Dealing with insecurity with first high SMV LTR

Schhwing · 2021-01-24T23:30:51+00:00

Meaning she's about an 8

If you want to take a girl off the pedestal look at her mother. This is something my dad taught me growing up. Most girl's mothers are an old haggard version of themselves. Now imagine that is what she's going to start to look like in however many years she's away from 30. If she's 25, that means she only has 5 good years left. Would you invest in something for a lifetime that only has 5 good years left?

When you see her with her makeup off this will further destroy the illusion of her SMV. Then imagine her shitting and stinking up the bathroom (a tip from RSD Julien).

When you take a good long look at her you're going to realize that it's you that is the prize.

In the animal kingdom the male is almost always the more beautiful of the species.

Jacked5parrow · 2021-01-24T23:50:23+00:00

Real simple; 3 things

1.) take her off the pedestal and put yourself up there. She’s an accessory to you, not your identity

2.) you have boundaries, stick to those but be reasonable because yeab, you’ll come off as insecure. Example, my girl gets similar attention. I have no control over the dudes and what they do, I have no reason to fight them but that’s just the dating world. We all just tryna eat, HOWEVER. It’s not about what the orbiter does but how the girl handles it. My girl tested me early, told her hey, my concerns aren’t with them, it’s with you. I expect you to handle it appropriately. Every now and then I’ll do my research. Trust your girl but always verify.

3.) it’s just your turn. How long your turn is comes down to you, manage your bitch accordingly and you should have a long turn full of fun and fucking

pyth0ns · 2021-01-24T23:26:01+00:00

Question for you... Why are you afraid?

Why is the defeatist mentality coursing through you?

2021-01-24T23:52:12+00:00

She’s not yours, it’s just your turn.

She’s not yours.

You have a hardcore case of oneitis. Be okay with losing her. Accept that she doesn’t belong to you.

Enjoy the ride.

She’s not yours.

longjeep2005 · 2021-01-24T23:30:48+00:00

It’s good that you realize you shouldn’t call her out. What qualities does she bring to your table other than being hot? If you truly trust her, you shouldn’t be worried. But be honest with yourself whether you trust her not to fuck around

mustardplug1 · 2021-01-25T05:17:41+00:00

She is the exact same as a 5 or 6.

Just better looking

DS_1900 · 2021-01-25T04:44:43+00:00

Why is she talking to orbiters if she is in a LTR with you? Know your value, ditching the orbiters is a pre-requisite to getting into an LTR with a high status man such as yourself. If she can't do that then she remains a plate and you keep lifting until your SMV far outstrips hers.

2021-01-25T02:43:18+00:00

If you guys in an actual relationship, you can let her know to drop those guys.

tropicislandexplorer · 2021-01-25T02:32:08+00:00

Do you love her? Then trust her. Love like you've never been hurt!

Lol, just kidding. The prevailing sentiment on TRP is to try to stop caring so much. Then when the worst happens(and in my experience 100% of relationships go down in flames) it won't destroy your whole world. You'll just "meh, life's hard" and move on with life.

This attitude also has the added bonus of making women want you more, so there's that as well.

Tone-Soggy · 2021-01-25T01:06:00+00:00

Dude, what you’re feeling is normal. But your asking the wrong question.

Would your life end if she was out of your life? Could you not get a new girlfriend? All your questions are operating on the assumption she is out of your league and it would be a bad thing if she left you.

This is the problem with TRP- it is trying to fix a problem but doesn’t go for the roots. You should be working on the fact that you would care if she left and the fact that you are valuing her above yourself. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to keep your partner or being sad if they leave. But it seems you are giving too much of your self worth to her.

You need to work on outcome indifference and abundance mindset.

Gtrplyr3838 · 2021-01-24T23:48:25+00:00

I don’t care how hot they are. If you put them on a pedestal, you will fail. Just be yourself and let it happen. Like another poster said, look at her mother...this hotness is short-lived. The wall is looming and you are investing in a diminishing asset.

pukima_sial · 2021-01-25T06:04:07+00:00

It's good that she's getting some attention from others. This means you have don't have to deal with the bullshit and more time to focus on yourself.

daddydropfeet · 2021-01-25T05:55:58+00:00

say it matter of factly "y'know, I could never take a girl "like that" seriously (one who has a bunch of male orbiters she engages with)". If she disengages (demonstrably) she's in your frame, if she doesn't - you're a comfortable backup.

Look up apex mindset on youtubes on managing.

Other than that, your oneitis will kill you - unplug fast, line up your own "orbiters" (plates) ASAP

jfchomie · 2021-01-25T02:55:01+00:00

Stop focusing on her and just do your thing. If she cheats that's her problem not yours, you break up and onto the next one. Don't beg or do dumb shit and own your actions, that way she'll respect you and will lower the chance of her cheating

btt069 · 2021-01-25T02:32:19+00:00

it seems your own SMV is way lower and she accepted you so that she could have options and keep you as the moon and others as just orbiters.

if you can mentally demote her to a plate and improve your SMV to match her level or above then you have a chance after 1 2 months, otherwise, you are investing too much on her knowing that she talks to other male who are competing constantly to get her.

prsAtwice2doabarlrol · 2021-01-24T23:25:05+00:00

Be weary of advice that is going to come. 50+% of guys that are going to give harsh/rude/condescending advice more than Likely haven’t been layed in months or dated anyone above a 5. Just a disclaimer.

Internet-Top · 2021-01-25T01:02:51+00:00

To have the girl you should be willing to lose her, don't shoot yourself in the foot. There're million of 8's in the world. Also, she's not yours, it's just your turn.

NexusReflexX · 2021-01-25T01:04:46+00:00

Be the one who tests her.

Title	Dealing with insecurity with first high SMV LTR
Author	kahlslever
Upvotes	8
Comments	22
Date	January 24, 2021 11:19 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/l4abac/dealing_with_insecurity_with_first_high_smv_ltr/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/dealing-with-insecurity-with-first-high-smv-ltr.742939 https://theredarchive.com/post/742939

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