Question about sex for Red Pilled practicing Stoics

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2020-06-23T13:36:15+00:00

Just because you have sex with someone doesn't mean they owe you anything or you owe them something you didn't agree to.

There's nothing unjust about casual sex.

absolutelynp · 2020-06-23T11:17:55+00:00

IMO its virturous. RP clearly states why to act this way for a man makes sense, you accepted this truth, so you act according to it. RP also states not to lie and pull some bs. Stoic approved IMO.

EDIT: Ask the other side, the stoic subreddit, no one will disagree I think.

DigitalDragonSlayer · 2020-06-23T16:44:09+00:00

Hey! Nice question Rayne. I’ve thought of this a bit myself.

I adopted much of the stoic philosophy in my life after reading works such as “Meditations” by Marcus Aurelius and “The Obstacle Is the Way” by Ryan Holiday.

I can appreciate the majority of the sentiment in the responses so far. It seems fairly clear that the majority of TRP says casual sex is fine and good. I’ll play devil’s advocate from a stoic perspective though.

I believe that casual sex, although obviously fun, enjoyable, and fulfilling in the sense it’s good to have access to more sex (better partners too, etc.) isn’t a compatible lifestyle with stoic philosophy.

The “more stoic” response would be to foster a healthy monogamous relationship for the betterment of your future family and society as a whole. Nuclear families create stable environments for children, and give them the best chance of succeeding in society at large. I think there are smaller stoic arguments that support the case against being casual sex but I’ll leave it be for now—I believe the reason above is the main point.

Hey...I love women, I’m not a faggot or a virtue signaling idiot, but in the adoption of stoic philosophy it’s hard to reconcile being a casual sex piranha. I think it’s easy for the folks on this thread to say otherwise because it’s...easy. Path of least resistance. Quickest road to pleasure. Which again, is okay, but not truly a clear adherence to stoicism.

Please don’t downvote me for being a faggot 🥺🥺🥺

DoubleConversation4 · 2020-06-23T14:45:37+00:00

Having casual sex is not bad, because it's in men's nature

Men had to have sex with multiple women at once because men could impregnate hundreds of women in a year

And humanity was struggling to survive

So men really had to have sex with multiple women at the same time

It's your nature, and it's going in line with your nature

It's virtuous

If you learn that "being bad" just equals to "distancing yourself from human condition" you'll know that it's virtuous but that takes experience

RayneXero · 2020-06-23T14:50:21+00:00

I am in the process of reading meditations. :)

I'm new to Stoicism and thus I posed a question to see if there may be anything I hadn't considered.

isthatsuperman · 2020-06-23T14:53:55+00:00

Marcus Aurelius was rolling in poon.

flyinghorse1 · 2020-06-23T15:19:09+00:00

There must be a grey area with MGTOW here. Both are classed as red pilled but mgtow refuses to play the game and they just dont date or have relationships, whereas usually red pilled men usually still date and have relationships but also accept the nature of sexual dynamics

mrmaskfawkes · 2020-06-23T16:35:00+00:00

*looks at the title*

Me: this is gonna be good!

But on a serious note it would be only unjust if you mislead the plate. If you said for instance I want to have a relationship when you have no intent to, then that's a violation of that virtue.

If you say " hey this is what I want, if you're up for that cool", then there is no injustice. You have allowed them to take what they want and that's to be with you and vice versa. A plate gets companionship and a few trips to the bedroom from you. You aren't taking more from them if they are giving you what they asked for and they give you what you asked for.

It's the perfect balance between the two, you both are selfish and selfless as no one is taking more from the othe then what is owed, hence you have not violated the virtue of justice instead being virtuous by simply allowing someone to enter into a clear agreement. Edit :spelling.

Pink_Hanna · 2020-06-23T17:52:43+00:00

Now I've been able to reconcile this quite well with RP teachings (just see my post history, should be the last or second last post where I described my view on it). I just worry that I may be skewing Stoic teachings to suit my own views and perceptions.

“Adapt what is useful, reject what is useless, and add what is specifically your own.”

Bruce Lee

FieldLine · 2020-06-23T14:57:29+00:00

The whole point is to act however you want. Do whatever you want because you want to, weighing the consequences of potentially breaking the law, getting beat up, or becoming a social outcast against potential gains.

All this is to say that if you are adopting "Stoicism" like you would a religion then you aren't getting it.

2020-06-23T16:13:40+00:00

this is something i've struggled with as well. The flesh obviously wants to satisfy those sexual desires that i have but i've gone down the causal sex rabbit hole plenty of times and it never makes me feel good. I used to be okay with leading women on just for the sake of hooking up which I don't do anymore because once again, it had negative effects on my self-esteem.

Sex has always been more exciting for me within a relationship whether that be a gf or fuck buddy that I have a good connection with. Im at a point in my life where now I dont see much of any sense in pursuing any woman casually for the sake of satisfying sexual desires. My rational understands this but of course I still have the desire.

I would say do whatever you want but be honest with yourself in relation to how your actions are effecting you and others. If both parties are willing and she understands that the relationship is just sexual then go for it. In my experience few women have this mindset and they tend to always catch feelings. This is when the true test begins because you can continue to lead her on or do the just action and part ways.

i-am-the-prize · 2020-06-23T19:29:21+00:00

" How do you view casual sex and spinning plates in accordance with acting through Virtue? "

they are not inherently in-congruent - as long as you're not promising commitment without intending to follow through - simply to get laid, or misleading them.

2 consenting adults enjoying each-other's bodies in the present moment isn't un-virtuous, it's about honest arousal and attraction and acting rather congruent.

failingtheturingtest · 2020-06-23T19:50:18+00:00

Honesty is a Virtue. If you want sex with different women, then be clear about it.

The issue is that we're conditioned to offer something on exchange for sex. We offer time, commitment, money, services. Too often these are all offered as covert contracts. That is "I will spend time and money on you, and I expect sex in return, but we aren't going to say it out loud".

If I like a woman's company and enjoy having sex with her, in exchange I offer my company and sex. I remain clear and honest about my wants and expectations, and we're both happy with that.

I've had plates who one day say something like "sorry, I can't this week. I've started seeing someone and I think it might be going somewhere." This, to me, is a sign that things are working as intended. We get to enjoy each other's time and they aren't being led on, they know if they want something serious they can look elsewhere. And in the meantime they get to fulfil their desires without the bullshit.

All people involved are happy, get what we need, and get to be honest about it. That is Virtuous.

Ricgby · 2020-06-23T13:55:38+00:00

It is virtuous if no feelings are involved in both sides.

If the girl starts showing an intention of making you a LTR, the best course of action is to make clear that you are not looking for that, or spin another plate and leave her alone.

boy_named_su · 2020-06-23T14:28:05+00:00

in what way is casual sex / spinning plates unvirtuous?

who are you hurting and how are you hurting them?

girls like getting fucked

just don't lie. you can avoid lying without telling the truth, by avoiding questions

empatheticapathetic · 2020-06-23T13:53:42+00:00

[deleted]

Title	Question about sex for Red Pilled practicing Stoics
Author	RayneXero
Upvotes	22
Comments	42
Date	June 23, 2020 10:46 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/hecd8j/question_about_sex_for_red_pilled_practicing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/question-about-sex-for-red-pilled-practicing.698197 https://theredarchive.com/post/698197

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“Adapt what is useful, reject what is useless, and add what is specifically your own.”