So you even have fun anymore?

monky-loves-you · 2020-04-03T08:13:22+00:00

Yeah pretty much this, except I'm in between jobs so I have that stress at the back of my mind as well. Bodyweight workouts, reading, discord, the highlight of my day is going outside to buy food every day or two then watching movies all night until I can sleep again. I used to lift 7 days a week (non natty). Trying to keep a routine and keep my physique as good as I can. Hoped to use this time to work on my music but more and more feeling like I just can't enjoy it, same thing.

levijonsn · 2020-04-03T09:00:32+00:00

I'm taking advantage of it for now and working my ass off. Doubles. Banking money. Any down time I got I'm getting into Red Dead 2 and calisthenics. The weeks are flying by.

Get yourself into a good, detailed video game. I know video games are not really optimal for a man trying to build himself into something great, but now is a perfectly justifiable time if there ever was one.

SpiderAlpha33 · 2020-04-03T12:15:54+00:00

You need to have a fulfilling life to not depend on women to have fun. Sitting in meditation for 5 minutes gives me ecstatic pleasure with endorphins firing up my entire body. That's how much I deepend my practise. Fix your reward system to self sustain. Your reward system is fucked up because of poor habits and thought patterns. You should love yourself so much that you don't need anyone to be happy. Whether you're speaking, walking, running, coding, doing anything, your mind body complex must be tuned to keep you joyful and relaxed.

AnneStaz · 2020-04-03T12:33:10+00:00

You need to be engaging in new and make your home envirn rich, or your brain literally shrinks and becomes depressed.

Pick up a completely new skill, instrument, etc.

Video call old friends who you haven't talked to you never know who needs it right now and you'll feel fucking awesome.

Work harder, keep reading and working out though that will get dull without a variety of other things to go with it which is why you should do the others.

I've been learning thai, reading sales books, doing old tasks for my job making infographics, hiring an assistant, and calling my family and friends who I haven't talked to for years. Never thought I would but every single convo has been over an hour long of catching up and I feel awesome after.

If I had a guitar I'd be playing it but I move every few months for work.

Try some of those, or align it with your interests

AnonymousSportsExec · 2020-04-03T08:21:01+00:00

Life is great. It's what you make of it. You might be depressed. Maybe see a psychiatrist.

Bowlcut_Vengeance · 2020-04-03T12:31:24+00:00

Yeah man I have this problem, nothing is enough. I get what I’ve been seeking, and instead of enjoying what I now have, I immediately feel the urge for more. I thought quarantine would be a chance to practice being content but it’s just made me restless. Anyone who faces similar issues, let me know, I’m curious if this is ambition or if I’m just an asshole cause I really can’t tell.

when_its_too_late · 2020-04-03T13:34:25+00:00

Are you really bettering yourself or are you going through the motions? Because I have fun reading, or lifting, or watching something. I do it because I found enjoyment in it. So if you have zero enjoyment in self improvement, maybe you are just following the steps. Good luck

gaki123 · 2020-04-03T18:59:58+00:00

Fasting
Cooking (Funnily I'm cooking dishes my grandma cooked when I was younger)
Programming the fuck out
Learning theoretical CS
Improving my english skills (mainly listening)
Reflecting deeply about my last 3~4 years and thinking ways to improve lagging areas of my life
Doing home calisthenics workouts

BruhMoment45886 · 2020-04-03T14:07:36+00:00

Same here nothing has changed for me really. When I read about all these people getting extremely depressed after only a week of this lifestyle it makes me feel like shit. It makes me question how unhealthy my lifestyle must be.

Get some hobbies. Learn Guitar

imtheoneimmortal · 2020-04-03T15:45:40+00:00

You need a big final mission

i-am-the-prize · 2020-04-03T16:01:22+00:00

more fun than ever.

how/why? I'm documenting and witnessing progress in the physical, mental, familial, business (until covid), and spiritual realms; I'm understanding that I'm doing this all for my own benefit; I'm seeing more positive outcomes in every type of relationship; I have better focus and control of my thoughts; I am living regret free and when i falter, i know exactly why and how to avoid it next time.

