Being more affectionate than women eventually destroys relationships/makes them not want you as much. But I REALLY enjoy showing affection. It makes me kind of sad that ignoring my girlfriend/reducing the attention i give her, has been healthy for our relationship. Why cant WE be more affectionate?

DonaldBaelish · 2016-11-08T07:59:09+00:00

You don't let your bitch out because you are not supposed to be a bitch. You were born a man , not a child that enjoys displaying feminine energy.

About 50 years ago , men were raised to be masculine. They were taught from the beginning of their lives to not act like a bitch. Thats why women with strong father figures exist. Women can show you femininity. You are not supposed to.

The point of LTRs is to teach a woman how to behave and to overall enjoy her company. To get something out of it. To know that you are not the only one bringing stuff to the table.

Yeah I'll tell my bitch I love her after her displaying extremely great behaviour. Yeah I'll get her a flower once or twice after she shows me how much she loves me by riding me to infinity.

But I will withdraw affection the moment she does something idiotic out of nowhere. Like a father would do if his daughter dissapointed him.

It is normal to display beta tendencies in a LTR , because something vital is that she needs comfort. That is why being too alpha is a bad strategy for a LTR. The GOAL is to not go FULL BETA.

notimportantjustme · 2016-11-08T07:57:20+00:00

Yeah...that's the thing.

This whole thing is retarded, but it's the way it has to be.

You do what you must, not what you want. Or you change what you want to what you must.

The alternative is crying in a corner, because a woman will not fall in love with another woman. She's the one that has to do those things.

Askada · 2016-11-08T11:17:16+00:00

Why cant WE be more affectionate?

Well, you can. You will just be unhappy with the outcome.

It's similar to asking, why can't you punch some random bloke in the face and expect him to apologize you for it.

MAYBE I DONT WANT TO BE THE ONE THAT LOVES LESS

You can't eat a cookie and have a cookie at the same time, simple as that.

What is the point of LTR's if you cant show the love you want to/have to limit it?

If you want to feel loved, go hug your mother. You go into relationships to have sex and fun, not to be loved. The same way you don't go to bakery to get a haircut.

Stop being angry. Stop tying your happiness to women. Find your own goals in life.

rpredneck · 2016-11-08T11:35:51+00:00

It's quality over quantity. I get my girls flowers only a few times each year, and I make sure that it's around the time they are about to have their period because that's when they are most prone to accepting beta behavior. It means the world to them that I spent <$10 on some flowers at the grocery store, cut the ends off and threw them into a vase. We're talking pictures of the damn things on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, YIM, AIM, ICQ and whatever the fuck else women are into these days. It lets them say to the rest of their friends, "Look what my pussy got me, it's better than what your pussy got you, because my pussy is better than yours and don't you forget it bitch."

If you got her flowers every single week, then they would stop meaning anything to her, even if they were the same damn flowers or even if you spent $100/week on them. Frequency matters.

Aside from that, let her be the girl in the relationship. You can show affection in masculine ways. I just showed affection last night by fingering a chick in the ass in the bathroom of this couple we were eating with and telling her how much daddy loved his good girl. She was lovey dovey hanging all over my ass the rest of the evening, the whole ride home, the whole ride at home and the whole time after the ride at home until she fell asleep.

quicklogaccount · 2016-11-08T11:48:35+00:00

/u/SkorchZang and /u/firewaterdirt are completely right.

The first thing I'll tell you to take a look at a book (or at just the concept) called love's five languages. Take a look at how you show affection, how she does it and how she receives it. A bit off topic, but this thing doesn't get mentioned enough here.

You can be as affectionate as you might want. It really doesn't dry her pussy. What has a direct effect on the attraction she feels for and in the value she sees in you and lowers it a LOT is requesting emotional support from her, which might be exactly what you mean by "let the little bitch you are deep down come out".

Look at it from her perspective and it becomes clear. She's not attracted to people she acts motherly towards, for obvious reasons. People who need her are not attractive.
Now, in the lack of a better word and to take advantage of the opposition of the behaviors involved, it's ok to act fatherly. Give support and affection.

This might come as a bit off topic here too, but in terms of comfort, it goes like this, and it's easy to draw the parallel with affection. If you get this impression, yes, I'm being lazy and reusing old stuff.

She might GET comfort in two ways:

When you act like her support and is strong in her time of need. You ACT, she RECEIVES. This is the proper comfort, but you need the opportunity for it. It doesn't lower you value;
When she betafies and infantilizes you, seizing control. Here, she ACTS and you ACCEPT. This REALLY screws your value for her.

Now, you can change the agent, from HER to YOU. The sorts of comfort remain the same, but you get:

When she GIVES you the opportunity to be her rock, you ACT on it. She has to GIVE you this opportunity;
You can "push" comfort into the relationship, by acting beta, exchanging attraction for comfort. Quality women have REALLY low tolerance for this, IF ANY.

RPSigmaStigma · 2016-11-08T12:58:22+00:00

Date multiple women at a time so you can spread your affection around to avoid giving each one too much.

Thecman50 · 2016-11-08T07:45:27+00:00

Honestly same age range as you and I'm the EXACT same way. I can't tell if it's a mindset issue or if it's just preference. The way I've dealt with it in the past is to have a push and pull. You can be affectionate sometimes, just not ALL the time. Not sure if it's RP but that's my experience with it.

savagedealer · 2016-11-08T14:06:04+00:00

Marry a whore ... those women love guys who show all the affection to them in the world because 1.) they have control over you and 2.) your gona be so in love you won't even bother asking or knowing she's a whore ... there is an answer out there for everyone wether you like it or not is a personal problem

ecosci · 2016-11-09T01:10:12+00:00

This repulses women its a turn off no matter what they say i wa nt a nice caring guy who can cry with me its a LIE all the while she avoids sex with you and the alpha side dude is giving her screaming orgasms dont be a cuddle bear unless sex is to follow after or during.

masha1990 · 2016-11-08T07:33:54+00:00

Its either the age or who your dating because I prefer being showered with affection. I love it because it always makes my day better its like adding a cherry to a sundae.

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