Caught LTR in a lie. Did I overreact?

princepeanutbutter · 2016-03-04T06:18:11+00:00

It can warrant a hard next, sure. Thing with these ex issues is, you never know, and really anything outside ignoring/blocking him is not acceptable. She gets brownie points for telling you but even that could have been a shit test.

She didn't do anything off the charts wrong but I've been in enough of these situations that I'd have given up after four months.

The most important thing is you don't handle it like a bitch, like don't throw a tantrum just matter of factly get her out of your house. The most you can do now is soft next with demotion to plate, this big of a fight 4 months in has doomed the relationship and you already made your choice.

Coolbeans024ptf · 2016-03-04T03:43:34+00:00

It doesn't really matter, what you communicated loud and clear is that you have zero tolerance for bullshit and you are more than willing to next her. It makes you off the charts attractive, she will make herself with available for you anytime for years to come and if you allow her back she will give you vip treatment for a long time. Or she is now your alpha widow.

oldredder · 2016-03-04T06:07:03+00:00

depends on your risk tolerance. My prior experience is a girl contacting her ex IS having sex with him or plans to. Always.

Ricardo2991 · 2016-03-04T00:58:25+00:00

Hard next or demotion to plate status.

From my experience, if a woman is lying about contact with a guy, she is hiding a lot more than something "mundane".

AtlRP · 2016-03-04T17:11:14+00:00

everybody lies multiple times a day to you including your own mother so if your trying to find someone who will never lie to you, forget relationships and just plate. "i didn't reply" can to her mean I didn't engage him in a convo, i said something, but it was just to shut him down so it doesn't really matter - in which case she would be correct.

you should have checked to see if she was being legit. if she was being legit, you can see into her true nature. if it's good, great. if not, fuck her. you blew it here by passing up that opportunity.

girls who are fucking around on you aren't treating you well. it's never just cheating as the red flag, it's several before that. she's not gaslighting you here.

abdada · 2016-03-04T00:56:37+00:00

I never judge a non-marital relationship on their habits outside of how she treats me every time.

Every girlfriend is still a plate. If she manages my needs 100%, she can have 50 Chads on the side and I don't care. If she fails me, she's out even if she's truly monogamous.

I'll replace someone who fails me in less than an hour.

How is she handling your needs? Is she failing you and you're looking for a reason to next her?

youcantdenythat · 2016-03-04T01:10:52+00:00

I'm not sure I understand how she lied? She said in the morning she didn't reply. But later on she did reply? How is that lying?

blacwidonsfw · 2016-03-04T02:12:38+00:00

I would not tolerate a lie. No matter how innocent her response was, she purposely deceived you and that's a slippery slope. Move on.

fluviant · 2016-03-05T03:02:23+00:00

You need to read up on LTR Game. With LTRs, you need to be the authoritarian, not the laid-back Lothario.

You overreacted, but it's better to be too bold than not enough. Your issue here is that you are operating on covert contracts. You need to establish hard and fast rules -- delete/block all male contacts in her phone who aren't regular work/professional acquaintances.

Title	Caught LTR in a lie. Did I overreact?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	0
Comments	33
Date	March 4, 2016 12:52 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/48uz0r/caught_ltr_in_a_lie_did_i_overreact/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/caught-ltr-in-a-lie-did-i-overreact.186711 https://theredarchive.com/post/186711

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