So I have pretty severe combat PTSD that I've been actively getting treatment for for 5 years. I'm still young, 26 was in the marine corps for 4 years went to Afghanistan in 2011. My main plate recently fell off and tonight I had another plate over. We fucked and she was high and wanted to watch a movie while I worked on some drawings. She's cool with it as it usual if she doesn't leave after fucking, we'll do our own things at my place.

Anyways, she starts watching southpaw (spoiler) and there's a scene where his wife gets shot and dies. It's not the shooting that bothers me, it's the next 5 minutes of watching her slowly die. I've avoided any movies or videogames that have that depicted. I've had marines slowly die in front of me, and countless afghan civilians take their last breathes while I'm trying to plug their wounds. I got really worked up and started sweating badly and ran into the bathroom. I felt like I was going to explode and I just started bawling. I don't know where it was coming from but she obviously heard me because she knocked on the door asking if I'm okay. I told her I was fine and washed up and when I came out she said she would txt me and left.

I don't want something like this to ever happen again in front of a girl and I tried desperately to hold it back. I guess I'm not looking for answers because I know I lost frame. It just feels extra worse because of my main plate recently falling off and a lack of abundance mentality since my other plate is "meh".