Bad behavior: what to do?

secret_barber · 2015-08-17T14:41:48+00:00

she didn't respond back

That is rude. Whatever her excuse, she doesn't value you. Act accordingly, de-prioritize her.

Metalaggeddon · 2015-08-17T13:14:15+00:00

In these cases I usually say "everyone has a life to attend to. I definitely had fun."

I rarely bother telling them what I did, and would consider it a next until she hits me up again.

quickening84 · 2015-08-17T13:11:38+00:00

If it's a first time offense, soft next for a few days, it's easy to forget to respond to such things y'know.

If not, hard next.

Don't take disrespect like that.

ItIsMyPrivilege · 2015-08-17T16:09:07+00:00

If I have been seeing a girl for two months and she simply doesn't reply, that shows she doesn't value what you two have.

Especially if she didn't respond until like two days later or something?

Whisper · 2015-08-17T22:43:14+00:00

You can only discipline a woman if she is invested in you. If she isn't committed to you, your disapproval means nothing to her. Only your indifference will let you keep the upper hand.

If a woman isn't invested in you, you can only punish bad behaviour by showing more indifference to her.

Especially in the beginning, I recommend treating every parting as a potential soft next. Every time you go home, take it for granted that you might not see her again. Every text you send, take it for granted that there may be no response. Every date you set up, take it for granted that there's good odds it won't happen.

Always be making your plans for the rest of your life as if you will never see this woman again. Then, if she lets you down or disrespects you, just carry on with those plans. This makes the actual soft next easy.

In this case, here's what I would do:

Wait 12 hours to a few days.
Text back "NP. Made other plans."
Soft next.
Start working on another girl.

The last part is important. When you soft next, you look right away for your next target... that way, if she reinitiates, your brain regards her as part of the past, and it's up to her to talk her way back in.

OmLaLa · 2015-08-17T20:00:01+00:00

but when I confirmed a time, she didn't respond back.

If she stands you up, check your SMV. Women only look forward to events with men equal or higher than their SMV and only fuck men of higher SMV. Yours may not be as high as you think it is. Least not to her.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2015-08-17T20:52:06+00:00

been seeing this girl for about 2 months now

Two months. Are you fucking her? B/C I get the impression you are not.

trpftw · 2015-08-17T17:16:09+00:00

It could be a mistake or that she went to bed early but still she should know and communicate that. But it's a good sign that she apologized.

I'd consider it suspicious behavior (not that suspicious), but I wouldn't overthink it. Just let her initiate the plan next time unless she texts you to come up with a plan. She should be texting you out of the blue to talk to you about stuff, since the last time it was a cancelled plan.

Responding with "I had good weekend regardless." Might be decent. Don't say "it's fine". Don't say anything that might indicate an acceptance of the apology. If she asks you about your weekend, be extremely vague and give zero details and simply ask her what she did.

Doctorpepperpants · 2015-08-19T03:37:56+00:00

Soft next + dread game. Don't give away your time to somebody who doesn't respect it.

halfunplugged · 2015-08-17T15:38:50+00:00

Everytime a girl slights me via something like this and it's in the text-realm I really struggle with what to respond with. There is nothing you can text back passive-aggressively that doesn't make you come off like a little bitch I've decided. The only response is to not respond for a couple days and then completely ignore it.

So in your case after her apology and excuse I don't respond until Tuesday/Wednesday unless she reaches back out in the meantime to reschedule something. Then come Wednesday afternoon I'll send something like, "_____ is playing at [bar] tomorrow at 8pm, lets grab a drink and enjoy some music" IF they ignore that its a soft next until they re-initiate, or if they're 'busy' that night its still probably a soft next. I hate the idea of saying 'Ok let me know when you're available' fuck that.

Title	Bad behavior: what to do?
Author	cmiovino
Upvotes	17
Comments	15
Date	August 17, 2015 12:44 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3hb5hx/bad_behavior_what_to_do/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/bad-behavior-what-to-do.152543 https://theredarchive.com/post/152543

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