Gf says we seem distant lately.

Platos_slow_brother · 2017-04-06T13:27:28+00:00

"I am focused on getting my life squared away. Now let's go see that movie I have been waiting for....after we have wild monkey sex."

walawalawa · 2017-04-06T13:25:59+00:00

"We live together...." "1.5 years" of dating.

It's not about you doing your own thing....if she respected you and supported you, that wouldn't bother her.

Something is going on. Not saying "bye"---that's harsh. Mine did that...I ignored her for a week, then texted "wtf".

That suddenly surfaced whatever pent up, made up emotional nonsense was on her already warped mind.

Living together is tough....it's hard to soft-next...instilling dread by leaving for a few days is difficult logistically...

Also by living together there's very little competitive anxiety or dread for her...life becomes...predictable. So she starts to leave on trips....starts to chat with the barista she met...he's funny...and then you're slowly being emasculated.

Start developing a health sense of self by working on yourself. Start gaming other girls....she'll notice the changes and wonder what's up.

Relationships are counter-intuitive. She seems distant---you instantly want to FIX the situation...you're panicking....you don't have an abundance mentality and you're invested (living together).

Chill...relax...if she's tree-branching, there's little you can do other than to throw her stuff onto the sidewalk and change the locks.

Or just one day disappear. Monitor the situation...all the while working on yourself, develop some dread and competitive anxiety for her before it's too late.

red-dead-erection · 2017-04-06T13:28:46+00:00

I went through the exact same thing. She is trying to branch swing or break it off but can't. So basically what she is going to do is reframe it so that it's not her fault she doesn't want to be with you anymore, it's your fault for being distant and weird. The next step is that everything she used to like about you will start to bother her and pretty soon you will become the "bad guy." Things are just "weird" now.

Hopefully I'm wrong and it's just a comfort test but watch out for future red flags and gas-lighting. Your next step is simple. Just do whatever it is you are doing. Either she's already made up her mind and is trying to erase history or this is just something that will go away on its own. Either way be prepared.

the-bum-hammer · 2017-04-06T15:14:54+00:00

Gf says we seem distant lately.... and the only reason she cheated is because she thought I was going to.

Yes. That's how it tends to play out.

RPShitlord · 2017-04-06T13:55:34+00:00

Living together is as good as being married in women's minds. She expects the wife treatment.

Don't have a live in GF.

IBeMadToo · 2017-04-06T15:41:56+00:00

Comfort test! Just be fun (A&A her statements "Are you upset with me?" "Yeah, upset you still have clothes on"), act like it's nothing, go caveman on her and go about your day. Read Married Man Sex Life Primer by Athol Kay - still has decent wisdom even if not married or in LTR tbh.

BestSC86 · 2017-04-06T18:17:28+00:00

Why didn't you say goodbye?

Sounds like you are being passive aggressive to show your independence from the deep relationship you have gotten yourself entangled.....

You are past the point with this relationship to where you start acting like a disinterested roommate who just shares the house, that she starts doing all sorts of crap for you.

I suspect if you continue to be just a self-absorbed apartment sharer, that you will find her impaled on another more interested dude's dick very soon.

Sevenby5andahalf · 2017-04-06T13:35:26+00:00

Set up a situation where you play her out for anal then afterwards, get up and say you're going to the bathroom to clean up but actually lock the bathroom door from the inside and sneak out the bathroom window. Have your things packed in advance and have a new place lined up. Delete and block her on everything and ghost until she comes crawling back on your terms.

Title	Gf says we seem distant lately.
Author	Sevenby5andahalf
Upvotes	1
Comments	15
Date	April 6, 2017 1:12 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/63stsg/gf_says_we_seem_distant_lately/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/gf-says-we-seem-distant-lately.89036 https://theredarchive.com/post/89036

Comments