How to not go into "flight" response when confronting someone?

mrust · 2017-03-24T23:34:52+00:00

This is like overcoming any fear. Exposure in small doses may help; you don't even have to do it in the same domain. Realising that it's all in your head. Ask yourself: what's the worst that can happen?

I used to be very scared of dogs and confrontations, as you wrote. I've been told a German sheppard attacked me when I was very young, but I never remembered it.

But last few years the fear just went away. I can remember I'd always freeze in the past, but now I am just asking myself - why is this dog being so silly barking at me? You can use the same strategy in a confrontation. I had a south african guy get in my face and tell me I had to leave the bar last week.. It didn't even phase me.

Awareness of your mortality can also help, as well as living in the moment.

Specific to confrontations, use humor to defuse the situation. If you confront someone by attacking their identity that has a much higher chance of blowing up and your fight or flight response may actually be appropriate.

SkimSTi · 2017-03-24T20:28:29+00:00

i feel you man.. i have been dealing with this problem while handling my girl. when she explains her feelings and it turns into something that makes it confronting, my go to is flight... but remember, as humans, we are conditioned to do one of two things... fight back.. or flight. so don't be too hard on yourself.

like others said, just need to practice. the fact you made yourself aware of whats happening is already a huge step. ive been like that my entire life (33 year old) and in wasnt until the recent 6 months of my life i realized id run and shut down to avoid situations.

i think your ego was conditioned to just take over. the only way to get over the hump is to accept that your mind is tricking you and let your guard down. as soon as your a bit more vulnerable, we can condition that people will agree or disagree, and at the end of the day, it is only their opinion. you don't have to fight/argue/or run. its all in our head dude.

TheRedStoic · 2017-03-24T20:36:13+00:00

Conditioning is built on exposure to causes.

So expose yourself to the situation that makes you uncomfortable, as much as you can handle. To to handle a little more each time, escape when you need to. Eventually you'll have built up the tolerance and maybe even be able to revel in it.

tonyduc367 · 2017-03-25T03:57:03+00:00

Protoze jsi zakomplexovany cechacek a nemas zadne sebevedomi a nebo jsi sebevedomy hubeny jak paratka.

jupc · 2017-03-25T03:57:06+00:00

The flight or fight response comes to our biology from millions of years of natural selection, during which hominids were predated by leopards, cougars, tigers, chimps, eagles, and other predators. The anxiousness we have continues strongly in the modern world, because our ancestors who were not anxious were eaten.

In the modern world, with its many interactions and stimuli, we need to retrain the brain to reduce our anxiety. Start telling yourself the confrontation is not a life threatening tiger. Nor is the online disagreement a cougar. (This retraining will never be fully complete, because some of its triggers are from non-conscious centers of the brain).

quicklogaccount · 2017-03-24T20:09:57+00:00

Practice man.

youcantdenythat · 2017-03-24T20:12:40+00:00

Practice... you can learn from physical fights such as martial arts, or from social training such as toastmasters or other public speaking training.

Title	How to not go into "flight" response when confronting someone?
Author	username-Czechs-out
Upvotes	3
Comments	10
Date	March 24, 2017 7:52 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/61b80w/how_to_not_go_into_flight_response_when/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-not-go-into-flight-response-when.88275 https://theredarchive.com/post/88275

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