To breakup or not?

AltrumViritas · 2019-01-25T22:34:51+00:00

Drop her. You already know you should, you're just here for confirmation of your instincts. It's natural that you think bad about it, were taught to appreciate loyalty and these types of relationships, but you know It's not healthy for you long term.

You mentioned you have no friends, so maybe go get some get yourself off the weed/meet her dealer then drop her. It sounds horrible but you need to put yourself as #1. This doesn't mean you need to be horrible to her, explain your not convinced she is committed and that It's fine but your'e going to go your own way.

Goodluck mate, keep us posted.

2ndcunuck · 2019-01-25T22:22:37+00:00

You are emotionally too dependent on her for your own happiness and pleasure.

The red flags you stated here are serious red flags and I would never LTR such a woman. Honestly I would say next but I know you won’t, so continue on in the relationship, when it bites you in the ass, you can see with clarity how dumb you were to continue with such red flags, and hopefully the bite hurts enough that you correct yourself for the future. Best of luck

soulmysold · 2019-01-25T22:54:00+00:00

I feel like you just described exactly what I'd like to avoid in a significant other.

Dump her, trust me bro there are much better women out there.

baeslick · 2019-01-25T23:04:19+00:00

Look up "codependency" on Google, OP. It's going to be an eye-opener, you know she's bad news so just do it.

I understand it's difficult, be kind to her, maybe there's a way for you guys to be friends with benefits, if she's been alpha widowed 2x and she's been riding the CC, there's a reason. Break up with her, get off the weed and make yourself better. You will see how you find better, healthier relationships, and that includes building a social network of high-quality people in your new city. You got this, OP

Rkingpin · 2019-01-25T23:04:04+00:00

Fucking hell get out already before she files some kind of false accusation

LucrativeMath · 2019-01-25T23:06:38+00:00

I was in a similar situation minus the weed.

I was in a five year LTR with a chick that I loved. We lived together for four of them. I became the father to her daughter from a previous marriage. Bio dad out of state.

I’m 35 now and feel like I wasted a lot of my prime in a relationship that was not serving me.

I ignored a ton of the same red flags you mentioned. Abused emotionally physically and sexually as a child (didn’t find this out til later), had a ton of failed abusive relationships, came from a dysfunctional family, had a ton of orbiters, super jealous, very needy, alienated me from friends, etc.

I knew I should have left way earlier. I’d say the first kick in the gut from intuition happened a month or two in. They kept happening, but I was just “trying to do the right thing” and help us push through to the happy and healthy ideal relationship we all wanted at some point.

Here I am, three weeks after moving out of the apartment we all shared and I think it’s one of the best decisions I’ve made in a long time. I feel free. I made up my mind to live for myself and answer to no one. I go to the gym daily and read daily, and am focused on being the best me. My stats at work have already improved and people have noticed the positive change. I’m able to go out with my friends and not worry about what type of wrath awaits me at home.

All this to say, if you know in your gut what you need to do, just fucking do it. You will be fine. Take care of yourself. If you’re that worried about being depressed or withdrawn, find a new hobby to keep you busy and engaged. It will help you build yourself back up while keeping your mind off the heart ache. No, it won’t be easy, but it will be worth it in the end.

Trust me. This is the second 5 year LTR that I’ve walked away from. And each time I grew exponentially as a man. Physical, mentally, emotionally, professionally... all of that. All that you have is you my friend.

Sure you’ll rationalize staying with her. And that’s fine. Stay for a while. But you’ll never ever be able to shake the fact that she lied to you and used to be a total whore. You don’t want to wife that or be with her forever. So what’s your end game here?

Think about it. Dwell on it. Do all that shit. Eventually, you’ll figure out what’s best for you. And we’ll all be here for you when you figure it out. So will all the red pill YouTube channels and books.

Good luck.

yungbuck19 · 2019-01-25T23:12:28+00:00

Don't step in shit when you know there's shit there

TheRedPillMonkey · 2019-01-25T23:37:25+00:00

Drop her.

