Blushing. Any advice?

FrameWalker · 2016-02-18T15:58:38+00:00

Get out there more, keep exposing yourself to things that make you blush.

Like any weakness, flaunt it like a strength. Don't hide your blushing. "Guys stop you're making me blush" call yourself out on it loudly. Noone will think twice about it.

frerri · 2016-02-18T14:58:58+00:00

Get used to the situations that make you blush. I blush sometimes when speaking infront of a crowd i dont know becaus i do it so rarely.

But i interact with people everyday, i work in sales and i push interractions all the time.

Go do cold approaches untill your mind is numb.

catofillomens · 2016-02-18T15:54:49+00:00

I think you might be conflating cause and effect here. Do you lose frame because you blush, or are you blushing because you lost frame?

If you are blushing because you get embarrassed, anxiety etc. (and thus lose frame) easily, work on gaining more confidence, as the /u/frerri said. If you are losing frame because you blush (for other reasons), then work on your reactions. Don't even acknowledge blushing as a problem - because it isn't a problem. People always think they appear worse than they actually do. If you don't act as though its a problem, it won't be a problem.

GainzdalfTheWhey · 2016-02-18T17:50:26+00:00

Funny how i was talking about this on the irc and kicked me on the chan lol (estrogen)

Plan_of_Action · 2016-02-18T22:46:15+00:00

I used to blush all the time, then I got a sales job. Over time I got used to being in charge of the interaction and handling embarrassment and rejection like a pro. Exposure therapy.

RedAsBlood · 2016-02-18T22:47:14+00:00

More exposure to the things that make you blush.

With practice anything gets better.

If its certain things people say to you that make you blush, you could agree and amplify or pressure flip (turn it back on them). Usually with women i a&a and pressure flip (and change the subject) with guys.

oldredder · 2016-02-19T11:33:23+00:00

learn not to. Feel less emotions if that's what's triggering it.

chootey · 2016-02-19T05:38:47+00:00

I used to blush all of the time. It was so bad that my face would turn purple and people would ask if I was ok. I rarely blush now. I have a lot of work to do in terms of self-improvement, but this is one thing I've mostly gotten over.

Getting over blushing is one of those paradoxes: you will only stop blushing when you don't care about blushing.

Its kind of like how you only get over anxiety when you don't care about looking nervous or making a fool of yourself. Or like how women will only be into you when you're not really into them.

So don't worry about stopping your blushing. You can't. The more you think about it, the more you will blush. In fact, its your thoughts and anxiety about blushing which are causing you to blush (unless there's some physiological reason, like you have lupus or you're obese).

You need to focus not on stopping blushing but on getting to the point where you don't care about blushing.

The way to do this is to break the thought process which causes you to blush. If you're anything like I was, your thinking probably goes something like this:

My cheeks feel hot -> Oh no, I'm blushing -> Shit, this is embarrassing -> I look like such a fool -> Everyone can see that I'm blushing -> My face is really burning now, its probably bright red -> [for you] This is an instant loss of frame

Everything after the initial thought is a self-harming thought pattern that just contributes to your blushing. You need to be able to acknowledge the first thought ("I'm blushing") without falling into the self-defeating thought patterns ("This makes people think I'm a loser"). You do this by challenging your automatic thoughts ("Most people don't care if I'm blushing," "My face may feel hot but it may not even be red for all I know," "I don't think less of men when they blush, so they likely feel the same").

Look into CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). By using those techniques, you can eventually break out of this pattern.

The truth is, if you appear otherwise confident, no one really takes note of a little blushing. Think about Prince Harry, Bill Clinton, or Donald Trump - there faces are pretty pinkish sometimes, but no one ever thinks they're blushing. If they do, they attribute it to anger or passion or something of the sort.

theimmortalmortal · 2016-02-18T11:50:06+00:00

Alpha's do not blush. It reveals weakness.

Title	Blushing. Any advice?
Author	rustcohleofporn
Upvotes	7
Comments	15
Date	February 18, 2016 11:01 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/46e92y/blushing_any_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/blushing-any-advice.160928 https://theredarchive.com/post/160928

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