Is it normal to hate oneitis after thinking of what she has done to me before?

LosBuratnos · 2018-04-05T12:52:45+00:00

Yeah its normal. It will pass.

Morphs_ · 2018-04-05T14:38:06+00:00

Learn to accept people and be above this stuff. Yes my ex was stupid to me too but with BPD shit going on she probably can't help it. And the fact that she's a woman. I've moved on, almost literally GFTOB since January and I'm having the time of my life.

Learned some valuable life lessons with her and now I was ready for a new and better chapter.

HannibalBacara · 2018-04-05T17:43:15+00:00

One of the paths to becoming a man is dealing with some girl ripping your heart out. Don't believe any guy who says it hasn't happened to them they're lying. And honestly it's a necessary experience in my opinion. Because it's a learning experience.

Being angry is normal. A couple years ago I broke up with an ex who disrespected me (I still can't believe the shit I put up with when I look back on it). And for a few months after the breakup I would just get angry at random times just beating myself up for being so naive and giving her so many chances. The anger phase is a real thing.

Maybe you need monk mode to try to deal with your anger, but realistically you just need to bang some hot chicks and then the feelings will pass.

Now when I look back on my time with that ex, I honestly am thankful it happened. It was terrible at the time but it really set me on a path to forging myself into a true man. I still have work to do, but I'm the happiest I've ever been, and my life has been great lately in all aspects.

Hope you push through this tough period and it works out for you.

ArticulateSavage · 2018-04-05T15:04:38+00:00

Yes.

It will pass.

cl3537 · 2018-04-05T15:30:12+00:00

Yes Anger phase is one of the phases, you are not truly over her until you reach acceptance. You will probably bargain with yourself "if i did this she wouldn't have done that" that is one of the phases as well.

KBeer01 · 2018-04-05T18:07:29+00:00

Bro you have to understand one thing - you are obsessing about shit that really doesn't matter. And I'm not denying your struggle at the moment like some Chuck Norris idiot. I'm saying you need a perspective shift.

You are going to die one day. Your ex is going to die one day. Every single person that you pass by today is going to die. Every single person that you know and love are going to die.

We all have just so much time on this Earth to struggle and learn and live and make it to the end as best we can. Something painful happened to you and you've become stuck there. But see it for what insignificance it really is - you are not that important. And again, that's not just being an asshole, just open your eyes to life and know this is ultimately true.

And immediately that should put your feelings (believe me, I know that pity party feelings all too well from earlier in my life) into perspective. Life cannot and should never be put on hold due to one thing that happened to you. You DESERVE to free yourself from that BS and go on with new things and a better future. Her actions are truly irrelevant in the greater scheme of things.

Keep your head up bro. The seconds are ticking away, make better choices.

Ricklogical · 2018-04-05T16:00:20+00:00

No contact will go a long ways.

Gaming other women will help the most.

_Ulan_ · 2018-04-05T19:24:53+00:00

Even years out of a onetis, I can say that I love her as much as I hate her. It keeps things in balance, kinda.

Just put those memories in a hole in your back garden and move on.

juliusstreicher · 2018-04-05T14:09:26+00:00

Both.

htbf · 2018-04-05T14:49:21+00:00

You can love her and forgive her and want nothing to do with her anymore, all at the same time.

Your goal know is to be able to love her without thinking about her. Meditation helps you learn to control your thoughts instead of letting them control you, but it's very hard.

Meeting new interesting girls will do that too and is much easier.

[deleted] · 2018-04-05T19:30:32+00:00

I would say yes.

When you learn that people have wasted your time generally you will resent them.

mrHappyPotatoe · 2018-04-05T20:45:17+00:00

Why waste energy on hating. You let someone exists in your head for free. Wtf dude?

When you hate then something is unresolved within you.

Kalepsis · 2018-04-06T03:31:27+00:00

Realistically: yeah.

You should make the conscious decision to not hate her though. Allowing yourself to be bitter about her actions is you yielding to her frame. Don't let her have power over you.

mrpthrowa · 2018-04-05T12:43:39+00:00

move on.

Title	Is it normal to hate oneitis after thinking of what she has done to me before?
Author	holdulikeican
Upvotes	16
Comments	15
Date	April 5, 2018 12:39 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/89zc5x/is_it_normal_to_hate_oneitis_after_thinking_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/is-it-normal-to-hate-oneitis-after-thinking-of.127248 https://theredarchive.com/post/127248

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