I've realized I have a strong case of it with one girl. I've met and fucked other girls since her. But my brain still seems to think she's "the one" even though objectively she has no good traits (all she does is watch Netflix during the daytime and get drunk at night). My brain somehow skews things and convinces me it's her great personality or something (she is pretty hot i'll give you that)... I don't know. What I do know, however, is that this is not true even though it feels completely true.

I've been orbiting around this girl so long it's not even funny. I'm sick of it. She's fucked me a few times in 2 years, but keeps me around to help her out with her HW and take her out to dinner while she goes out with other guys.

After giving in to the beta act of asking her what she was doing tomorrow (fucking cringe, why the fuck did I do that) and her giving me a one word response, I've snapped. Today I start my journey of leaving behind my beta tendencies.

What can I do tonight to start my journey? I'm willing to go out solo.

Thanks for all the advice. I went out and although I doubt they'll answer my texts, I got several beautiful girl's numbers. Kissed a girl too. And met a lot more people. It was a good night and I'm starting to feel the oneitis fading already. This "fuck it" moment was all I needed. Going out alone is a good medicine to get used to being out of your comfort zone.

As you all predicted, yes, she's tried to contact me since I stopped orbiting her. I decided going completely silent was a bit immature and showing that I cared too much, so I just responded like she was any old person and said I was busy when she asked to see me.