Oneitis I asked out won't leave me alone

mrpthrowa · 2018-01-29T11:51:03+00:00

Ignore her.

The only way for these to turn around is for her to completely capitulate without any advance on your part. By coming back to you and literally asking you out, with some form of apology thrown in.

"I'm sorry I couldn't work out the bowling last time, how about we go at X".

This is unlikely to happen, so for your own good, write her off.

Don't get drawn into anything less, e.g. "We couldn't get into bowling last time, may be we'll hang out in the future". That's more beta left over bait. Continue ignoring.

Aaren_Augustine · 2018-01-29T11:35:38+00:00

How should I proceed?

She knows you like her and has liked you as a beta orbiter. She's just turning up the beta orbiter attention to get you rotating around her again.

Block her. Its disingenuous as fuck and you don't keep people like that around you.

Metalageddon · 2018-01-29T13:02:49+00:00

She's not into you. Next.

No problem, don't be butthurt. It's women's prerogative to find support in any fashion, that's just the way most are.

It's your job to make decisions, and this one should be, "don't waste my time."

McVaghunter · 2018-01-29T12:06:52+00:00

Fuck that cunt! She just wants her orbiter back. Proceed by approaching other girls, grow a pair the same way you did with this one, better be rejected than to never ask. Make sure you look your best (level up your SMV)! It's all in the side bar.

You need to have a sexual frame, this oneitis needs to know that you have sexual needs, that she can either fuck you or fuck off. No more bowling with friends, hell, no more bowling at all, you can watch a movie at your place.

she said that would be boring

She did not even get the hint that you want to fuck her! That's how deep you are in her friendzone. Don't be one of her girlfriends, Man. This shit ends NOW. Time to improve.

Rosace_89 · 2018-01-29T14:40:19+00:00

Don't block, as to not appear butthurt

But ignore her, stop giving her any attention, hang around with others peoples and be happy with them

YasserZe · 2018-01-29T12:51:36+00:00

Hard next the selfish bitch , cut all fucking contact with her , she wants you to be her emotional tampon , this happened to me in college , l asked her out she said no , next week she had another guy wrapped around her fingers

vandaalen · 2018-01-29T13:02:53+00:00

Ignore and block everywhere

MattyAnon · 2018-01-29T18:24:45+00:00

Be socially nice, but no more.

[deleted] · 2018-01-29T15:41:21+00:00

She has almost no respect for you & enjoys having you around as a beta orbiter.

You could hard next or soft next this. If it's oneitis I always recommend hard next; block her on everything & game other girls.

chazthundergut · 2018-01-29T16:17:40+00:00

I would play it cool with her.

I'm going to go against the grain here and suggest that you not go out of your way to ignore her or give her the cold shoulder.

You started out in friendzone, and that was your fault. You were needy and unattractive.

You took a shot with her, made your intentions clear, and polarized her. This was the most attractive behavior you expressed so far.

She now sees you in a slightly different light. There is a reasonable chance she is could become interested, but she's not going to let you get in that easily. Remember, you were a beta orbiter to her, so your new behavior is incongruent

It is her job to push on your frame to see if you're actually attractive or just pretending. So she had to reject you, had to say she just wanted to be friends. She had to test you.

How you respond here is important. Did her rejection phase you? Are you going to get all salty and butthurt? Or are you going to communicate through your actions that you are 100% self-validating and grounded in your own reality?

So I recommend you definitely don't make yourself available to her to hang out and definitely don't facebook or message her.

However, if I were you, I would also certainly keep building attraction. I would interact with her when I see her in person as if her rejection had zero effect on me.

So when I see her, I give her a warm smile and a hug. I reciprocate her touching and kino. I escalate the touching. I flirt with her, I playfully tease her, I sexualize our conversations.

But I also keep our interactions short. Right when she starts vibing with me, "I gotta go" and give her a hug and leave. I leave most of her texts on read, but if she asks to hang out I tell her "I've got plans tonight"

So I give her no validation outside of when I see her in person. But when we are together, I flirt and touch and build attraction the same way I would with any other chick. Because her rejection meant nothing to me, and did not phase me in the least bit.

