How do I become "alpha" despite being an innate introvert?

mrpoopistan · 2018-09-03T02:45:40+00:00

Strike up conversations with everyone, all the time. Practice it. Make it a simple thing you do.

If you go to the store and the cashier is a little chattier than normal, find a thread of conversation and pull at it. FTR, this isn't about fucking the cashier. Can be guy or girl, young or old, attractive or hideous.

In fact, the more you practice on people you don't want to fuck, the better. That will make your conversational flow more outcome-independent because conversation will be just one more thing you do, like tying your shoes or brushing your teeth.

As you improve, you'll find that conversation becomes a reflex. If you're standing in line and hear something that piques your interest, say something. If nothing is happening and no one is talking, break the silence.

Becoming the person who initiates conversations is a massive form of social proof. As you get to know more people by conversation, make a point to introduce people you talk to to each other. People eat that shit up because they don't want to be the first to speak or introduce themselves, and they value the person who can walk point and get things going.

Throwaway-242424 · 2018-09-03T02:26:33+00:00

Lift weights, groom yourself, and dress well.

This is the difference between "strong, silent, mysterious" and "weird, quiet, autistic".

Morphs_ · 2018-09-03T06:12:16+00:00

Watch your energy levels. Being an introvert does NOT mean shy, unable to talk, etc. It just means we also need our time alone to think and work on ourselves. I'm like that too and I generally dislike smalltalk at parties. I like a conversation that is about something, not this eternal scripted "how are the kids?"-bs.

So what do I mean with watching your energy levels? Our social energy is limited. When I'm charged I can be the light at the party, but that's not always the case. Find out what charges you so you can use that energy to work on striking up conversations with people.

NoFap can be an effective one in this if you haven't tried it.

AsianWater · 2018-09-03T02:32:39+00:00

Social interaction is a must learn skill even if your are introverted. You can't hide behind your screen all day. Learn the skill. It would drain energy but it's worth it

Whisper · 2018-09-03T07:15:14+00:00

You don't know what an introvert is.

This is not introversion. This is fear of social encounters brought on by poor social skills.

StinkyDiaper · 2018-09-03T03:15:34+00:00

Simple; just be very high SMV.

You can boil all TRP advice down to this: look good af and say very little.

[deleted] · 2018-09-03T10:12:26+00:00

It's not about "becoming alpha". It's about taking small steps towards your goals and never stopping on your way. Define a goal, then research the best way to achieve it and then start taking small steps towards it.

This will make your confidence grow and one day you will realize that you have the power to create. By your actions you create yourself and your environment and by consciously altering your own perception of the world you create your own reality. You will see all the other people around you as fellow creators who by their actions and perceptions create their own world. None better than you and none worse but sometimes in rivalry to each other.

This will give you the power to see yourself as who you are. Because every traveler needs to know the starting point of his journey. You decide the route, you decide where you go, where you stop and what to see along the way. But you have to know from where you start.

You are not your starting point. The day you die you will be the sum of all your travels throughout live. The day you truly realize this your insecurities will vanish. Not completely and not totally because convincing takes time. Even convincing yourself of something that you know to be true. Because for too long you thought yourself to be the starting point when indeed you are the sum of your journey in the hour of your death.

dulkemaru51 · 2018-09-03T01:28:50+00:00

Watch the movie "Mongol - The Rise of Genghis Khan". Others might recommend the movie "Drive", the protagonist just doesn't convince me, at all, maybe because it's Ryan Gosling.

HIJKelemenoP · 2018-09-03T08:46:00+00:00

TRP side bar.

abudun79 · 2018-09-03T09:12:05+00:00

Let's ignore that you don't know what alpha and introvert means.

What did you try to overcome your problems? How did it go? What did you struggle with? How did people react?

ghosts_of_me · 2018-09-03T04:06:12+00:00

Introverts dont exist, it's a made up word. Stop labeling yourself something with a negative connotation and placeboing your brain into thinking its shy. You just havent gained enough experience socializing to be comfortable in all situations. Now get the fuck out there and spend more time with people.

yahyasafe7 · 2018-09-03T08:01:33+00:00

Take this from a Psychology student: humans are naturally extroverted. Giving a psychological jargon to a twisted state of affairs like "introversion" doesn't make it natural nor does it legitimize it. So there is nothing such as "innate introvert". That's absolute bullshit.

