making progress, DBR remains

[deleted] · 2017-07-03T17:21:26+00:00

I had a buddy growing up who was gifted a brand new Mustang when he was 18 or 19 by a rich grandparent who paid his insurance as well. He loved that car, and he took care of it like you wouldn't believe. This wasn't the typical "run it into the ground and treat it like shit" teenage story like you almost always see. That car was his baby.

Over time, that car started having problems here and there. No matter how badly he tried to take care of it and how much money he spent on it, shit eventually just kept going wrong and kept going wrong with it.

Eventually, he had to come to terms with the fact that it wasn't worth it to put all of that time, effort, money and stress into that car when he could easily get another one that would give him a lot less trouble and a lot more of what he wanted.

[deleted] · 2017-07-03T17:29:40+00:00

This is a girlfriend, right?

You were unattractive, and, she is also not attracted to you.

Now you are attractive (says you) and she does not notice.

You have therapy, she has therapy........

She talks and you listen and believe.......

You are an ATM but she is not a whore.......

You are young strong, single and in a dead bedroom....... agree you might need therapy..........

Find someone that is attracted to you and wants to f--k your brains out. Life is short and you are wasting your time, her time, and ours.

Cobey3_16 · 2017-07-03T16:44:07+00:00

Feel better?

Good. Go lift something, own YOUR (not HER) shit and quit focusing on shit that is out of your control.

How do you get her to wake the fuck up? You fucking don't "get her" to do anything. Also, you may need to really look into whether there is "no more being a whiny, needy bitch" part. Because that doesn't seem to be the case, based on what I'm reading...

straius · 2017-07-03T19:45:43+00:00

Couples therapy is unlikely to help. You may get better mileage with a sex therapist that is kink aware (more educated) if the only problem is a dysfunction in sexual dynamics.

It's hard to understand that background since it sounds like you were sexually adventuresome in the beginning and she was comfortable. But by the end of your post it sounds like she has a mental block that's shutting down her sexuality.

If that'a the root of the relationship woes, you'll probably get more mileage out of a specialist than general couples therapy.

screechhater · 2017-07-03T20:07:49+00:00

College boy, listen up.

Move the fuck on. Next.

You. Can. Not. Negotiate. Attraction. It. Is. Over.

Rational male. Read it. College boy.

Lots of fish in sea. Find some new pussy

RuleZeroDAD · 2017-07-03T20:17:04+00:00

GF + DBR = NEXT

You can give a girlfriend a FMOFY talk any day now. For future pussy, please develop some abundance mentality.

PurpleVeteran · 2017-07-03T22:54:01+00:00

my GF just doesn't give me the sexual attention i want and need since the last ~ 3 yrs of our relationship.

If this is so important to you, then why are you still with her?

We had a failed foursome ( i couldn't get hard for shizzle , went mad that she didn't realize i wasn't ok and enjoyed herself regardless and we had a huge fight),

So, you wanted to show her up and fuck someone else at the same time, but it turned out you were so insecure you couldn't perform and you found that the DBR isn't due to her lack of desire.

Other than owning my shit, taking responsibility/the lead where ever i can, working on becoming the best and happiest version of myself. How do i get her to WAKE THE FUK UP and go back to being the exciting , sexy thing i fell in love with once again?

Other than the MRP fundamentals? how do you fix her? Have you even read the sidebar? You can't fix her, you can't fix the relationship, you can only fix yourself. Once you have demonstrated actual value, then maybe she (or someone else) will reciprocate your affection. In the meantime, your need for validation is so bad that you reek of desperation... and nothing is less attractive.

She suggested a sex positive couples therapist, i told her i'm in. [...] She states often she believes we can fix this and that it will be ok again. I hear her, but i don't see any deeds from her.

Yeah, she either wants to find a way to let you down easy or is still in denial about her lack of attraction to you.

Could the wifesharing fetish (which btw. seems completely absurd to me now) thing have done so much damage that i need to give her more time to adjust to me no more being a whiny, needy bitch?

Why do you keep insisting that this is her problem? Not only are you whiny and needy, you are also manipulative and insecure. You are on NoFap, you have tried kinks, you are going to a sex therapist, and yet nothing works to fix her... because the problem is you.

i have shifted the paradigm of my life towards one of autonomy and self improvement.

Sure, so what's your plan? Hint, it starts over here ---->

capn_barnacles · 2017-07-03T20:14:38+00:00

This post comes to mind. I refer back to it often as a gut check that just me looking better and owning my shit better alone won't increase her desire (maybe for some women, but not in my case).

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/5ttgz3/married_game_if_youre_not_flirting_withgaming/

nastynickdr · 2017-07-03T17:40:49+00:00

"Also, she tells me constantly how handsome i am and how much she is in love with me, and when we DO have sex, it is always at least good but more often than not great!!! (something we agree on)"

Fill in the blanks: Watch what they _, not what they _.

So, you are not even married and you have got yourself a DB already. Not entering into the LTR sharing thing, which for me is a huge DLV (if you like seeing your woman being ravaged by other guys for whatever reason do it with PLATES, you dont need to commit to a woman for that), since you are not even married you can easily walk, focus on you, start owning your shit and figure out what you want of a relationship and of life.

Yeah keep always improving yourself, for your own sake, regardless of you being with her or not. No, dont go to a sex therapist with her (maybe you yourself should see one). So, she is only your GF and you are her ATM already? Thats bad.

She can be the best person in the world as you describe, but if she doesnt want to fuck you, your relationship is gonna suck, as you have already noticed.

Hit the sidebar. My suggestion: walk away from this mess, absorb the sidebar and apply it, improve and fix yourself, figure out what you want of a LTR and of life, spin some plates, and THEN consider a LTR again.

Big_Daddy_PDX · 2017-07-03T18:15:42+00:00

She just isn't that into you. Improve yourself and make changes from being the dependent little Blue Pill to being a captain. SHE won't be the one that determines when you've arrived. But maybe you'll figure out when to stop putting effort into something that isn't going to happen. It isn't her fault. You trained her.

Title	making progress, DBR remains
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	2
Comments	18
Date	July 3, 2017 4:29 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/6l0xpj/making_progress_dbr_remains/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/making-progress-dbr-remains.205917 https://theredarchive.com/post/205917

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