Getting older makes me have a scarcity mindset. Looking for ideas to cover this.

red_philosopher · 2020-09-26T14:27:52+00:00

You won't be too old until you are at least 45-50.

I'm around your age and have had plenty of women beg to start a family with me.

adeptintact · 2020-09-26T18:17:59+00:00

I was in a similar situation and actually did remarry and have a second child. Also in my late 30s.

However, it wasn't my second goal to have a second family like you. I would have been fine not remarrying or having another kid. I had to vet my current wife and at all steps, she was the one chasing me, wanting it more than me.

If that is your current goal, it'll show and make you look desperate. A few tips from a red pill perspective:

Keep your SMV as high as possible. Even if you have a child, if your SMV is high enough, girls won't care.
Don't be with a woman with a child and cuckold yourself. Don't be the stepdad. It's ok for her to be the stepmom but not you. Choose a younger girl in her late 20s.
Follow the 16 Commandments of Poon as a guide when dating. Live it. Let the girl do all the chasing.
You are not too old. Change your mindset to you are the prize and your confidence will show. Remember decent single girls about to hit the wall at 30 years old will be desperate to marry and have kids. As long as your SMV is high, you shouldn't have a problem.
Finally, be totally sure on the next girl you decide to marry. Don't do it just because you want another family. Do it because she feels right in your gut to be your next wife. You don't want a repeat of your divorce.

INNASKILLZ2K18 · 2020-09-27T03:48:35+00:00

'I am red pilled for three years'

'I live in scarcity in desperate need for marriage'.

Bro, you're still blue.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2020-09-27T05:22:12+00:00

I need ideas on how to handle my scarcity mindset.

Become the Prize

-Master your life. Become the Prize.

You Never Stop Competing

-Life is About the Struggle. Here's What You Need to Know to Win.

Approach Anxiety: Faint Heart Never Fucked Fair Lady

-Because Really, Faint Heart Never Fucked Fair Lady.

Abundance Mentality - Why It's Good For You.

-If You Really Want To Know, Go And Build It.

Uncle Vasya’s Guide to Outcome Independence or Welcome to Level 99 DGAF

-How to Rock Out With Your Cock Out.

I feel an existential dread.

You are suffering from what the Germans refer to as Torschlusspanik - the fear of diminishing options as one gets older.

Solution: stop being a pussy.

I'm 37 yo at the moment

LOL, you're just a baby. Plenty of time left for you.

I am scared that I don't have a girl for a suitable LTR at the moment

So go meet girls.

I'm scared that it will take me at least 2 years until I get to the whole kids and family part (finding a girl, vetting, etc.).

It will.

You seem to be "scared" a lot.

Therefore, I make stupid dating mistakes - I feel that I'm in a rush so I don't vet properly and choose poorly, causing lots of drama and no stable LTR.

^ These are excellent reasons not to rush.

Its like having a family/kid is the only thing that will validate me.

Why? Plus you already have 1 kid.

Note I'm RP for about three years now.

Maybe you've been reading TRP that long, but you need some work, bro'.

Any ideas on how not to be needy, nor rushing, nor scared that my time is running out. OR maybe I should just accept I AM too old?

You are not "too old." You lack abundance so you are worried. Stop worrying about shit. Control the things you can control. Get in good shape, develop yourself as a person, become the best version of yourself you can be.

Also, for what you want, you are going to need to enlist some young puss, see the below:

Older Men, Younger Women: How & When It Can Work

-For Older Men who prefer Younger Women, and vice versa.

Older Men, Younger Women, Part II

-More Fun With Younger Women.

For Online Daters, Women Peak at 18 While Men Peak at 50, Study Finds.

-Even More Fun With Younger Women.

Good luck.

jxb24 · 2020-09-26T18:52:09+00:00

Eh, I know of guys who didn’t have their first kid until 50-51, granted the mom was younger, but still, it’s fine

kdsflyfree · 2020-09-26T19:22:52+00:00

37 is not old. If your SMV is high enough women will chase you regardless of age.

daproest1 · 2020-09-26T23:34:11+00:00

That’s a rough one. I’m 32 and feel the same way after a prior failed LTR. I don’t want kids though. Everybody talks about SMV this and that, but they don’t factor in the quality of the women. Early to mid 20s women are the best ones. And they get harder to get (and put up with) the older you are.

alex_de_tampa · 2020-09-26T22:45:20+00:00

Men age like wine if we take care of ourselves. You can have kids at 70. It’s not natural for a man to want to settle down considering there is no amazing woman ready for that role standing in front of you.

RedEyeBlackEye1 · 2020-09-27T03:11:50+00:00

SIGNIFICANT SELF IMPROVEMENT

Title	Getting older makes me have a scarcity mindset. Looking for ideas to cover this.
Author	neuromancerBG
Upvotes	11
Comments	17
Date	September 26, 2020 2:25 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/j06xgw/getting_older_makes_me_have_a_scarcity_mindset/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/getting-older-makes-me-have-a-scarcity-mindset.268645 https://theredarchive.com/post/268645

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