Yesterday I (35YO) have initiated in the morning, getting a rejection that she (Wife of 4 years) hurries for work.
So in the evening I got a question, "are you going to shower"? I asked "Why do You ask?"
"You have a leftover BJ from the morning". I showered then of course.

The sex life have been improving steadily for the last year, when I picked up the slack. I am now getting some initiations from her side also, which did not happen for a few years. Started treating gym and healthy eating more serious. Of course I am getting some resistance most of the time for those actions. At first I was getting blamed, "Why do you excercise so much, lets cuddle in front of the tv" and so on... Then I bought a walking pad to get my daily steps when I do remote work meeting or watch tv or youtube. At first she also react, why do You need that. Then she was just ignoring that and so on, now she also walks on this ...

But back to the BJ. I go from the shower to her in the bedroom. And of course I need to get a shit test at this moment.
"Honey can you bring the water please first? I will wear the black overknee socks then!". Of course I treats me like a server that should go and bring her water... But she smiled in such a flirty way. So I responded "Black overknees and the black collar". The smile on her face imidiately changed into sad face. But I went to bring the water, and she was wearing black overknees, black collar and nothing more, sitting on the side of the bed.

I take my hand and point on the ground and say, "I want you kneeling right here". She responds with "Lets go to bed". I sense this as a power dynamic, with the bed position making it less dominating. I pushed through this and said "Babe I prefer this way today", and she obeyed. This was a step up for me because in such situations I would often break and accept her proposal of the position, as a beta bitch that is scared that she would just resign from the sex act.

She then proceeded to give a very good enthusiastic BJ. I tried to go for another thing I had in my mind, a facial (one of the few things I have on my list, that I could not go through at any point of the relationship), but she strongly opposed this again, anyway the very good BJ contiunued.

After finishing, we went to shower, and then we went back to bed.
I kissed her forehead and then got attacked with an argument.
"Woah, finally a nice gesture from you". I was surprised but reacted in a cool manner. I have not been explaining myself or saying sorry, as I would in previous situations. I just put my arm around her, and cuddled her to sleep while watch an us election stream.

But I am still thinking. Was my reaction ok? Was it a shit test or a comfort test? What would You improve in my behaviour?