And of course, it goes without saying that during this time I flirt and hook up with other girls. Abundance is 100% vital.

However, you also say she's your one-itis. So if you think you'll get sucked back in to beta orbiting, or you can't handle it, it's probably best to just walk away and pursue other options.

DntPnicIGotThis · 2018-01-29T15:37:58+00:00

shes not yours it just wasn't your turn.

whatever you do don't block her or hard next her, she will think she damaged your ego. this will give her a sense of power over you and she will feed off it whether or not you communicate anymore. carry on with your day to day but just dont associate with her anymore than what is absolutely necessary. go out with other girls, increase your social status, build yourself up without her around. she will get curious and and approach when its your turn.

when she does either politely reject her, and send her hampster wheel into a tail spin, or pump and dump to get out your system.

Herdsengineers · 2018-01-29T16:00:24+00:00

I'm gonna say don't let it get you all butt hurt and angry. It's real simple, only interact with women in a way that progress what you want with them. If it's plating, LTR, etc. - keep your side of the interaction focused on your interest. Do not interact with women in a "just friends" way if you don't want to be just friends.

This doesn't mean be angry/mean/assholish to them if they are trying to suck you into beta/attention orbit. It just means don't give them attention. Be a grey rock with this girl, that is be as emotionally interesting and stimulating as a grey rock is to her. Stoic, brief, less words spoken to her, the better.

I'd not go out of my way to block her, just ignore her. Go game other girls, and be up front with them about your intentions (without being creepy/pushy).

cenie · 2018-01-29T16:05:14+00:00

Next. Like you said once the blinders come off a world of pretty girls opens up.

Crurple · 2018-01-29T19:06:35+00:00

Lots of people are saying completely ignore her but the technique of one step forward and two steps back is a proven one. Might be something to keep in mind.

kobra_trp · 2018-01-29T14:26:06+00:00

Just pretend to go along with it, I think definitely stay friends but make sure she knows you're not into her anymore.

Probably a different opinion from most, but I personally think blocking and ignoring is very immature because you're telling her you do have oneitis for her and it'll just feed her ego. It's basically like a typical nice guy, who asks her out she denies and then you get pissed about it..

Talk to other girls, flirt with other girls. Still talk to the girl you asked out but like I said, make sure she knows you have other girls in your life.

Unlucky_Leader · 2018-01-29T17:11:57+00:00

If you can't find answers here, then you are ignoring them.

youareshandy · 2018-01-29T21:12:27+00:00

If she's changed her mind and decided to date you without her friends, then I don't see a problem. That may be a sign that she has changed her view of you, but I wouldn't invest much emotional attachment to interactions with her. You did the right thing by making your intentions clear, and I would move forward with her only if they are on your terms; don't compromise. Otherwise, keep chatting up other girls. Keep it up, red pill.

deepwoodsty · 2018-01-30T00:50:23+00:00

smells like a shit test she is manipulating to you to be her orbiter

redmau17 · 2018-01-31T19:04:25+00:00

I had the same thing. I completely deleted snapchat to stop myself from messaging this girl. Within 4 days she was talking to me at school out of the blue asking me to message her.

Of course I fucked up and messaged her, but it at least proved exactly what I thought, as she is ignoring me again.

suxxos · 2018-01-29T15:37:44+00:00

Maybe she just doesn't like bowling, did you ask her? Maybe if you asked her for a different date she wouldn't mind. I would try again if I were you, she obviously is in some way interested in you, maybe as an orbiter, but maybe as a lover.

Title	Oneitis I asked out won't leave me alone
Author	TheDarkRanger
Upvotes	38
Comments	34
Date	January 29, 2018 11:25 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/7tro6k/oneitis_i_asked_out_wont_leave_me_alone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/oneitis-i-asked-out-wont-leave-me-alone.597 https://theredarchive.com/post/597

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