If you ever doubted having a father is important, let me reassure you. We lost him in April in a relatively sudden fashion. As JP suggested I was the rock that took care of everything and comforted everyone, something even harder in these corona times. I was and still am there for my mother. I immediately quit my old job because I hated it and I was lucky enough to find something that's much better for me. I am currently living a live I can't complain about.

The more time passes the more lost I feel without my dad. When Khabib collapsed after defeating Gaethje, crying uncontrollably about the loss of his father earlier this year it really struck me. Without our dads we are just little, helpless boys. My dad gave me everything. He guided me in this dark world. He was my role model. I was made in his image. In a way, I am him.

I'm lamenting the time with him that I lost. Not having spent more time together. Not being more grateful for everything he has done for me, my mother and my brother. I feel unprotected and without guidance, now that he's gone. I look to the sky and ask: "What would you make of this world today, father? What would you do?"

He appears in my dreams and comforts me. Tells me it's gonna be alright. Looks at what I'm doing and says he's proud of me. Shares with me his view of things. Then I wake up and he's gone.