How To Start Actually Caring About Yourself and SMV?

AFPJ · 2016-04-29T15:04:46+00:00

TL;DR Today doesn't seem important until you realize that your entire life is just a string of todays.

I just don't seem to care about myself at all.

Wrong. You do care about yourself, but there's no shortage of research out there that for most, especially those afflicted by procrastination, your brain sees your future self as a stranger - it doesn't register as "you".

Articles like this and this one and this and this one can be marginally helpful, but the real issue is that your brain is failing to connect your present actions with your future consequences. Here's my recent comment on the subject:

Your actions in relation to where you are now are irrelevant, worry about where they'll lead you.

Nothing is going to change if you eat bad and don't lift today. That's the lie people tell themselves, forgetting that all we ever have is today. And then 365 "todays" later, a lot of things start changing. All because you wait for tomorrow.

Furthermore, this is an insidious issue - the only one I've ever felt was worth posting about. (read it). In a nutshell, whenever you get the urge to perform an action, visualize the consequences of that action times 365.

At a bar buying a $7 drink? Congrats, you just threw away $2,555.
Averaging $50 for going out every friday night? That's $2,600 in a year.
Eating out 2-3x a week for ~$15 each? That's $1,560 to $2,340 per year.
Overeating by as few as 300 calories a day? That's 2.5Lbs monthly fat gain.

Let's take some more drastic examples. You work minimum wage, let's say you spend 20 to 60 hours finding a job that paid $6 to $12 more per hour - you just earned from $208 (6x2080/60) per hour to $1248 (12x2080/20) per hour in that time, attenuated over the next year - and since raises generally stack on top of each other, it's in your best interest to get them as often as possible. A $12/hr increase over 5 years is a whopping $124,800 more - and since your future raises will be built off of your current pay rate, that's not in the least an unrealistic assumption.

abdada · 2016-04-29T15:02:45+00:00

You need to see progress.

Go take a photo of yourself almost naked. Put it in a folder on a PC and date the file today. Then do this every Friday, never skip a beat.

Step 2 is you need to start eating more. You're 21, you can make mad crazy "newb" gains in 1 year of lifting with a bulk. Go for adding 2 pounds a month to your caloric excess. Eating this much food will be difficult, at first you have to force it down. Stop eating crap, just eat the weightlifting magic foods like chicken breast, green veggies, rice, etc.

Pick a weight lifting program that's well designed for newbs. I love Stronglifts 5x5 for 12-24 weeks as long as you go 3 times a week to the gym. 30 minute sessions. Just focus on those lifts for the next 3-6 months. And eat at an excessive, if you're not gaining 2# a month, eat more. It's ok to gain 3 or 4# a month, you need mass, you need it now.

For social stuff, go and join a shitty basement band. Find one on Craigslist. Doesn't matter what you do, just join one. Even some crappy electro-house band where you dress like clowns or unicorns.

For work stuff, go and get a job as a barback or a bouncer at a crappy dive bar. If you can't find a job, keep looking. If no one hires you, make a second round of all the bars within 45 minutes of where you live. Work 2 or 3 bars if they'll bring you on, offer to work when others call in sick or cancel.

There 3 steps together will actually build you a social life and show you how red pill works. You will see guys at the gym, guys in the band, and guys at the bar slaying. Watch those guys. Ignore everyone else.

After 6 months, import all 24 photos you took of yourself mostly naked into any free "photo morphing" program app online, and watch the transformation.

Train33 · 2016-04-29T15:10:07+00:00

Throw out your computer, throw out your video games. Or sell.

Put yourself in a position where you HAVE to do something or else you'll die of boredom.

detachedbymarriage · 2016-04-29T17:28:25+00:00

You are wondering aimlessly into no where.

I am going to suggest something is not always favored by others but you are young.

Look into joining the military. It will teach you the confidence you are missing, give you a substantial improvement to income, making life long friends, force no fap during boot camp, and force the exercise you can not stick too.

Only those of us who are or have been in the military understand this.

[deleted] · 2016-04-29T20:25:03+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Docbear64 · 2016-04-29T15:49:00+00:00

My question to you would be why have you wasted your time here if you just want to read about getting better instead of getting better? You put lots of hours i presume into reading how to be a better man , clearly that was spurred by some idea of being a better man that you desired internally, and now you're saying you just don't care that much for yourself? Then why do any of it?

Surfincloud9 · 2016-04-29T15:01:09+00:00

You know what you need to do. Just do it. You have no excuses. Start applying to better jobs, work out and eat more, get tinder and meet some people to be friends, etc. You can read all the self help books in the world, but they won't do shit for you unless you mentally and physically do it.

The answer is to just have some willpower for once. That is really it. It may be hard at the start but it gets easier as the time goes on. Consistency is key to everything. No secret to improving yourself. Get to work.

7Fig · 2016-04-29T16:55:14+00:00

You don't have goals, makes some and keep track of your progress. Don't miss your goals. The goals will drive your daily activities = you will progress.

redpillat40 · 2016-04-29T17:03:08+00:00

What do you value? What are your goals? Until you adjust your values and work towards your goals you aren't going to change anything.

You choose short term gratification. Sitting at home and jerking to porn is just easier for you. Until you realize that you want more out of life, that is all you are going to do.

theimmortalmortal · 2016-04-29T17:46:08+00:00

Self image is everything. The way you project yourself to others and the way they see you is entirely different

theimmortalmortal · 2016-04-29T17:49:49+00:00

Also, if you want to improve you will. If you don't, maybe invest in some psilocybin mushrooms that can really wake you up.

randarrow · 2016-04-30T01:52:06+00:00

Check out if meetup.com is active in your area.

21, and are you in school? Go to clubs at your school. If not going to school, go. Attent one community college class and get access to the clubs.

Start eating dude. Just do it right.

meh613 · 2016-04-30T04:41:48+00:00

I am ashamed to say that I have not made any progress with myself. The only thing that I have managed to do is stop biting my nails this whole time.

That's progress. Maybe not as much as you'd like, but it is and don't beat yourself up over it. It only goes up from here.

ag_nuke · 2016-04-30T07:26:29+00:00

How do you start caring?

Is this motherfucker asking us for real how to start caring about himself?

Simple: START CARING.

My main gripe with this post is that deep down OP already knows he either cares or he doesn't there's no force that will magically make him snap to it. This post is just a attention-whoring lament about his condition.

Guess what. We don't care either. You're the only one that is supposed to care. Get on it NOW. Not how, or what book should i read.

topredhat · 2016-05-20T21:39:49+00:00

Try hitting the gym.

Title	How To Start Actually Caring About Yourself and SMV?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	37
Comments	25
Date	April 29, 2016 2:54 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4gzqp8/how_to_start_actually_caring_about_yourself_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-start-actually-caring-about-yourself-and.204 https://theredarchive.com/post/204

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