LTR inspecting my cellphone

Frigzy · 2017-07-24T16:51:21+00:00

TRP is great at shittest defusing. It seems that when it comes to comfort tests.. not so much.

Most of the answers (and content) here evolves around keeping a plate spinning in the most enjoyable way possible. That certainly has its merits, but a plate is not an LTR. At leas not an LTR you are serious about. You always spin plates with the knowledge that at some point, plates break.

Yes, AWALT and hypergamy most definitely are still in practice in an LTR, but at the same time, having a lasting LTR is something that can work. But it needs just that: work.

From what I can read from your post is this:

She doesn't trust you completely.
She's insecure about herself.

Obviously she's not going to stop being insecure because you tell her to do so. It's something she needs to work on. You can choose to help her with it, or you can agree and escalate. Guess which one will grant you better chances of long term success.

Same goes for the trust part. Trust is tricky. You need both parties to trust each other to the fullest extent, yet at the same time, we all know that dread works wonders. And in your case, it seems it works a bit too well. The key is to find a balance here. Yes, dread in general will be beneficial, but dread which undermines trust and plays into her existing insecurities will not keep her mentally healthy and happy.

If you're not careful, she will dive into a negative mental spiral. In fact she's slipping into it right now, she's sending you signals. The advice here so far has been: "Let her slide down mate, just fuck her as long as you can. It's her problem.". As I mentioned, that's a plate mentality. Not an LTR one.

If you really want to be in an LTR with this girl, look after her. She relies on you to help her when she's in trouble. You can't expect to only be her protector on the physical level. Just like she shouldn't expect to be your caregiver only on the physical level.

It takes two to tango and it takes two to build a lasting relationship.

It's up to you to decide whether or not to take this all seriously or not. However if you choose not to, don't expect this to last. Slowly but surely, she will feel disconnected from you and that may have consequences which can span a wide spectrum. Just don't be surprised when it happens.

chachaChad · 2017-07-24T15:17:21+00:00

You know your tits look bigger when they are closer to my face! Have fun with her. These are probably a mix of shit and comfort texts. Learn to recognize and pass them and play with her so YOU are having fun.

Also, if you think she's crossed a boundary, you need to address it. "Hey, not sure why you said that but you do know that no girlfriend of mine would snoop on my, right? Is there something you have to tell me?" Let her talk them spank her and have sex with her.

WhaleMilker · 2017-07-24T15:08:25+00:00

I'd just look at her like she just said some retarded shit and get on with my day. Or I'd just make a joke out of it.

MattyAnon · 2017-07-24T20:23:54+00:00

She claims to be unsure that I could leave her for another woman, insecure that I'll stop loving her, insecure that I'll get bored with her yada yada yada.

"Yes honey, you're right".

Maybe I'll be lucky and you can schedule me in your phone as * LTR name * big tits"

This is obviously no coincidence.

Ask her if she looked through your phone. If she says "no", just keep looking at her and say nothing at all. Most likely she'll say "why would you accuse me of that don't you trust me", as a way to deflect.

Keep asking her for a yes or no answer.

She won't give you a straight answer, but it'll tell you what you're dealing with and you might get to see the methods she uses to lie to you.

What would you do here? I really don't do things to make her feel insecure. Maybe she don't trust me enough.

Trust her less - she's spying on you.

I know that she had bad experiences in the past that made her suffer a lot, so I understand that she is afraid of a relationship again.

hahaha...... jeez, don't white knight.

EVERYONE has had bad experiences. Every guy has had awful experiences. Are we allowed to say "sorry honey, I've been used a lot for my money in the past, so as a result of this we're just going to bang and then I'm going to fuck off, it's because of how much I've previously suffered". No of course not.

Who the fuck cares if she's had the same bad experiences as everyone else. It's 90% certain you've had a harder life and worse experiences than she has had. Don't fall for the "terrible life white knight rescuing" fallacy.

She's a girl, she's betaing you, she's spying on you, she's claiming to have had a difficult life AS AN EXCUSE, and you're falling for it and providing the security she craves. DO NOT FALL FOR IT. AWALT.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2017-07-24T15:20:36+00:00

A. Password on your phone.

B. Disciplinary spanking of LTR for snooping.

Heathcliff-- · 2017-07-24T19:20:23+00:00

"It's cool I've already renamed you to "Insecure Ho". Actually do it too.

You gotta make a joke out of it. She's just testing your frame. All girls are gonna be like this... If that's really the worst she could find to niggle at then you're good.

redaftrp · 2017-07-25T15:00:25+00:00

Respond with: "I could but I think your ass is your best asset", smirk and slap aforementioned ass. Amused Mastery, provides a small level of comfort and assuages the fear of you leaving, for now. Helps if she actually has a nice ass.

Analgruppenfuher · 2017-07-24T22:16:25+00:00

Buttfuck her then go radio silent for 7-10 days, after that re-engage like nothing happened.

Title	LTR inspecting my cellphone
Author	TxnyMontana
Upvotes	8
Comments	24
Date	July 24, 2017 2:55 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/6p8vqe/ltr_inspecting_my_cellphone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/ltr-inspecting-my-cellphone.94619 https://theredarchive.com/post/94619

Comments