Married man. Wife has a vibrator that I know she uses. I am considering taking it away from her and want some feedback from you guys, please.

BACKGROUND: When we're getting along and having sex, she gets off from intercourse 90% of the time. We're pretty open about whether she gets off and what is or isn't working, and she's generally a bitch about it if she doesn't get off. So while the temptation is probably to think she's using the vibrator because she isn't satisfied, and I'm sure that has sometimes been the issue, I think she uses it primarily because she wants to get off, but not with me, either because of a lack of attraction, or because she is choosing to withhold sex.

MY RP PLAN: I have been working on changing my habits to be more assertive and dominant in our relationship; to make choices for us rather than dithering or worrying in the face of her temperament. I have also been working hard in the gym and at dressing better, all with the goal of making myself attractive and desirable. I understand that's all on me, and I'm working my ass off. I think my wife is not fundamentally frigid. Our crappy sex life is attributable in part to a lack of attraction that has grown as I've fallen into the typical husband role, and in part to her using sex as a method of getting what she wants in the relationship. Of these, the former is the bigger issue, because giving her what she wants is far more likely to lead to further issues or demands than sex.

NO MORE TOYS: So my plan then is take it out of her drawer tonight and tell her that we have a new rule: If she wants to get off, she can get off with me. If she's horny enough to masturbate, then she's horny enough for sex.

What do you guys think? Good move? Stupid? Anything else you think I should do?

Thanks in advance.