This girl and I dated last winter. She went back to school and we broke it off, didn't talk for awhile.
Summer comes, she's free and we start talking. Usually just snapchats and some light texting, sometimes she calls.
Some nights when she's drunk she calls me asking me to "get here right now" etc etc. I've told her once to cut it out and it's stopped. I'd rather not be her emotional rag and I have explicitly told her that.
She came back to town (I live about an hour away) to visit with me a week ago but refused to get sexual. We made out some and afterward she was very affectionate, but still refusing to escalate to anything sexual. The lack of sexuality seemed to me to be a red flag considering this winter she was all over me.
My orbiter alarm really went off when I re-read past texts from this spring onward and saw all the times she had cancelled on plans she "was sure she could make". I feel like she's "coming back" and if I keep trying we could get some of what we had this last winter - I realize this is classic orbiter logic.
We have been planning to go hiking in her town one of these upcoming weekends and instead I'm thinking about ghosting her, should I? Or should I go through with the plans, keep up the minimal effort and try one last time to be sexual?
If it makes any difference I usually don't initiate any of our interactions over the phone, usually she initiates.
Also should note that I have been seeing other girls this entire year, I have a few plates and am always trying to meet new girls and date them. I will admit I do want this girl though - some one-itis going on for sure.
[–]1thebaldbear 29 points30 points31 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[–]BeakersandBarbells [recovered] (9 children) | Copy Link
Some of me wants to chalk up what happened last time as my own lack of sexuality when she visited. I want to think another chance with this hiking thing might be enough - especially if I stay the night beforehand and operate with a much stronger sexual frame.
Is this just pride talking?
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I really like that analogy. And just to tease that idea just a little further, is it never correct to delve too deeply in the "horizontal" direction with a TRP mindset?
I understand with abundance mentality that the likely answer is no, but I still want to think some girl some day may be worth investing in more than the typical girl, is that beta?
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I don't say this to puff our my chest but we did sleep together when we dated last winter, just to clarify.
I get that feeling too with other girls - they're never the right one, just the one for the time being. Kind of depressing to think with the state of dating and our generation that its likely going to be that way for a long while.
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I agree, I'm also thinking I should make a play before this weekend even rolls around.
I'm planning on calling her tomorrow to figure out the details of the trip and I'm thinking I should be overtly sexual on the call. Thoughts?
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