Building Resilience, Not crumbling with massive social pressure and shit tests?

herpes_delivery_man · 2015-04-06T14:52:51+00:00

Cut them out of your life.

IrrevocablePrivilege · 2015-04-06T03:01:03+00:00

Honestly sounds like if your "confidence" can be eroded in moments by some people joking with you, then that's no confidence at all. You've got to take that shit in stride and not them get to you. They want to make you lose composure. Don't let them have that.

floppymammarygland · 2015-04-06T03:00:49+00:00

Distance yourself from them or "big-time" them with personal insults heavy enough to silence their bullshit.

frequentlywrong · 2015-04-06T05:39:56+00:00

Take up martial arts. Mma or brazillian jiu jitsu. An in-shape guy who knows how to fight is never at the bottom of the pecking order.

stoicgorilla · 2015-04-06T02:41:07+00:00

Sounds like crabs in a pot... http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crab_mentality

RPthrowaway123 · 2015-04-06T02:51:08+00:00

Yeah I've had "friends" like these before. You have to get rid of them or grow your confidence in their absence until they can't bring you down anymore.

masterrod · 2015-04-06T04:57:11+00:00

A few of my old 'Friends' started to purposefully blow me out and make me lose my confidence.

You are letting them do this.. Don't let them.

They know what buttons to push - leading to my confident to evaporated for the remainder of the night.

You are in control of you. You simply have to manage your reactions. Over time it will get better.

In other words, I am at the bottom of the pecking order (with this OLD social group, and these few individuals). With my newer friends this isn't really an issue.

This will always be the case in some situations. Managing your reactions is the key.

These people unconsciously find it unacceptable that I behave in a high status manor and do whatever they can to bring me down

Let them do what they want you, you can't control them.

benzamtrp · 2015-04-06T09:35:19+00:00

I say don't cut them out quite yet. Use it as a good learning ground to build your confidence. Analyse after the night which of the buttons they pushed, and think how you'll handle it next time.

SPARTA127 · 2015-04-06T13:09:39+00:00

The only person who can affect how you feel is you. You should be thanking these people. They are showing you your weaknesses. They are showing you where the holes in your armor are. They are making you better. Next time they jab a joke about when they saw your mom naked or how it's cute that your trying to talk to a girl you'll know it's coming and it won't have an effect.

Razor-back · 2015-04-06T13:45:04+00:00

Agree & amplify!

stealthcreeper · 2015-04-06T21:13:51+00:00

How is your body?

Fat? reason: obvious Skinny? reason: weak Muscular? reason: they are not real friends

FrameWalker · 2015-04-08T15:20:24+00:00

What kinds of people are they? Alpha, quality folks? If so they just want you to agree and amplify back. Are they ordinary or losers? If they are low value people cut them off

Title	Building Resilience, Not crumbling with massive social pressure and shit tests?
Author	SelfEvolved3
Upvotes	13
Comments	20
Date	April 6, 2015 1:30 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/31kw7c/building_resilience_not_crumbling_with_massive/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/building-resilience-not-crumbling-with-massive.147679 https://theredarchive.com/post/147679

Comments