Hi, 25yo, married 7 years, have a 4yo son. Never had a good job, was always bouncing between school and work. I was a bitch the whole time, got fat, video games, cared about nothing, didnt want to do anything. Marriage slowly going down hill, divorce would become a joke during fights like "if you bring the papers tomorrow, i'll sign em".

Anyway, she left on a six month deployment. One day a month into it, she sends a message "I have been thinking a lot about our marriage and I'm sure you know I haven't been happy in a really long time and I would like to work on things." and i reply "U just ruined whatever happiness i have.", didnt hear from her for days, finally told her i still wanna talk so i emotionally released what i feel and how im gonna do better in life.

Well I did, in my own way, i wrote her long heart felt letters, was always available when she got on even at 2-3 am, i lost sleep over trying to kneel down before her. (now i know why it didnt work). But i did start exercising (not lifting....yet. i didnt even know rp at this time) and stopped video games n jerking off (because i wanted too). Had another talk with her a little later. She doesnt love me, doesnt see me as a husband, BUT she is willing to work on things when she gets back. So that just made me beta harder than before.

One day while trying to do something for her i access her email and out of suspicion click on the sent folder. I see an email with all this BS about how shes in love with Chad^^. She hurts without him, she regrets not taking a chance, blah blah blah miss u love you. I flip, but reserve my anger. I just message her " i saw the email, is this something i should worry about?" She said "No" that he was just there for her in her time of sorrow and that she'll never see him again. So w.e i moved on back to beta'ing.

Month or 2 later, shes in a hotel. Im feeling good about us, hope is on the horizon. I ask and receive nude photos, then send her some, we skype, but she just seems distant (not looking at me and always doing other shit). So i log into her email and what do i find..... more love you miss u stuff to a different guy, time stamped while we were skyping lol. I look at her search history and shes googling how to send secret messages, and shes sending these guys gifts through amazon, she even made a secret email. I go full bitch on her i think i even cried and asked her to just talk to me and tell me her feelings, I tell her im not mad. And she just says the same stuff she doesnt love me, wait til she gets back.

Couple days later i find MRP in a beta haze and it opens my eyes. i get all the ebooks (started reading NMMNG), read all the posts, I did start lifting this last week did 5x5 StrongLifts and am going to continue. But yea Im living outcome independent now, im really starting to not give a fuck. Its painfully embarassing to look back on how i use to act haha. I definitely have moments still where i wonder how i made her feel or w.e but most of the time i just say fuck it and think about something else. She seems receptive (not that we have that much interaction) but im not on my hands and knees anymore. She messages me "wake uppp" "answer meeee" at 3 am and i just say "sup" when i wake up, and we just have normal bs conversations. I like it. Ill send her a pic n she'll say i look thinner I just say "thank you", then i wont think about here or talk to her for another couple days. I feel at ease, like i just have to worry about me being happy and the rest will follow.

So the question. She comes back next month, i still want to try and work it out with her because i can see myself having fun with her, but not if shes not willing to try to. I also don't want those emotional affairs anywhere near me, so i need to address that, like if you dont cut ties/delete secret emails then im leaving. But obviously she has all the power, money (which i manage), house, cars, everything in her name. I just want to finish school right now, so i dont want to have divorce papers ready and give her the ultimatum right when she gets back only to have her sign em, cuz she doesn't give a fuck. but on the other hand i dont see us going anywhere if shes still talking to other guys whilst playing with me. I'm torn. Worst case i have to leave and scrounge together anything i can to finish school, but i wont die and can only get stronger. Best case she cuts ties and we live happily ever after, and middle case which i think will happen, she'll say she cuts ties but talks to them still and half asses the relationship.

Thoughts? and thank you in advance, not that you assholes need thank yous.