edit: fucked the title of this up, not asking if i was using dread, but if her response was out of dread. wasn't asking for a road map to fix this situation either. still dont understand if dread is an action, reaction, or both...but i'm sure I'll get there. the situation itself has been resolved and i'm well aware that just bc all is good after the convo it doesnt mean she wont be testing me to see if that's a go-to reaction moving forward. so any advice, badgering and so on is still welcome, but if you can point me in the right direction to the reading material that covers handling situations like this that'd be great! i know there's a start at the top and work your way down mentality here, but this is my biggest problem area and i need to get to work on this asap.

edit 2: found what i'm looking for. still open to personal advice & badgering though!

we went out with friends and wife tells me to go get her a drink. I was going to get one anyway, but between her tone and no please it came across a little disrespectful...almost as if "fetch, boy." It wasn't a huge deal to me, but it didn't go unnoticed...so I asked her to give me one of her drink tickets and I'd go get it, very calmly, 3 different times. Each time she just sat there and looked at me with an entitled look on her face..."go get this princess her drink." My response was a simple "dont be mad when I come back with one drink then."

Well, she was mad. And 4 hours later (after I had just went about my day and enjoyed myself) I asked her if she wanted to leave and go out to the truck with me and a few buddies. we hadnt talked much in between so i thought maybe it'd be a good time to reset. She said no, I said I'd be back. she followed anyway and asked for money for more drinks. I got my wallet out without hesitating and handed her a 20. then she started in about me not getting her drink earlier. I ignored and continued to walk out with friends. she rips ass all the way out and into the parking lot and at one point puts her hand on my mouth and gave me a shove, when i finally had enough i told her if she kept it up i'd be serving divorce papers in the morning. she screamed the whole way to buddy's truck, and after ignoring most of it and telling her to get away from me her attitude changed to "lets talk this out." her tone changed and at that point she seemed pretty scared.

eventually we end up back inside the park (me walking off in stfu mode full force). i ignored her the entire time, but continued having as good of a time as i could with friends. a little later we finally talk, on my terms, and she actually seemed to be understanding. then we get home and i start hearing about how i want to sleep with my buddy's fiance, how i couldnt get her a drink but i lended 5 bucks to one of her friends for food and a few other off the wall topics that left me a little confused.

she was very mad, but said she made her mind up and she was ready for a split too. i remained calm the entire time (probably a good 45 minutes straight of her yelling at me).

I havent done much reading on dread yet, so i will get on that in the meantime. but she ended up laying in bed for a little bit. i could hear crying. a little later she got up and went to the couch, and then grabbed her keys and just left. she probably just went to her mom's or grandma's, but tbh i could care less at this point.

i'm very new to this like i said, so just looking to see if dread is the case, or if she had a legit reason to be pissed and i missed something. i dont feel like i was in rambo mode with my tone or language, but again...i'm a newbie lol if i got some shit to own, or something to learn from this then i'm all ears.