I'm not even going to read this, but if you have to ask the question, you already know the answer. You wouldn't consider it if you didn't want to do it..

A good relationship is almost impossible to find. Lots of breakups will happen until then. When do find a good one, you won't have to question if you should drop her. You won't even consider it.

This isn't that relationship. Stop wasting your time. Drop her and move on.

Don_Draper27 · 2019-01-25T23:54:57+00:00

As your Doctor, I'm going to diagnose your symptoms as severe oneitis. You also have a hamster the size of the balls in your girlfriends purse doing laps on a wheel in your brain.

Don't worry son. I'm going to prescribe you with sidebar readings, top posts of all time on TRP, and a good ol' slap in the face so you could wake the fuck up from your passive life.

chazthundergut · 2019-01-26T00:18:21+00:00

Eldudearino89 · 2019-01-26T01:26:04+00:00

SIGNS of BPD all over the damn place.

Plate if you're skilled.

DTB if you aren't. Trust me your mind will thank you

boy_named_su · 2019-01-25T22:17:34+00:00

Downgrade her to plate or (non-exclusive) FWB. Go meet some other women

Fuck them for at least 3 months. Wait til they beg for you an LTR. Evaluate their red flags. Then decide

Try to find one that has single digit body count, strong father figure, more female than male friends

You ever suck dick for weed? No? Then you're not addicted

LodestarAuriga · 2019-01-25T22:58:18+00:00

Come on, man. You have described an object that brings you incredible pleasure, as well as incredible pain and doubt. Something that seems to be pretty clearly wrong and harmful, yet somehow you keep at it. Something that, when far away from it, you begin to sober up and consider leaving it, but that just as you see it again you feel right back at home.

See what i'm describing? A drug. A weakening, dependency-creating drug. This girl, if it could be called that, is nothing but a toxic substance. She is, sadly, rotten to the core. And just as a rotten tomato spoils the rest in the basket, she will drain you too.

You said it yourself. This girl has too many red flags. This girl is a liar and depends on the cock-carousel to battle her unsolved issues.

Are you strong enough to quit the drug and get your life back? Or would you rather remain debilitated and be weak enough to stay?

Snap out of it!

[deleted] · 2019-01-26T00:23:23+00:00

It’s because your mind isn’t right bro. Go for a long hike or weight lifting session to think clearly

BuckNekkid18 · 2019-01-26T00:38:39+00:00

I normally don't care about n count but her lying and adding 5 more every time is a huge red flag. I would've bolted right there but that's just me.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2019-01-26T01:21:04+00:00

By the time guys are posting this type of question in askTRP, they already know the answer.

Her kill count is probably more like 90.

Go read: The Anna Karenina Principle and the Problem of Bad Relationships

TheRealIsBack1 · 2019-01-26T02:14:06+00:00

You know what to do. Have some people to talk to (friend, family, etc.). It's gonna be a hard uphill battle but you will get through this shit. Then, swallow the big ass pill.

livefreeofdie · 2019-01-26T04:02:12+00:00

Why the fuck you didn't contact the dealer yet?

Ask her yo introduce you.

BACONisKEWLEST · 2019-01-26T04:36:56+00:00

Always trust your gut. This isn’t a cliche. Well calibrated intuition makes life a lot easier. But you have to act on that intuition in order to calibrate it. It’s literally screaming at you and you still won’t act. That says a lot about you.

priapula · 2019-01-26T06:14:36+00:00

breakup 100%

goblinboglin · 2019-01-26T08:14:13+00:00

Yes drop her.

I'm surprised you even have to ask for this one.

Get rid of your oneitis and go hunting bro.

Title	To breakup or not?
Author	AcesHighNinja
Upvotes	7
Comments	22
Date	January 25, 2019 10:04 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/aju8vh/to_breakup_or_not/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/to-breakup-or-not.203364 https://theredarchive.com/post/203364

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