Oneitis

FinancialThanks1 · 2020-04-15T12:33:33+00:00

You have it because you don’t have enough experience and you’re not involved with enough women

UEMcGill · 2020-04-15T13:58:11+00:00

You are gripped by fear. Fear comes from feeling like you don't have options.

For example, dumping her now will leave me in a mess until the lockdown is over.

The way to get over this fear is two-fold. First, live in the fear. Embrace the suck and deal with it head-on. "Yep, this is going to suck, but I'll come out on the other side." If you enter into any transaction, be it a business transaction or a relationship, you should always assess it from a standpoint of 'what do I have to gain, and what do I have to lose?' Eventually, you'll get enough experience where you'll have a tool bag and can look at things from an objective standpoint. "Oh the last time this happened, I did a, b and c, and I came out about 2 months later being ok"

In the long run, the way to get past it is to become a man of abundance. We tell guys to spin plates for a reason. If a woman you are with is misbehaving, or unavailable, it's a pretty easy decision to move to the next one with a few waiting in the wings. If you are in an LTR, abundance comes from knowing you are, fit and have a high SMV, and have spun plates easily in the past. Knowing how to do this, and having the ability to do this means you can go right back to spinning plates in an instant.

Life is about gaining experience, but wisdom is using that experience to make better decisions in the future.

Huffnagle · 2020-04-15T13:15:27+00:00

That’s not really oneitis, you’re scared to take the loss. Oneitis is where you get all twisted up about that one girl.

So... What are you afraid of losing? In a nutshell, an LTR is good for 3 things, sex, companionship, and help with life (dishes, cooking, errands, etc). Sounds to me like she isn’t holding up her end in any of those categories.

FuzzCod · 2020-04-15T13:33:55+00:00

You already made a post in which she disrespects the fuck out of you. You either be a man and dump the bitch and focus on your purpose or be the beta she wants you to be.

You're just not ready for the emotional backlash, also you say you read the sidebar but you clearly haven't read how to get over a breakup. Do you really want to be in a "LTR" with someone that doesn't respect you?

319Skew · 2020-04-15T16:39:09+00:00

Having oneitus is like being pigeonhole into enjoying one dish. At first, you feel amazing that you found it. Eventually, you get bored of it. Then you forget about the past dishes you've had (if any) . Now you notice all the subtle tastes of the same dish and you feel like you appreciate it. The dish is your world.

When it's gone. You feel empty since that's all you knew. You have tricked yourself to believe that it was special, unique and you knew everything about it because it was yours.

Reality is that there are an overwhelming number new dishes. Each with numerous nuances and flavours. Some are shit. Some are amazing. The more you take that dish off it's pedestal, the more you enjoy your options and sample, the more refine your pallet becomes.

Eventually, you may come across the same dish again. It's been out for awhile and has grown stale. When you try it, it should taste awful since on your journey you've had so much more experience. You can't imagine why you ever stuck to that one dish. The idea seems ludicrous.

That's TRP. Once you see it like this you'll be happy at your options and won't ever be in love with the romance of being tied to the same meal.

AlFerjani · 2020-04-15T12:51:24+00:00

Leave her, then read the sidebar again because it seems you learnt nothing

Fabulous-Craft · 2020-04-15T14:10:00+00:00

Because you have no other options.

Go get some abundance.

It_just_got_Worse · 2020-04-15T17:48:24+00:00

That is not Oneitis. My friend was on and off with his chick and he would get depressed when they would "take a break" and say how much he cares for her and what not. Meanwhile she's out and about posting for girls night. I told him to look out for himself and his interests and he said with the utmost confidence "nah bro she ain't like, she would never cheat", "she's not that kind of girl dude". Jesus the amount of internal cringe I had at that moment and it was because a few years ago I was that guy who believed and thought that same way. Anyways they got married. To me I believe he has Oneitis, your issue sounds like fear.

hopingforclearskin · 2020-04-15T13:54:43+00:00

Better to get out now than a year later with more emotions developed.

thecarryone · 2020-04-15T16:22:05+00:00

You really should take a break from this subreddit, look all these pots it’s pathetic men...

nameisahmad · 2020-04-15T17:23:39+00:00

You have the scarcity mindset, you have to always be willing to walk away, you want freedom, and not feel imprisoned. Understand this.

Title	Oneitis
Author	depressedthrowaway3y
Upvotes	6
Comments	27
Date	April 15, 2020 12:20 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/g1qvah/oneitis/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/oneitis.653475 https://theredarchive.com/post/653475

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