Her heart is breaking

cmiovino · 2015-04-06T21:25:54+00:00

I'd like to commend you for standing your ground and not giving into something you don't seem to want. Also, props on holding frame through the ordeal.

I'd also like to say good going on giving her a hug and consoling her when she was feeling like shit. I see many many hardcore people on here just being complete assholes, really using and abusing girls.

I think what you did in total was a good mix of what I first stated, but still being a kind human being. On the heart breaking topic, it's hard, but you'll have to accept that operating with an alpha mindset is going to bring girls close to you, wanting a relationship. It's part of the package and some can't understand that it's not for a relationship.

Just as we have to swallow the pill, that is theirs to swallow. If it's any help, remember that there are plenty of other guys out there willing to be in a relationship with her at first glance, giving into her every want and need. Although it feels bad for you right now, she'll either get over it and be back with you, or move on and have to deal with finding another that surpasses yourself... which honestly, sometimes is really hard for a girl.

spoetnick · 2015-04-06T21:29:58+00:00

It's normal and it's human. It shows you have empathy and can relate to what she is feeling.

You didn't act on those emotions because you choose to be a rational male. You didn't want to go exclusive with her, you told her that. Lying to her would cause more damage in the long run and might even be against a (few) personal belief(s).

It's not that alpha males are without emotion, they just don't act on them. Getting hurt like this in order to do what is right for you makes you a man. Even the chick will respect your honesty to a certain degree.

The fact that she wanted to be exclusive with you means that she probably saw you as a reliable partner. The fact you told her you'd be around if she changed her mind will definitely give her something to think about. Depending on her state of mind and your SMV she might actually come back without demanding exclusivity.

Of course the entire sobbing and heart breaking thing can be an act, if the chick is like that. Which she probably is under certain circumstances because AWALT. But for this story it doesn't matter. Whether her emotions were real or fake, you didn't let those guide you in your choice. You kept frame and did what you had to do.

I'm curious about what a RP master has to say about this.

PowerAndPride · 2015-04-06T21:21:19+00:00

Presuming you haven't given her any reason to think you guys would be exclusive, you shouldn't blame yourself for how she feels.

It sucks that her heart is breaking but it's not your fault she is so attached to you. Just like you have personal issues that you don't force other people to deal with, her irrational attachment to you is her issue, that she needs to deal with.

like_a_ghost · 2015-04-06T21:35:35+00:00

"Better to break her heart than to let her break yours"..... After years of failed relationships, sadly this is the stance I've begun to take. It happens one way or the other every time. I still struggle with it and often times wonder if the pain I've cause and the pain that I've felt is even worth it. Such is life.

vandaalen · 2015-04-06T22:19:06+00:00

There is actually another option available in general. Emotional commitment is much more important to women than sexual commitment. There is a reason many women are willing to share a man whom they consider to be high value with other women sexually.

In many marriages the man is having some side pussy and his wife knows or at least tolerates it under certain premises, which ultimately lead to the two most important points: She never has to explain to somebody else why she would allow her husband to have sex with other women and there is no emotional investment at all.

If she would have to explain to other people, her social value would decrease dramatically and she would loose face. If there is emotional investment she risks loosing or having to share her and her offsprings part of your ressources, protection and energy to that woman or even to a possible offspring with that woman.

As a man you are perfectly capable of two types of love: sexual and altruistic. What's even more important is that you are able to give one without the other, as you and your example display perfectly.

I actually think that might have been a comfort-test by her. You didn't write what and why exactly wouldn't work out with this woman, so I don't know if you would have wanted to pass this test and what a scenario you would want to live would look like.

If we assume for a moment, that you would be interested in having her as a main plate, who enjoys more from you than just your cock, you could have explained to her what I just wrote, certainly re-worded, and told her that she gets what all these other women do not get. That she is special and the others are just what they are: toys for your amusement. And so on. You get the idea.

If not however, you will have to live with breaking their hearts. Just make you sure that you leave them a little bit better than they were when you met them.

Title	Her heart is breaking
Author	LivingUnplugged
Upvotes	6
Comments	10
Date	April 6, 2015 9:04 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/31o76o/her_heart_is_breaking/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/her-heart-is-breaking.147694 https://theredarchive.com/post/147694

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