Her dinner with guy friend?

cholomite · 2016-01-09T18:23:58+00:00

Absolutely do not share your feelings with her about this. You made the right call ignoring it in the text as well. Since you're going to be away and there's no chance you can come along, your only play is to keep not giving a fuck. In fact, start giving less fucks than you ever have while increasing your SMV as much as you can. By not giving a fuck, you are displaying to her that you are high value. She'll pick up on your not caring as a sign that you have bigger and better things going on and her little friendly date isn't even worth mentioning by you. Make yourself hot and keep your game tight before you leave. Buy some new clothes and get a nice haircut or something. Whatever you can do to boost your SMV in the short amount if time you have.

When she's out on her dinner night, don't be blowing up her phone either. If she calls or texts ignore them or give very short responses. Find something fun for you to do where ever you are.

But above all else, don't talk about this to her. It's too late for you to put some boundries down without coming across as insecure and a beta. Any thing you say, other than "have fun", will make you look inferior to him in her eyes and will make him look more attractive.

To answer the rest of your questions, I don't know you enough to say whether you've been BP in your relationship. Yes, this guy friend and all her guy friends are potential threats. Unfortunately you can't kill him with a rock like in the old days, so instead you need to kill him with game, lifting, charm and charisma. He will kill you by making you jealous and insecure about him. That is how it works these days. Yes, it is BP to feel threatened but I don't think you'll find many people in here who have never felt threatened before, even after swallowing the pill. It's how you respond to that feeling that matters. Now start giving less fucks, go out and buy a cool new shirt and hit the gym. Good luck brother.

AgainstTheHerd · 2016-01-10T05:15:33+00:00

Is this a joke. Please ..say it is. What married man in his right mind would consider this acceptable? Honestly?

Redneck001 · 2016-01-11T01:42:45+00:00

Fuck it. Concentrate on yourself. If your wife's going to cheat, I seriously doubt she's going to tell you the name of the dude AND the night.

She can have male friends. If your shit is tight, you're good. "He sounds like a nice guy. Have fun, blow him for me." And truly DGAF.

chief_slap_ahoe · 2016-01-10T11:54:30+00:00

IDK what is up with all the throwaway accounts. If you need help then ask for it. Fuck your ego. This throwaway shit is sad and useless. No one wants to help just because of that.

I'll give you a clue. It's funny that she is going out on a date when your going out of town. And it is a date. If their are any sexual feelings by either party it is a date. And the average man wants his dick wet all the time. She is "newly" pregnant. Meaning she just has her body and can fuck all night "RAW" without the worry of getting pregnant. Her hormones are all over the place. If she is like my wife she will want to fuck even more now.

Glenbert · 2016-01-10T19:00:39+00:00

I would err toward DGAF as cholomite said, OP.

I'm approaching this as an economist would, but I'm making one big assumption here: as she is "newly pregnant" you guys are millennials -- or at least she is a millennial... and so is her guy friend.

My wife is a millennial (I'm gen X) and I'm not sure if guys my age and older have any idea just what sort of a clown world millennials were raised in. They grew up in mix-gendered soccer teams, scouting troupes and even dorm halls with uni-sexed bathrooms. They have been programmed to believe that guy friends and girl friends are identical... even when they know its not true. They must pay homage to the clown world cathedral with platonic not-quite-dates. Friendships with with former co-workers are usually the easiest, non-skanky way to accomplish this.

That said, here's what my decision tree looks like:

You mate-guard and she has malicious intent = you only delay the inevitable and you reinforce his higher value over you... enjoy that time bomb.
You mate-guard and she has no malicious intention = you come off as insecure, unattractive and you've also now planted a seed that you think he has something you don't
You DGAF and she has malicious intent = well, give her enough rope to hang herself with and move on, fail fast as they say... I'd bet she'd terminate the pregnancy anyway
You DGAF and she has no malicious intent = everything cholomite said

But with the last outcome being the most favorable and most likely, you've still got to get this fixed. You fucked up by not getting to know your wife's flighty male friend. I mean even the white-knight/blooper/SJW knows that acquaintance rape is "a thing" and you should at least run the guys name against the sex offender registry. This is your wife... and now child, we're talking about.

Your crash-and-AMOG approach would have been what I did and you need to do that if there's a next time. For now, just follow what cholomite said and focus on the conference. But also, if you can, figure out who set up this thing, him or her -- that's not clear to me -- and it will tell you a lot about her intent.

My now-wife/then gf had a guy friend who I thought was pretty alpha because he was really good looking when we first started dating. He invited her out for brunch all the time and against by gut, I was DGAF about it rather than making it an issue. He soon proved to be a massively insecure pussy who wanted my GF to help him with his problems. She got totally disgusted by him and cut him out pretty quickly. Lesson: what men might perceive as alpha is irrelevant; it's the woman's opinion that matters. Good thing I didn't mate-guard.

Any chance this guy is like that? I can't imagine too many true alpha's have time for pregnant woman. But a beta in need of the sort of non-judgmental emotional tamponery that only a woman can offer... yup.

PemBayliss · 2016-01-11T16:44:15+00:00

Assuming this isn't a troll... It is never appropriate for a married woman to have dinner with a man she's not married to, alone, just the two of them. That's a date. She's going on a date with him.

This isn't a business meeting with a current coworker or even a male superior. This isn't a group meeting with old friends from school. This is a date with a man she used to know from work.

She's being shitty.

stonepimpletilists · 2016-01-09T18:08:40+00:00

Nice try...

PemBayliss · 2016-01-11T19:49:47+00:00

I disagree with cholomite only in this respect: I think you can say something about a wife going out for dinner with any man other than you. You get to say it only once, though. Say something like this:

"It's inappropriate and wrong for you to go out alone to a social function with any man other than me."

NOTE: You get to say this ONCE and only once for the lifetime of your marriage. Any more than that and you're beta, insecure and butthurt.

And then after you say it, you watch what she does. What she does will tell you how she views your marriage, and you.

And I don't believe a woman feels compelled to meet alone with men outside work, whether it be a male superior or male equal, or even a male subordinate. The modern workplace just doesn't work that way. There's no reason for a man and woman to meet alone outside work for the purposes of furthering company business. If a man at work ever suggests that a woman meet him alone outside work for ANY reason, all it takes is one call to HR to jam that guy up and fuck up his career. Because the truth is that one man and one woman having dinner together alone IS A DATE.

alpha_n3rd · 2016-01-10T17:44:58+00:00

One thing you could do is joke about it.

The other night I was being my cocky self and my wife was getting a little insecure and she was all like "you know I can get guys too, maybe I should go see soandso."

I'm like "Hahahah is soandso your new boyfriend?"

Her: "Maybe"

Me: "So tell me how you want soandso to do you. Standing up? Sitting down? His place or your place?"

Her: "Alpha Nerd! I don't like joking about this!"

Me: "One more question... SPIT OR SWALLOW?"

Her: "HAHAHAHA YOU'RE SO GROSS"

We had hot monkey sex later

I guess my point is if you're fucking her properly and clearly demonstrating your value and security then you ain't got no problem, Jules.

Title	Her dinner with guy friend?
Author	FiduciaryOdyssey
Upvotes	8
Comments	33
Date	January 9, 2016 5:53 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/4078u0/her_dinner_with_guy_friend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/her-dinner-with-guy-friend.207752 https://theredarchive.com/post/207752

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