Sex initiation guidelines?

redwall92 · 2023-05-10T12:44:00+00:00

I had a question about initiating sex and if/ how/ when we do it

Initiate if you want.

Initiate how you want.

Initiate when you want.

This is the end goal. As you're new, this won't mean much. But it's the place you want to be. Hit the sidebar. STFU. Do the reading. Do the internal work. Get to the gym and lift.

"doing my very best to STFU" ... stop wasting words ... we're not your mommy. You don't have to please us or placate us with "but I'm trying my best .... yada yada yada."

man_in_the_world · 2023-05-10T17:33:07+00:00

Initiate sex when you have real, physical desire ... not from desire for validation. That's the most important rule.

Consider initiating at different times of day, not only at bedtime.

Many men here have found nonverbal initiation more effective.

Remington-Holmes · 2023-05-10T22:11:40+00:00

Loads of good advice above. I'm wondering what's up with the chaps - none of the usual piss-taking and snark. I'll add a few more thoughts.

No victim mindset allowed. Your wife doesn't prevent you from having sex. It is the man's duty to keep himself physically, mentally and socially attractive enough to be worth a woman banging him. If you operate with the mindset that the wife is duty-bound to bang you, you are wrong. A wife that never bangs you is a roommate. That roommate never wants to bang you. If you decide that only the wife can bang you, that you're desperate for sex and that you will make all sorts of efforts to placate your woman enough for sex, you are doomed to failure.

Women have lower libidos than men and higher expectations for attractiveness. Be attractive, don't be unattractive. You don't make yourself attractive for a woman, you do it so that it makes you attractive to women generally. However even that isn't enough, because for it to really work well, the efforts need to be made for you, your interests and goals. If you act with the goal of bedding a woman, trying to press all the right buttonsz then most times you'll fail. You're better off developing a strong lean body, good grooming, interesting hobbies, sound finances, good social life and social status.....and also being unapologetically sexual in a suitably calibrated way. Do that and women will show their interest and make themselves available to you.

Women generally, and probably your wife too, enjoy the challenge of locking down a man. Before being locked down, you're a challenge to decrypt and tame. If you're unquestionably loyal and/or almost no other woman would bang you, you're an open book, no challenge, and no fun. The wife doesn't get the fun, thrills and emotional rollercoaster of competing with other women to earn your time, attention, affection, efforts and presence. You hand those to her on a plate. Your sexual frustration and persistence plus giving her all the relationship benefits she wants without her giving up the booty tells her that you consider that you're trapped and have no options. First and foremost, your mindset is the problem.

You don't have to plan to bang other women, but you should at least operate from the perspective of 'plausible deniability'. At the very least, understand that if the wife never bangs you, she isn't really a wife. She doesn't get to choose not to bang you, and for you not to have sex. You cannot cheat on someone that isn't a sexual partner. At the very least be open minded enough that if the wife never bangs you and another attractive woman is interested, then you may choose to go there.

Stop chasing the wife for sex and getting frustrated. Don't ever discuss that with her. If you're horny, you tease, be suggestive, use 'kino' contact, innuendo, etc. If wife never likes that, then tough luck, you're a sexual guy, that's just you doing you. You'll not be worried about upsetting the wife. As you get busier and more attractive, you'll have attractive interactions with other women, and you'll enjoy their presence. You'll spend your time effort, resources and energy where you enjoy to. That will provide some space for the wife to miss the time, effort and attention that you used to lavish upon her, and which she didn't really appreciate. It can give her space to miss you, and worry whether you are 100% committed to her.....and the opportunity to put in the work to earn your time attention, effort and intimacy.

Being a 100% unquestionably committed open book dedicated husband is boring and likely to leave you working hard to please someone that is bored with you, and just using you for your resources and productivity.

SnooGuavas8229 · 2023-05-10T17:59:07+00:00

She can sense your desperation, neediness & covert contracts which are huge turn-offs hence your lack of pussy and frustration.

Cultural-Highway3134 · 2023-05-10T12:15:00+00:00

I should clarify:

I’m sick of the ‘I’m too tired’ excuse, for feeling guilty for trying (or guilty for even wanting it), and feeling rejected when it doesn’t happen

Maybe it’s my approach to initiating; for example my timing, my lack of STFU, or maybe my soft-cock attempt to talk and elude to it instead of acting with expectation.

Any tips, guides or resources really would be greatly appreciated

KagedRageius · 2023-05-10T16:33:15+00:00

I’m assuming she was fucking you regularly at some point. How have you changed since then?

Praexology · 2023-05-11T01:04:48+00:00

I’m currently a dead alpha male

No. You aren't.

Give up the lame self soothing. The only thing that floats is the desiccated scraps left after you do.

I had a question about initiating sex and if/ how/ when we do it

Whenever you want. If she gives you bad sex, caveman her. If she rejects you, don't act butthurt, if you don't want to: don't.

Simple as that. Problem is, sex is still validation for you.

youcantdenythat · 2023-05-11T01:59:09+00:00

Find your style

DiCarlo Escalation Ladder

or

Daniel Rose Sex God Method

Title	Sex initiation guidelines?
Author	Cultural-Highway3134
Upvotes	11
Comments	16
Date	May 10, 2023 12:05 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/13domv3/sex_initiation_guidelines/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/sex-initiation-guidelines.1218873 https://theredarchive.com/post/1218873

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