Hey guys. I’ve lurked on TRP for a while but this is my first post. Any feedback would be appreciated.

background on me: I'm a 20 year old male who has consistently looked 3-4 years younger than my actual age because of a baby face, being only 5'6", and being relatively thin. That said, I am fairly confident that I’m a handsome guy

The saga begins when I fell for my female best friend (A) in high school, and got friendzoned when I told her so. I was a beta kissless virgin at the time who had put A on a platinum pedestal, and fully believed the trope about "being persistent”; she had contributed to my naiveté by feeding me such tropes like "you'll find a girl and make her super happy", "you'd make a great boyfriend", etc., so I didn't let it go and basically got shamed by everybody, male and female, friends and enemies alike, for the last 2 years of high school. My grades declined and I started smoking way too much weed. To make things worse, she moved into my neighborhood, which was torment.

We went our separate ways to college and I ended up not talking to her for 2 years, which allowed me to disengage (on occasion I’d miss her, but whatever). During this time, I got out of my shell at school and lost my vcard (I was completely unaware of TRP at the time, but in hindsight I applied many RP concepts in doing so); I am doing well academically and am currently working a paid internship at a prestigious NYC law firm that will hopefully allow me to get a foot in the door after law school. My career is in pretty good shape, I think.

Well, I saw A at a 4th of July party at our state university. I was rolling face and she was drunk as shit, and we ended up catching up and agreeing that we should be friends again. “I know we’ve had some rough times in the past, but I’m happy it’s behind us,” she told me. I literally can't even describe how happy I was in that moment between the MDMA and being in her presence. I wouldn't be surprised if I never felt this happy ever again in my life. Everything I had ever loved about her made itself abundantly clear once again as I stared into her eyes during this conversation (thanks to MDMA for allowing shameless, unfettered eye contact!). My dormant oneitis had resurged.

I talked to her again over the course of the past few days, finding that she seems genuinely interested in being friends again, but now I realize I have a serious problem. I'm in love with this girl again. She's the last thing I think about when I go to sleep and the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning. I literally cannot see myself having a satisfactory relationship of any kind with another woman while I know A exists. I have the self control to not do anything stupid like send her an lovey-dovey flowery exposition on how I feel (in the past I really was this dumb/cringey), or even talk to her as much as I would like (obviously if I were to text her first often, my intentions would quickly become clear, regardless of the content of the texts), but the weight of this feeling is crushing and depressing because once again, it won't be reciprocated. I want to be friends with her—she's one of my oldest friends, probably the closest I ever had too (though that was years ago now)—but not at the expense of feeling like shit in doing so.

What do yall think I should do about this situation? I might also post on r/relationships to see how their advice differs