How do I start loving myself?

smartstarfish · 2019-04-04T08:42:30+00:00

What works best for me is just not being a dick to myself.

Give yourself credit for doing things that are hard for you, and reward yourself to help build those brain connection.

For me it could be something like, “I don’t want to work” but I decided I’d reward myself for going to work by picking up food for myself. It makes the job easier.

Another example, “I’m too anxious to talk to that girl”. I’ll tell myself, “okay if you do it. You can go get a coffee”.

Even if fear tries to hold me back and I strike out with the girl I’ll still win because I get a coffee.

These are just examples specific to me. Everyone is in a different place financially, intellectually, physically, socially, musically, ANY CRITERIA.

As I find where understand where my personal limits are I’m able to push myself and “‘forgive’ or ‘understand’” where I’m at and not beat myself up for not being “there” yet.

redhawkes · 2019-04-04T09:05:46+00:00

Codependency. You seek mommy.

Get busy with the sidebar in the next 6 months.

You put your value and happiness on something external, this is failure 101 even before you start.

FederalAnxiety · 2019-04-04T08:32:46+00:00

Did you have a troubled childhood? Sounds like some pretty deep rooted issues. I'd see a therapist personally if you feel that bad.

Whisper · 2019-04-04T11:32:09+00:00

First of all, you spit out this blue pill crap about "loving yourself", and buying love with shows of affection (works for women, won't work for you), and you go accomplish something.

Don't love yourself.

Be proud of yourself.

Yashugan00 · 2019-04-04T11:12:39+00:00

You're seeking external approval/ validation. you'll never be happy that way. btw: this is girl behaviour: get your T tested and join a gym yesterday. you'll see your own process and start to value yourself for your accomplishments

Bruchibre · 2019-04-04T09:41:53+00:00

It's like loving your car, "it's bit the best car, but this one is mine".

teabagabeartrap · 2019-04-04T13:13:37+00:00

first thing is to don't lie to yourself.

Be true to yourself in regards of your values.

It doesn't matter, what is common reason or what you learned as a child. You have some values. Be aware of them. You don't have to like them, but you need to be aware of them.

Second is to accept yourself. Again you don't have to be proud of what you see, but you need to be honest with it and accept, that it is, like it is. And it is OK to be like this at the moment. You can work towards something better slowly... but not right now. right now you have what you have and with that you can work.

Good luck.

I recommend meditation to find out truth about those 2 things as a start.

[deleted] · 2019-04-04T18:29:36+00:00

You start to love yourself when you start doing things you're proud to say you did.

HenricusKunrath · 2019-04-04T20:21:30+00:00

Understand narcissism and all its manifestations. I am much like you. This was my affliction. Found it, healed it, better now.

Read all you can by Sam Vaknin.

Project_Zero_Betas · 2019-04-04T21:10:15+00:00

Start making geopolitical/economic predictions more accurate than 99.999999999999999999999999999999% of the population. You'll fall in love with yourself at unprecedented speed.

campa56la · 2019-04-05T06:57:31+00:00

Sex is primal it’s not emotional bro.

throwawaychuck100 · 2019-04-04T08:23:27+00:00

It has to come from within you. No one here can give you advice on how to stop doing that you just have to cut it out. It’s a change in mindset.

empatheticapathetic · 2019-04-04T09:47:37+00:00

Sounds similar to me.

Kommanderdude · 2019-04-04T17:47:53+00:00

Beat the old ham bone.

BurnoutRS · 2019-04-04T13:10:48+00:00

I have everything I need, but....

so then you dont have everything you need. You identify that you dont have self love. Does that mean you lack the ability to love yourself? Or does it mean you lack a self worth loving?

If you were to receive, in an equal or greater amount, a return on the love and affection you show these women... would it truly make you happy? Or would you feel empty, realizing that what you are seeking is an unconditional love. A love that persists regardless of whether you are sick, well, have your life put together, or are a mess?

Title	How do I start loving myself?
Author	Ayethrowwybruv
Upvotes	8
Comments	29
Date	April 4, 2019 8:15 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/b9a1nt/how_do_i_start_loving_myself/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-i-start-loving-myself.224293 https://theredarchive.com/post/224293

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