LTR...What do i do?

jamieoneal82 · 2014-09-15T10:36:26+00:00

Has anything else changed recently? Has her attitude or demeanor changed toward you at all? How long have you been with her?

In the mean time a few things you could do.

Next time you're with her, leave your phone in the other room and casually ask to use her phone. Find a plausible excuse, like you want to look something up online. Carefully assess her reaction. If she seems reluctant or refuses, she's probably got something to hide.
Ask her directly but casually what her emergency was about. Insist on an answer, but do it with amused mastery. Ie, with a casual grin say, "so, how'd your 'emergency thing' go?" as if you're half-jokingly implying something vague.
Ask her outright "who's so-and-so?" If she looks shocked or caught off guard, hold frame, look her in the eyes, and wait for an answer. If she gets defensive and accuses you of snooping or violating her privacy or anything, don't answer, just keep looking in to her eyes until she answers.

SkorchZang · 2014-09-15T10:35:43+00:00

What is the line between jealous / possesive and not letting myself get cuckholded / walked all over

Think of it in terms of negotiation positions. Yours are simple, you don't do it my way, you lose my exclusive commitment. Hers are simple too, she will try everything to get away with as much as she can get away with.

Do not put your foot down with any "serious" demands. This comes across as begging, treating her as an equal, being butthurt over it. All of these are offensive to women.

Instead, like a mafia don you give her to understand that you aren't thrilled with her behavior, and subtly threaten with what's going to happen if she doesn't straighten the fuck out.

The sex has been good like you said, which is a probably a good sign. She may still be playing something shady on you, but at least it's not because she's no longer attracted. It's more because she thinks she can get away with this shit.

"So... What's up, Cinderella, you back already? I was thinking I might have to go try my foot in some new shoe, if you know wha I mean babe."

"Like... what? Are you saying I'm... I don't get you..."

"You get me. Don't make it a habit if you want to stay exclusive. If you don't, friends with benefits is cool... I want you to be happy, baby...totally... and there's other chicks I could be making very happy at 3am as well."

lonGterMgoalS · 2014-09-15T10:38:42+00:00

Your girl says she needs to leave at 10pm for an emergency and you don't ask what the emergency is or offer to go with her?

It's not possessive if you show concern and are adamant about accompanying her.

Soultrane9 · 2014-09-15T10:41:26+00:00

She had a similar late night emergency two weeks ago...

And you are still with her? C'mon man... you are a moron.

1.) What is the line between jealous / possesive and not letting myself get cuckholded / walked all over

It's what you make that line. You are (supposed to be) a man. It's your line, not mine or anybody else's here.

2.) Should I put my foot down and demand an explanation

There is really not much to explain here. What the hell do you think a girl is doing late at night? Don't listen to her explanation it will be complete and utter bullshit. You are being used, manipulated and cuckholded.

And what's your plan here? To give her a chance. You WANT to let her hamster her way out of disrespect and cheating (don't kid yourself). This mindset is the cause of your situation. She is CLEARLY cheating and you still don't want to tell her to fuck off.

How do i dl this without looking jealous etc..

By holding frame. Calm voice, steady body language, zero emotional response. Do yourself a favor and boot her.

anonlymouse · 2014-09-15T11:02:02+00:00

This is where you give her the cold shoulder. Start doing things without her, don't pay attention to her.

alreadyredschool · 2014-09-15T14:24:35+00:00

Should I put my foot down and demand an explanation and if im not 100% happy with it walk?

"My way or the highway"

Sounds perfect, the top comment here also provided some nice methods of doing it without looking jealous.

kingofpoplives · 2014-09-15T19:10:53+00:00

Tonight she said she had something to take care of (sunday at 10pm) and had to go and would be back at 1am, it's now 3am and she didn't answer her phone. She had a similar late night emergency two weeks ago...

Sketchy. As. Fuck.

This girl is definitely cheating and the fact she is so brazen about it shows she has little respect for you or your mental faculties.

Just walk before she gives you an std or tries to lure you into raising some other guy's kid.

stillnoturday · 2014-09-15T10:36:08+00:00

Shut this down, honestly if she is texting another dude while she is physically with you. Even if it was an orbitor that is disrespectful as fuck, think of it this way would you text a girl infront of her?

Title	LTR...What do i do?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	9
Date	September 15, 2014 10:16 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2gg3z9/ltrwhat_do_i_do/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/ltrwhat-do-i-do.194198 https://theredarchive.com/post/194198

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