Dread backfiring.. progressing too fast?

BobbyPeru · 2016-11-18T05:19:12+00:00

I suddenly began to reject all of that from her, and it's driving her insane

How do you rejecting all that? Your post is very vague

If you are getting in huge fights with her you need to STFU and let her fight herself.

Maybe try some AM I if you think you can handle it, but that can backfire if you don't have frame and you lack practice. Lighten up a bit maybe.

screechhater · 2016-11-18T02:51:19+00:00

Gonna have to add some comfort in there somewhere. They can't fucking stand a fucktad Rambo type and ya it's a great feeling to understand you are in control of you finally, but yes, dial it down a notch or two.

This should be a decently smooth transition that has a main event or two when you two fight over who is going to be in control of the relationship. Guess what ? When you reach IDGAF status and can display it properly you will be able to hand out the comfort much more smoothly and succinctly, she will notice

I will recommend that you ice her ass with a smile and hug when she walks back in. Don't be the dick child. It will speak volumes that you are having for the better in that she can't control you and her melt downs have no effect on Mr Bad Ass MRP cause he is always upbeat. Right motherfucker ?

cholomite · 2016-11-18T03:09:12+00:00

You gotta push through that shit man. She's going all in on breaking you because she is 99% certain you're a giant pussy beta who will eventually buckle and go back to how it was before. You know that will never happen, so pretending and prolonging will only make it worse. If she's just going crazy about stupid shit, try laughing and hugging her. It's her mood you want to change, not her mind. If she persists than go do something else without her.

Also, what the fuck are you fighting her about? That shit is pointless as fuck and you're completely wasting your time. I hope to god you're not trying to reason with her using logical arguments and complete sentences. If I were you I would be gone when she gets back.

Thirdly, I don't like silent treatment stalemates. It's too much effort and butthurt on your side, you're supposed to not give a fuck. Say hi to her, make a joke, ask a question, make fun of her, whatever. Just keep it cool and casual, and do your own thing if you have to. Congratulations on getting your life back.

ford_contour · 2016-11-18T03:13:19+00:00

our fights have exploded in magnitude

This tells me you haven't read and internalized "When I Say No, I Feel Guilty."

Get reading.

And in the meantime, shut up and lift. :)

Edit: And looking ahead - If she's still threatening to break things after you've learned not to feed the anger/frustration cycle, then it's time to lawyer up and divorce her.

sexyshoulderdevil · 2016-11-18T05:40:40+00:00

Uh, throwing and breaking your shit?

She batshit crazy and does this on the regular? If yes, then consider a slow wave while saying boo-bye as you exit stage left out the door...

If this is new behavior and totally not like her in any way, then reassess the rate at which you're ramping all this up. Go read the Dread Level info again.

Finally, every blue moon a female human can lose her mind from the perfect intersection of events. It's like you're encountering a different person entirely. Guys here have had this. It's kind of freaky. If it is this, talk to her when she's calm again. Tell her none of that will be tolerated ever again. She should profusely apologize. You be cool and collected.

mrpthrowa · 2016-11-18T07:56:56+00:00

Removes yourself physically when shit escalates.

Don't just stay in the same room or a different room. Get out.

You've trained her for years to control you. You will have to train her again that she doesn't get what she wants by throwing a tantrum. The ultimate way is to remove attention when she's a bitch.

DO NOT YIELD. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY FOR SAYING NO.

UEMcGill · 2016-11-18T13:33:27+00:00

our fights have exploded in magnitude

This right here is your problem. You have no frame. When my daughter was three and threw herself on the ground and stomped and yelled, "I'm never going to listen to you again!" do you think I was worried about that? Do you think I took her seriously? Fuck no. I smiled and left the room.

Your wife is behaving like a 3 year old. The best defense to temper tantrums? Ignore.

You've got a bigger problem in that she likes to break shit. You need to set clear boundaries and be ready to enforce them. Use her feelings to play upon that fact.

"Listen, I'm done. If you want to yell and scream go ahead. But when you are ready to talk like adults, I will be ready, calmly waiting."

No one likes to be called childish.

Your enforcement? Your presence. Remove yourself from her every-time she does this shit.

trp_dude · 2016-11-19T02:28:39+00:00

Flak is heaviest over the target. Increasing meltdowns means you're getting to where you need to be. Push through

stonepimpletilists · 2016-11-18T11:09:15+00:00

https://[deleted].blogspot.ca/2016/07/what-did-you-think-she-was-going-to-do.html

Also, stop trying to teach her a lesson, it will backfire

[deleted] · Fri Nov 18 15:49:45 2016 UTC

[permanently deleted]

Title	Dread backfiring.. progressing too fast?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	3
Comments	17
Date	November 18, 2016 2:18 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/5djzbf/dread_backfiring_progressing_too_fast/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/dread-backfiring-progressing-too-fast.206860 https://theredarchive.com/post/206860

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