Dread game gone terribly wrong (Need advice on my next move)

favours_of_the_moon · 2014-11-06T21:46:30+00:00

Sounds like she didn't deserve the dread game, if what you're saying is true. You don't need to do that to her if she's not being a bitch or shit testing/mind raping you.

Be cool man.

forgeror · 2014-11-06T21:42:04+00:00

I'll tell you what. She seems like the sort not to put up with games. Dread game is for the women that needs to be gamed.

It seems like you do like her. So if you do want to keep her around, just be frank, tell her that, yes, you were testing her, that you admire her sense of no bullshit and exclusivity requirements. And that's exactly what you expect from her as well.

Your eyes won't wander and in return you don't want her eyes to. (Assuming you really do want an LTR with her).

Dont lose frame. Good luck.

favours_of_the_moon · 2014-11-06T22:15:07+00:00

Text her back something like:

YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU DIDN'T DESERVE THAT.

Then, be cool.

TDCRedPill · 2014-11-07T00:25:57+00:00

she's everything I'm looking for in a LTR, she's sweet, intellectually stimulating, ambitious and with a very low partner count (1 ex LTR) I decided to practice dread game

WHY?!?!?!?

No, seriously, why? It doesn't sound like you were trying to correct any problems in the relationship. You took her out and kicked her in the jimmies for, as far as I can tell, no damn reason, except 'practice'. Fuck that.

You got dread. Congrats. You made it very clear that you will be a strong, flirty man who could walk away from her without a twitch.

FFS, if someone is good to you, be fucking good to them. You don't hurt the people you want to keep in your life.

If you fuck it up, give her my username. She sounds amazing.

bicepsblastingstud · 2014-11-06T21:38:43+00:00

(nothing too obvious)

For some reason, I don't believe you.

If you EVER pull off that crap with the waitress and disrespect me in public again

For what it's worth, I somewhat agree with your girlfriend. Openly flirting with another woman in front of her, especially if this is uncommon behavior for you, would be disrespectful to her if you did it wrong.

You mentioned you were out with other couples. It seems likely that either

1) one of the other women mentioned something to your girlfriend and embarrassed her, or

2) your girlfriend is worried that one of the other women noticed you flirting

Remember, social status is everything to women. Your girlfriend is freaking out about the idea of her social group thinking that she can't hold down a man:

This is an exclusive relationship and you should treat it that way. If you find that this arrangement doesn't suit you and you feel like you should still be living the single life,

Now. That said. She's feeling insecure:

I have no time in my life for boys looking for approval from barely legal girls with breasts spilling out their shirts.

and a little disrespected, but that does not excuse this bullshit:

I repeat, if you ever even hint that you will cheat on me again, I will grab a random man from the street, take him up to your apartment, let him fuck me senseless, I'll even let him sodomize me and I will record every moment of that encounter and send it to everyone on your email list.

So, what to do?

First, do not have this discussion over text message. I wouldn't reply at all right now, but if you feel so compelled, something like "We'll discuss this later." would work.

When you discuss this with her, there are several things you need to do.

First, hold your fucking frame like a champion. Don't let her freak you out, and don't put her on the defensive by being mad. Pretend you're her father for a second. If your daughter started crying and said she hated you, would you start screaming at her? No, you would be calm, but disciplinary. Your feelings might be hurt, but you still need to be the adult and be firm.

That is your frame going in.

Second, flip the pressure. Instead of letting her attack you about flirting, you need to tell her that while hey, you understand she was upset, it is unacceptable to say the kind of things she was saying. You are disappointed by how low she immediately stooped, and you thought she was better than that. You know she's normally a sweetheart, and you're willing to accept that she was just upset. Still, that kind of behavior is not appropriate in the future.

If she brings up the flirting, remind her that you promised to be faithful to her, and that as long as you two are in a relationship, you will remain so.

Then, if she's still mad, walk away and let her come back to you.

spoetnick · 2014-11-06T21:36:04+00:00

Why would you be pulling the dread game? Was she losing interest or something? If she's a plate you can do this all you likie since you are not invested. If you say you like this girl for a LTR why would you take this risk? I don't condone the way she responded but I can relate to why she would be pissed.

Now what she is saying is pretty much bullshit. She says she's not one of those bitchy girls but she proceeds by being a big fucking bitch.

At this point she has you in a pinch. She stated that she is ready to leave if you don't do as she tells you to, and worse.

