I was overt about hooking up, and it worked. Is there a principle I’m missing here or did I just get lucky? (text conversation included)

DochreanSepp · 2018-07-26T21:05:14+00:00

She is gonna flake again.

Geoff_M · 2018-07-26T21:31:46+00:00

You lose frame each time she changes plans when you go along with it. I get she's busy but if you set something up and she flakes...hit her with dread, tell her that no, blah blah does not work. My opinion, soft next her until she reaches out.

A girl who wants to fuck you....will fuck you. You are supplicating her b.s.

Regain frame, display prize mentality and put her in time out so to speak.

7Fig · 2018-07-26T21:32:07+00:00

The hard truth is if you were her Chad she'd be down to meet anywhere. Her elusive behavior says your a pinch hitter at best. This whole situation is low energy, high effort. On to the next my friend.

DubbleFUPAwitCheez · 2018-07-26T20:42:41+00:00

Did you fuck her yet? If not then it didn't work, yet.

Anyway, I would say that she is attracted enough and her life is in fact hectic enough that she recognized it as if she said no then you were basically gone.

Wrath_of_Trump · 2018-07-26T23:31:54+00:00

"Don't give up on me", that's exactly what you should do.

O--- · 2018-07-26T20:22:20+00:00

"What's yo addy" really now?

ShotgunTRP · 2018-07-27T02:25:19+00:00

NEVER call a girl you’re gaming gorgeous

Only compliment attractiveness after you’ve drilled her brains out.

Rookie mistake.

Chad1738 · 2018-07-27T02:30:05+00:00

“Gorgeous” barfs Breakfast?? barfs again Wtf, are you her gay best friend.

Invite her over to you place for some drinks and a movie and then bang her brains out. She has minimum interest in you because it’s tinder, so make the minimum effort to hang out. You look pathetic and like you have no options (even though you say you do) when you just agree to everything she has to say. Set a concrete plan, like we advice here, and anything other than a yes is a no.

redhawkes · 2018-07-26T22:04:45+00:00

Don't text her until she hits you up for logistics. As you can see, you've been put on the back burner. This should remind you that you need other options.

Also, don't do that overt shit again, the hamster does wonders and a great way to trigger ASD.

wifeisbiorgay · 2018-07-26T21:26:47+00:00

Bottom line is that being overt about hooking up works on certain kinds of girls when your SMV is considerably higher than theirs. They know they can have some fun with you and you'll never commit to them.

I have hooked up with girls where the intention of hooking up was overtly stated before we first met up. I've noticed a few things about that. The flake rate goes up a lot compared to an unspecified meetup. Also, they still won't see it as a firm commitment to do anything. Even when they are pretty committed to hooking up, they'll probably still exhibit some LMR here and there. It's just their way.

In general, it's an approach I use only in certain situations. Generally, I'll do it if a girl comes onto me very strongly and, although she isn't nearly at my SMV, I'm interested in her for one reason or another. That said, I'm not looking to sink a lot of my time into her, so I'll give her a straight-up proposal and I'm fine with her ghosting if she balks. If you do it from anywhere other than a position of power, it's worse than worthless as she could potentially convince someone else you are creepy.

In any other situation, there is very little to gain from being so overt. You might save a little time, but probably not when you consider how many you'll scare away. It will generally come off as desperate in circumstances other than the above.

phareux · 2018-07-27T00:07:09+00:00

"hey, come over" boom problem solved

[deleted] · 2018-07-27T00:33:45+00:00

it definitely works. usually you have to build some comfort though and add them on snap and send a few or get their number and call them. but telling them to just come over after that can work a lot. but, the way she keeps rescheduling and giving excuses I'd say this one's a lost cause. Keep moving on, forget about her completely. if she happens to hit you back up one day, you could tell her to come over. and if she doesn't go for it fuck it.

and just reread. most girls don't go for the "just a hookup" or a fuck shit. so frame it like it's not just a fuck. tell her to come watch movies or anything and it'll work. they know what's going to happen, just don't want to seem like a slut

11-Eleven-11 · 2018-07-27T01:31:10+00:00

Ok I see where you messed up. When you said that it was her turn to suggest a venue, that was actually a major fuck up in my opinion.

First, you should never let a girl pick the venue because they fucking suck at picking places to go.

Second, you put the pressure on the girl to make a decision while you are still closing on her. She is open to meet you and you have her sold but then wait a minute now she has to decide where to go? Is she taking you on a date or are you taking her on date.

You have to really hold on to the alpha leader mentallity. You had her sold but you messed up the closing.

What you should do in the future is always have a place in mind. The best thing to do is have a bar you like in mind. She says lets meet up at 10 and you say ok we're going to get drinks at patsy pubsies place or whatever.

Another helpful tip is to phrase the invitation in way that is almost an order. Like instead of do you want to go to '....' it would be "cool, we're going to '....' I'll pick you up at 9 text me your address"

Also even better would be to invite her along to a place 'you are already going'. For example just say I'm going to the bar around 10. Are you down?

sjdfhskdjfh · 2018-07-27T05:54:36+00:00

stop fucking responding, jesus

hiddenpleasures123 · 2018-07-27T06:42:45+00:00

How to deal with a woman that flakes: don't respond until the next day/night. Be very short with your response. Don't explain yourself, be overly understanding and definitely DO NOT reschedule.

When she says "hey something came up, can we hang out Thursday night?" You wait until the next day/night and say "no problem. text me when you're free."

If she tries to reschedule by saying "I'm free at 11 on thursday, are you? what do you want to do?" You say "Sounds good. Shoot me a text, I shouldn't be busy". Don't respond to any texts until she texts you later saying she's free. Even if she sends a flake text.( Ive ignored the flake text and had women become free all of the sudden hours later)

This makes you seem mysterious, laid back and not eager. You have to make it seem like it's a limited time offer to hang out with you, your attention is limited.

Finally when she texts she is free, you tell her where she's meeting you/you're picking her up and what time. Show up 5-10 minutes late, don't apologize or explain it. If she mentions flaking you say "yeah, a friend and I ended up watching [insert movie here] at her place. She really wanted to watch it, so it worked out".

Also, she will probably make a remark about the "friend". Just look her in the eyes and say "I don't kiss and tell".

officerkondo · 2018-07-27T01:39:49+00:00

I have never heard of a man asking, “What are you looking for on tinder?” until now.

mismm · 2018-07-27T11:19:03+00:00

Too much verbiage.

Title	I was overt about hooking up, and it worked. Is there a principle I’m missing here or did I just get lucky? (text conversation included)
Author	Ramo029
Upvotes	20
Comments	34
Date	July 26, 2018 7:52 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/925kch/i_was_overt_about_hooking_up_and_it_worked_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-was-overt-about-hooking-up-and-it-worked-is.103735 https://theredarchive.com/post/103735

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