Three months ago a few friends and I rented a condo for a week in OCMD, as did many other recently graduated high schoolers from the mid atlantic ("senior week" basically a week of non-stop partying). A girl I had been talking to for a few weeks told me she was coming down as well.

I invited her over to my place on the second or third night to pre game before heading out to some parties. We took a few shots and went to a party, where we talked for a while and I told her I had more drinks at my place if she wanted to come back. Now, as far as I know, all she had was a couple shots earlier and a beer at the party we were at. She bragged about not being a "lightweight" whereas this was my first few times drinking, so I was already close to having drank too much. I had a few more beers when we came back (I gave her one but she didn't touch it). What I remember was we started hooking up and she told me she was a virgin and I told her that we didn't have to do that tonight. After 15 or so minutes of making out where she made the first move, oral etc. she told me to get a condom. I asked her a few times if she was really ok with it before finally going through with it.

After we finish I remember she talked to her mom on the phone and she said her friend wanted her to come back to their condo. I helped her get her things and walked her down back to the bus stop. The next day I heard from mutual friends that she'd been crying all day, so I texted her to ask if everything was ok. She said she wasn't mad at me, that she was just disappointed with herself. I asked to see her in person and she agreed, and she basically repeated the same thing about just feeling bad about "her mistake." I felt terrible about it but thought the ordeal was over until a few days later I hear from my friend that she was telling people I raped her (at this point she had told her friends and word got out quickly). She was saying that she had blacked out and that I didn't have anything to drink. She stopped answering my texts and calls so I gave up on trying to communicate with her. Soon enough a lot of people were asking me about it, and all I could do was deny and try not to talk about it. Throughout the summer I lost a lot of close friends who stopped talking to me and inviting me to events.

Now I'm going to a large in-state college which she is also attending, and trying to connect with some high school friends to feel more comfortable with the social scene. I only have one good friend left who's trying to help me out and believes it was a drunk hookup, but it's useless trying to talk to people from high school as I get obvious cold shoulders from almost all of them. Just last night he told me about one of my old friends who lives in his dorm that asked about me. It's making me feel depressed and hesitant to socialize, let alone trying to hook up with another girl. I already battled mild social anxiety in high school, and with this experience it's making a return. I mean, did I actually rape her? Is a hookup where both parties are mutually intoxicated considered rape? I feel lost and angry, I have no idea where to go from here and I need advice.