Normally I would've said to next her. A other thread i read today convinced me it's better to make her fall in line and in love with you and then next her.

So, first. Don't have this conversation unless it's face to face. Meet up with her and tell her a things while being calm and polite. Like she's been a good girl, you had a lovely time and you like her very much. Maybe even let her know that hitting on the waitress while she was sitting next to you wasn't the smartest move at the time (don't apologize, just tell her you made a mistake).

Let her know that if she has a problem with how you behave she can make it known and you will talk to her about it like a rational human being. Make sure that she knows her threats have no effect. If she leaves you, that's ok. If she wants to get sodomized by a total stranger, but it on tape and let everyone know she's a slut. That's ok, just ask for a copy.

Respond to all the shit tests like normal, be a steady rock in her shitstorm of emotions and help her with her self a steam issues. Let her be angry, take it all in. Let her cry, don't comfort her. Let her think about what she said and what that says about her. Don't even fuck her until she is sorry and tells you that she is. Demand respect.

Just be prepared to leave her. She thinks you have the better end of a deal and she's being generous by letting be her bf.

If you use her just for sex like you replied on the comment from /u/R4F1 feel free to walk away if she doesn't give in. If you really value her for when she's not a psycho-bitch you might get back on top with time, energy and effort.

Good luck with this one pal.

tymet · 2014-11-07T02:23:17+00:00

Sounds like you went too far with your dread game. The problem was probably more in your body language when you were flirting with the waitress than what you actually said. If you have very aloof and casual body language and just joke around and act friendly, your girlfriend would've found it attractive. You must have made it seem too obvious that you were trying to piss her of

if you ever even hint that you will cheat on me again, I will grab a random man from the street, take him up to your apartment, let him fuck me senseless, I'll even let him sodomize me

Talk about being in the right place at the right time. I'd love to be that guy. Seriously though, she sounds kind of crazy. Like she would actually let someone fuck her ass just to get back at you. If she has such a casual attitude to being sodomised by strangers, makes you wonder what her sexual history is really like

R4F1 · 2014-11-06T21:20:22+00:00

It didn't go wrong, it went totally right. Now you know she's not LTR material, just plate material. Eat that lunch, when its all done, throw the plate in the trash because its made of plastic.

If she was said "I'd leave you and find someone better" that would make sense, but to say "I'll find some random bloke and fuck him senseless"... Yeah, she's a plate and extremely childish.

tombreck2 · 2014-11-06T22:13:24+00:00

H: I am only going to say this once because it's harsh but you have to know it. If you give me love, respect and understanding, I will make your life heaven on earth. If you EVER pull off that crap with the waitress and disrespect me in public again, I will make your life a living hell.

H: I repeat, if you ever even hint that you will cheat on me again, I will grab a random man from the street, take him up to your apartment, let him fuck me senseless, I'll even let him sodomize me and I will record every moment of that encounter and send it to everyone on your email list.

This girl sounds like a psycho. Next

FrameWalker · 2014-11-06T21:25:31+00:00

Tread cautiously.

Misteralcala · 2014-11-06T23:27:23+00:00

MAJOR SHIT TEST. Not that you did anything wrong, mind you, and you should not have to apologize. That being said, you should apologize for offending her. A little dread is a good thing, but it sounds like it might not be necessary with her, although her texts do concern me.

She seemed awfully quick to threaten fucking a random guy in your bed, so you need to be extremely cautious of her. She might be an Alpha female and she might seek to beta-fy you over the course of the relationship. HOLD THAT FRAME LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT - because it does. Don't take shit from this woman, because she sounds like the type to push a man to his limits. Don't be afraid to walk if things get dicey - remember abundance mentality - plenty more where she came from. Good luck.

TheThingsIThink · 2014-11-06T21:47:23+00:00

How did you flirt? the inappropriateness of her response is proportional to how hard you were flirting.

She is trying to lock you down. She is attentive to the fact the waitress responded well. You can not let her misbehave like this though, she will do it time and time again.

Title	Dread game gone terribly wrong (Need advice on my next move)
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	0
Comments	20
Date	November 6, 2014 9:06 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2ligar/dread_game_gone_terribly_wrong_need_advice_on_my/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/dread-game-gone-terribly-wrong-need-advice-on-my.193515 https://theredarchive.com/post/193515

Comments

For some reason, I don't believe you.