Because you shut yourself in for the past couple of years, you became so used to loneliness and it became really hard for you to do something as simple as fucking talking to someone.

Because you're a man, I'm not gonna be soft on you. Man the fuck up and stop this bullshit. Had introversion been something "innate" as you call it, humans wouldn't have survived this far. We're extroverted by nature. Survival depends on us communicating with other people, whether intimately, initiating conflicts, giving orders...etc.

So shut the fuck up, cut the bullshit of "innate extroversion" and work on getting the fuck out of your shell.

Attend social events whenever you can, initiate conversations with strangers, let go, get loose, have fun, man.

Chadster113 · 2018-09-03T03:44:04+00:00

Frame

Rollo_Mayhem3 · 2018-09-03T07:04:21+00:00

Courage to talk and make mistakes, we are in the same boat.

[deleted] · 2018-09-03T09:14:05+00:00

The best approach I've found is the two pronged one : Inner and outer.
1) Max out your smv, build skills, use affirmations if you believe in them.

2) Go out and practice your skill.
Take it one step at a time.
Start out with something small like asking someone where the bathroom is.
Move on to a situational line (eg. Today is hot, I love this kind of music, whatever).
Then move on to a full conversation, once the guy seems into it or the girl gives you IOIs exfil (Wait, you might say, why would I want to exfil if the conv is going well ? Pretty much for two reasons : 1st, knowing that you have to do just a simple conv will make it easier to approach, second, it builds anticipation).
Next I would recommend practicing playfullness / teasing.
This is where frame is CRUCIAL, if the other guy/girl gets the impression that you are actually taking shot at him/her it might bomb the interaction. The key point is here is to try to have a good time and enjoy yourself. Everything else should follow. Don't worry, you'll get pretty good at this with some practice.

Now you could move on to the basic seddit comfort stuff, but tbh that's more than enough to build your social muscles. Go have fun bro.

P.S. If you do have a solid social circle that makes thing a lot easier. Just learn and practice on them. Furthermore, people you get introduced to from your Social Circle will perceive you as ''pre-vetted'' making them more responsive.

Since1991 · 2018-09-03T10:50:16+00:00

Your presence and how you take up space and carry yourself says a lot more than you think.

bbm72 · 2018-09-03T12:59:19+00:00

There's something to be said for the phrase "quiet confidence".

I recommend that you push yourself to practice initiating conversations. At first, get comfortable with it with no other intention than being able to hold your own - volleying back and forth as people do when conversing.

And then allow yourself to have some time to recharge - be it by slipping away for a drink, check your phone, go to the bathroom, step out for fresh air ... catch your breath, see how you were able to do, see what went well and what could have gone better. Note that you did it and the world didn't end. Note that you are capable.

Introversion is about recharging, not about inadequacy. Look at it that way. It is not a weakness.

throwawayflatwhite · 2018-09-03T16:47:06+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/82bl4g/an_introverts_guide_to_becoming_social/

healthyteacher4 · 2018-09-03T05:31:26+00:00

Bro, you are just Mario before getting a mushroom. So go get the mushroom (via constant practice in real life), and then upgrade to a Tanooki suit.

throwabcdaway2 · 2018-09-03T12:37:51+00:00

You could be a lone wolf. Last time i went to a party i literally talked to 4 persons in addition of my friend and banged the hottest chick. Practice being the best version of yourself and finding cool people you can connect well with at parties. A lot of "alpha extroverts" and anoyying wannabes. Most guys ive met (at least 4 come to mind) who banged hot chicks non stop were super stealth. A lot of "alphas extrovert" only bang trashy girls. Your call

SapperChimo · 2018-09-03T08:05:12+00:00

Join the Army. They will instill that confidence and ability to overcome any fear. I was deeply introverted and had high social anxiety. Now, when I walk in the room everyone knows I'm there. Men show me respect and women react positively and want to talk to me. Its not my natural state and has become how I behave in public. In private I am still a quiet introvet and enjoy being alone for extended periods.

Title	How do I become "alpha" despite being an innate introvert?
Author	kiKnee
Upvotes	36
Comments	49
Date	September 3, 2018 1:15 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/9ch8hp/how_do_i_become_alpha_despite_being_an_innate/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-i-become-alpha-despite-being-an-innate.912 https://theredarchive.com/post/912

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