Only see girlfriend on weekends. How to maintain long distance spark?

Archwinger · 2016-07-21T15:38:36+00:00

This next weekend, instead of visiting your girlfriend, I want you to hire a personal trainer and ask him how much pizza you need to eat in order to get buff. Make sure he knows that you are unwilling and unable to consume any food other than pizza.

Kenny_Twenty · 2016-07-21T15:00:13+00:00

Head over to r/relationships. That's where you'll find the fake advice you're looking for.

Arcturus_ · 2016-07-21T16:10:26+00:00

If you want red pill advice, dump her because why the fuck are you in a relationship where you have to fight uphill battles? You're making it hard on yourself for no reason. You're in uni so live the uni life. The real reality here is that she's probably going to cheat on you if she hasn't already, she isn't a snowflake, she's spending a lot of time with other dudes from class. It'll turn into the classic "one thing led to another" story where she has deniability. Just plate her and do you.

If you want the /r/relationships advice - she's definitely not cheating, so pour all of your attention into her and don't brace for any inevitable heart break because your relationship is a snowflake and will survive this. No need to lawyer up/hit the gym/delete facebook here friend.

AlfredApple · 2016-07-21T12:13:07+00:00

My advice is to end it but that's not what you came here for.

She's your gf so you need to call at least once a weekend. Keep the texts sexual and the pics regular. Keep your socials full of you having fun and innocently hanging with other girls (make sure you are being tagged and not posting content yourself though) to keep the dread strong.

The best way to keep her attracted is for her to believe you are attractive to the girls around you (pre-selection) and for her friends to see pics/hear stories about you and say how great you are to her. Oh and for her to be generally attracted to your personality and appearance in general of course but I assume you have that sorted.

Tamarin24 · 2016-07-21T13:10:58+00:00

Put extra focus onto your hobbies/responsibilities. Take this time to work on self-improvement (hitting the gym, school work, etc). There's only so much you can over the phone. However, you can show her in person that you are constantly improving.

Also I'm pretty sure TRP disagrees with long distance in general. Mostly due to the fact that maintaining attraction is difficult, but also because it's a lot of trust to put into one woman.

MeatCurtainRod · 2016-07-21T17:05:56+00:00

The 'spark' goes away. You can't prevent that. She can find a 'spark' with others. What you need to consider instead, is ways to have her consider you as a better mate over others.

ANGRY_ATHEIST · 2016-07-21T15:41:19+00:00

Ugh. The answers here look like that relationshits sub.

You need to read the sidebar dude. AWALT. You are in college. She is not a special snowflake. I've heard this story a hundred times, and 9 times out of 10 it ends with the girl meeting a new guy (while she was probably screwing around the whole time) and giving the "look /u/DarthFreud, we had a great time, it's not you, it's me" etc etc speech after you'd basically turned down dozens of other opportunities during your college years because you thought she was "the one" (oneitis).

IMHO you need to plate this girl and use her to increase your SMV via social proof and abundance mentality to attract more women. Just flat out tell her "Look, I think I love you (or whatever), but I need to see what else is out there during this time in my life just to make sure. I'd like to still stay friends though". I'd be willing to bet that while she'll probably be upset at first, she'll still come by on the weekends.

Of course, there is a chance this could "backfire" and she "turns into" a grade A slut. In that case though, wouldn't it be better to find that out now rather than in 10 years after you've had 2 kids and then you find out you still have to pay her ~~alimony~~child support even though she was caught fucking the mailman, the pool boy, and her boss?

SkorchZang · 2016-07-21T16:19:50+00:00

Stick to about 2 texts from you for every 3 from her. Three convos initiated by her, two by you.

She says: "Abcd abcd Abcd abcdAbcd abcdAbcd abcd"

you say: "Abcd abcdAbcd abcdAbcd"

Look how it's visually about 2/3 of hers. May sound anal to worry about sentence length, but it's quite important. And becomes second nature quickly.

You want a dynamic where she is the one always chasing you, she is the more interested one. When she's the one starting the texting, you get a lot more room to play with, you can indulge if you want and talk a little bit more, make her giggle, make her feel sexy, whatever you feel like. For the most part avoid starting it yourself, it makes you seem needy even when you aren't. Here's why: it will not lead to an in person meeting (and sex), both of you know it. She's the girl, she needs emotional confirmation and support from you and that's why it's fine for her to start it. But you? You shouldn't be needing any confirmations or support from her, it's unnatural for a man.

Meeting your girl 1 time a week is more than enough to keep everything going strong. When you're away from each other, be a little on the unavailable side. Instead of always responding to her inane texts promptly, tell her things like "busy baby, so looking forward to see you Sat - we talk then". Never explain what you're busy with, make it mysterious. Make her wonder about you, and miss you. Never come in with assurances or promises to alleviate this anxiety in her (that you might be spiralling out of her control), instead tend to it like it's the sacred flame on which your entire relationship with this girl depends. She doesn't need you to save her from all discomfort, she needs you to give her plenty of different emotions & this way make seeing you on the weekend the sexy highlight of her entire week.

walkingthelinux · 2016-07-21T19:12:55+00:00

You easily maintain attraction by being more attractive than the many guys she'll be allowing in every hole during the week.

Also, count the number of weekends as they go by and wear that many condoms when you fuck her.

By the time you can't feel anything she'll be ready to let you know you're out anyways.

Title	Only see girlfriend on weekends. How to maintain long distance spark?
Author	DarthFreud
Upvotes	3
Comments	13
Date	July 21, 2016 11:58 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4twlwx/only_see_girlfriend_on_weekends_how_to_maintain/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/only-see-girlfriend-on-weekends-how-to-maintain.108656 https://theredarchive.com/post/108656

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