When you decide to put it all on your own shoulders and no longer are willing to blame any outside force or person for your outcome, it may seem like an impossible burden, but it's the opposite, it's the most freeing mindset I've yet to experience.

https://archive.is/Uxztt

I find the process 'fun' I find the growth 'fun'. Define how you used to get 'fun' (validation from girls?) and then find a new way of defining it.

empatheticapathetic · 2020-04-03T17:11:12+00:00

Anhedonia. I’ve had it somewhat since finding TRP. If I cut out all my easy dopamine resources (internet/phone/music) I’m sure I could find other things fun again.

redlurker9 · 2020-04-03T18:49:09+00:00

“You've wondered why they suffer, why they seek happiness and never find it. If any man stopped and asked himself whether he's ever held a truly personal desire, he'd find the answer. He'd see that all his wishes, his efforts, his dreams, his ambitions are motivated by other men. He's not really struggling even for material wealth, but for the second-hander's delusion - prestige. A stamp of approval, not his own. He can find no joy in the struggle and no joy when he has succeeded. He can't say about a single thing: 'This is what I wanted because I wanted it, not because it made my neighbors gape at me'. Then he wonders why he's unhappy.”

--Ayn Rand, Fountainhead

You're doing these things not because you want to but because you know they are "good for you." Yet, they aren't truly good for you unless you want to do them. You can "find no joy in the struggle and no joy when [you] have succeeded" because you can't say "this is what I wanted because I wanted it, not because it made my neighbors gape at me."

You say you're 33, too old to try the drums. This is a rationalization. If you truly wanted to pursue this hobby, not to monetize or to impress your neighbors, but because you find pleasure in it, then age and skill-level wouldn't matter. You would do it because it provides you with a childlike joy. This joy is the spark of life.

Ask yourself what you really want to do. Let it consume you. If the only answers to that inquiry are dopamine-blasts that do nothing to help you, then you need to explore life and find what interests you. I recommend seeing this post. But whatever you do, pursue it because you derive pleasure from it, not because it'll make you better in the eyes of your neighbor.

Once you pursue things that you personally find interesting, that's when you'll truly become a better men. The joy you derive from these things will permeate through everything you do, and in this joy your frame and happiness will be unshakable.

Remember the activities that fueled your life as a child (legos, sports, reading fiction, pokemon, yu-gi-oh, etc)? I used to wake up before school every morning to play Runescape. It wasn't until we got older and became worried about how to monetize these things or how our neighbors perceived them or what hobbies made us "cool" that we lost pleasure in them.

Instead, pursue it as a child would: without expectation, without hanging on to some outcome in the future. Let it consume you in the moment. Rare is the man who truly derives pleasure from his own existence.

If you are bored, it's not because your life is lacking, it's because you are lacking life.

True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so, wants nothing.

--Seneca

Bushinatordid420 · 2020-04-03T19:05:12+00:00

How are you making some cash at home?

Snowboard18 · 2020-04-04T02:19:18+00:00

Try out some new hobbies, this is the perfect time to get into something new because of how much free time we have. But, obviously ones that you can do alone, such as guitar, some other instrument, running, biking, cooking, woodworking, etc.

oakanon1 · 2020-04-04T08:30:27+00:00

Managing your mood is a skill worth developing. I like to lay out on a hammock in the sun with a book or some shit. Listen to smooth music, maybe smoke, whatever. Just be able to sit somewhere with nothing going on and be at peace. We all do the basics. Eat right, lift, read, hustle, maybe meditate, blah blah blah. You can't neglect the ability to just chill, it's important.

Life has downtime built in. Embrace it. Obviously you've got the basics covered. Now can you find a way to actually enjoy yourself while going through those basics? If not, why not? If you're bored, you're not paying enough attention. Why does downtime have to be grey and boring?

I used to be hyper productive and COULD NOT feel good unless I was socializing or being productive in some way. I'd get depressed and anxious. My ex had a really nice vibe about her, just a very happy/easy going presence. Every weekend morning she would grab a book and coffee and spend like 2 hours just sitting there, slow sippin coffee, reading a few pages, then looking off in the distance. If she has work, she'll get out of bed an hour early to do that. If you can't do that, maybe it's worth focusing on during this whole rona shit.

Title	So you even have fun anymore?
Author	redlurker9
Upvotes	18
Comments	37
Date	April 3, 2020 6:46 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/fu3ggu/so_you_even_have_fun_anymore/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/so-you-even-have-fun-anymore.358855 https://theredarchive.com/post/358855

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