How do I proceed?

bicepsblastingstud · 2014-07-29T19:18:05+00:00

Like u/karmasutur3 said, we need more detail.

That said...

There's a difference between "dominant" and controlling. Being dominant is about leading; providing purpose and direction to people. Taking charge, but letting people do their thing. An example would be saying "Hey, I need the kitchen cleaned, you work on that while I go do the garage," and nothing more.

Being controlling generally corresponds with micromanaging. You don't need to tell your wife what to wear, you just say "put on something nice, we're going to that Japanese restaurant I've wanted to try."

TheDarkTriad · 2014-07-29T19:19:49+00:00

[permanently deleted]

vandaalen · 2014-07-29T19:32:02+00:00

Yep More examples could be helping a lot.

If I had to take ashot in the dark I would guess that you maybe didn't really fully grasp the concept of an alpha mindset and frame.

You want to appear to be in control and not to be controlling.

Changing other people's perception of you will also take some more time than one week. Especially if they belong to your family and moreso if it is your woman.

You will have to give her time to adjust to your new self. I guess this will also not go without a little drama then and now.

She has come to know you in one way and now all of a sudden you change into a different type of behaviour. That will create some dissonance and you will also have to proove your new status I believe. So be prepared for some shit testing.

In fact the statement you provided could also be one of those. I'd brush it of with a simple "Do you think so?" or something like that. Simply like I do not really care.

Keep in mind though that you aren't opponents. You're simply the captain and she's the mate. This means you still make your decisions together, but you've simply got the last word as it's your responsibility when the ship wrecks.

Edit: Have you read evretyhing in the sidebar at /r/theredpill regarding relationships? There is also some valuable stuff for marriages over at http://therationalmale.com/.

Johnny10toes · 2014-07-29T22:30:07+00:00

I ignore.

Her: I don't like you telling me what to do.
Me: •_•

As long as she's doing what I say then there's no problem.

[deleted] · 2014-07-29T23:14:59+00:00

Think about this:

I have one boss who gives out micromanaging orders to do tasks with no explanation as to why and he doesn't know any of our names. People think he's a dick (but the wiser workers know it's for the best since he's the most experienced).

The other boss gives out directions but makes the utility of the tasks very clear. People love that boss. They feel more a sense of ownership to the task, they know why they should be doing it, and they trust this person in command much more.

She'll need time to understand that you know best what needs to be done, why and how.

Misteralcala · 2014-07-30T06:54:56+00:00

She may feel threatened that her ability to do whatever the fuck she wants is now in jeopardy since you've taken your nuts out of her purse. You need to reward her positive behavior and willingness to comply with your wishes. Just as you have to learn to lead, you have to teach her to follow.

A good way to do this is by complimenting her work, thanking her for helping and telling others how awesome she is when she's in earshot. Positive reinforce the good behavior.

Title	How do I proceed?
Author	TheDarkTriad
Upvotes	0
Comments	11
Date	July 29, 2014 6:57 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2c2gb7/how_do_i_proceed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-i-proceed.141019 https://theredarchive.com/post/141019

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