Wife's Desire

red-sfpplus · 2019-01-10T19:21:18+00:00

I am pro divorce.

I do not believe that once the switch is flipped you can get it back.

Better to cut your losses and enjoy other THOTS.

MrChad_Thundercock · 2019-01-09T22:55:44+00:00

“but looking for advice how to begin to restore”

Start reading faggot ===>

Tbonesupreme · 2019-01-11T15:58:32+00:00

If you want to save the marriage, then STFU and focus SOLELY on yourself. Not the relationship. Definitely not her.

If you want divorce, then STFU and focus SOLELY on yourself. Not the relationship. Definitely not her.

If she comes around, then great. If not, you'll be in a much better place when it's time to divorce.

Kpwn88 · 2019-01-10T13:54:01+00:00

Fairly new to red pill community. Read many of the sidebar books and am building my frame and MAP. I've had a pretty good LTR and subsequent marriage up until about 6 weeks ago. My wife has lost practically all attraction to me through a series of needy, approval seeking victim pukes that started on a recent vacation. I've headed this off and I'm getting help, but I'm concerned it's too late.

She tells me that she feels turned off, indifferent, and not optimistic about our future. I want to save the marriage and she says she does as well (so she says), but I'm confused as to whether desire can be recaptured. She has been explicit about not wanting sex. From what I've learned so far, I get that it's what she feels now, but looking for advice how to begin to restore. I've began to STFU and plan to move forward. Also lifting. Currently 6', 245 lbs, bench 250, squat 275, deadlift 275 as well. Can and does this stuff work for rebuilding desire that I know can't be negotiated?

Help me! I've gotten too comfortable in my relationship, and got lazy. This resulted in my wife losing attraction for me. I need a reassurance from strangers on the internet my marriage can be saved because I'm a pussy that's afraid to lose her.

FIFY

matrixtospartanatLV · 2019-01-10T14:52:59+00:00

“Can and does this stuff work for rebuilding desire that I know can’t be negotiated?”

No.

In your question you are sowing the seeds of your own failure. Your question is a covert contract.

You have failed yourself as a man.

You may lose your marriage and your wife as a result.

Sucks, doesn’t it? Hurts like a bitch, don’t it?

Welcome to the Red Pill.

You’re 3 days old. Not much older than Neo when he first looked at Morpheus and asked why his eyes hurt. Morpheus replied, “You’ve never used them before.”

Your goal is to become a man. A real, high value, self-actualized man. This kind of man is sought after and coveted by women, but that’s not why you do it. Women are a byproduct of your life. They are an accessory. Their quality is directly proportional to your value.

Your wife of so many years is ready to question your relationship over 6 bad weeks?

Either she is low value, or your shit has been going on longer than 6 weeks.

Grow the fuck up.

Become a man.

The wife may come along, or not.

The marriage may last, or not.

Now get to fucking work.

All the work you did previously doesn’t fucking count if you could write this post after doing it.

Start over.

Start here;

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/acvzgx/steels_guide_to_married_red_pill/?st=JQQQGTCR&sh=68336a22

CaliEd256 · 2019-01-15T04:06:58+00:00

6 foot and 245 pounds??? Holy christ you’re fat. Take your shirt off. Would you fuck yourself? I’m guessing No. Why would she want to fuck you then?

In answer to your question, Yes, all this “stuff” can rebuild desire. But only if you do it for you, not for her.

mrssmithhh · 2019-02-09T15:04:55+00:00

6 weeks isn't a very long time in the grande scheme of "I Do." Honestly, I've had miserable years but have stuck it out - and it has actually become a happy marriage again, and I thank god that I shut my ears to everyone telling me to leave and I put my nose down and tried to learn how to fix myself, and clean up my portion of the relationship. I'm sorry for the fact that your wife is considering breaking her vows over a lack of desire for a measly 6 weeks. The proper thing for her to do would be to have a quiet and honest conversation about her lack of desire for you, and then ask you to take over and do whatever you can to fix it - and then stick by your side and be excited for whatever progress you make.

You asked " Can and does this stuff work for rebuilding desire that I know can't be negotiated? " Yes. Women are built to respond to men. This is in your favor, because it means your wife's natural state is to respond with sexual desire to your masculinity. We're physically and psychologically made to receive a man - and we are built to shut down when we sense a man is posing, being weak, being manipulative, being lesser and dependent. It's a harsh criticism of a guy's manhood when his woman shuts him out, but he should take it as a warning signal and look internally for the answers. The Red Pill, at it's core, teaches men to have integrity in a way which no man or woman can take from them. A woman cannot help but respond to that in a sexually positive way. I believe women are built to respond to it. The caveat, though, is that a woman can sniff a poser from a mile away. You have to figure out how to become a man who seeks to be amazing because he himself desires it, not because you want to save your marriage or because you want to get more women or any sort of validation. That's the tricky part, because it is difficult to ignore the negative feedback that you are receiving from your wife - and wives are usually a good litmus test of how well a man is living up to his potential. But accept that you may or may not lose your marriage. It sounds as though your wife lacks some serious integrity, and you cannot control her or her choices. You can control you, and once you internalize the Red Pill philosophies (not the PUA stuff - the true Red Pill rules on being a man) you will either re-awaken the desire in your wife, or she will cave to her lack of integrity, divorce you, and you will most likely find a better woman to support you and admire your manliness and unshakable resolve. Committing to internalizing the Red Pill philosophy is a win-win scenario for you. You just have to commit and consequences be damned.

Also very important - it's not a man's job to save the relationship. It's a man's job to be conquering the world and climbing figurative mountains. It's the woman's job to save the relationship. He should want to have the woman around, but it is not a need. She needs the relationship, therefore she should make it a priority, not you. Your priority is to yourself and your integrity (this does not mean be purposefully cruel or a jerk or whatever - it means that you should be self-interested, your integrity comes first, and if she fits into that than you are happy and pleased to have added joy). Focus on improving yourself.

DancesWithPugs · 2019-01-10T09:35:36+00:00

You sound plenty strong already and there is no magic amount of weight lifted that gets you respect or love. Your numbers aren't relevant. By all means keep lifting but that's not the issue here.

You said it yourself, victim pukes. There are probably more subtle signs of insecurity she is picking up on. I know it's harf but try not to feel sorry for yourself, it's a bad way to heal.

Perhaps a new hobby or income source would help you refocus. Or, take her out on more physical adventures.

TheThirdT · 2019-01-10T14:03:57+00:00

Why do you want to save the marriage?

All the advice is contained in the sidebar. Have you read it?

BluepillProfessor · 2019-01-12T18:49:04+00:00

This is just a version of I love you but I'm not in love with you. This reddit.is.all.about your question but you have to start by realizing the only way out is to develop options.

0io- · 2019-01-25T17:57:46+00:00

Other posters have given you good advice, but it sounds like you're about 70 pounds overweight, which is probably at least two-thirds of the problem with your wife's desire. You're way too fat! If you keep lifting weights and cut down to about 6' 175 lbs you'll be much more attractive, not only to your wife, but to everybody else, as well.

Title	Wife's Desire
Author	puzzle_maverick
Upvotes	3
Comments	16
Date	January 7, 2019 4:30 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/adjbon/wifes_desire/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/wifes-desire.203690 https://theredarchive.com/post/203690

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