"You have a small dick" shit test

abdada · 2015-08-24T21:09:17+00:00

"Sweetie, we talked about this. My dick isn't small, you just have a really loose poophole."

SexistFlyingPig · 2015-08-24T21:24:10+00:00

1) Don't react at all. If she hasn't seen it, then how would she know?
2) If you do react, Agree and Amplify. "It's not so much that it's short, it's just that I'm really really tall in comparison."
3) Smash that insult right back at her: "It's probably not in the top 5 of the hundreds that you've had, but you still gag on it when you're blowing me."

vandaalen · 2015-08-24T21:53:46+00:00

I am always baffled with what kind of people you guys are wasting your time away.

Why would you like spending your time with a girl which behaves like a dude, when you could just go with the real thing and actually have some fun?

Why are you giving away your attention and time to a bitch who isn't reciprocrating it with anything besides trying to personally insult you and trying to make you loose your frame? She not having seen your dick means you don't fuck her. Does she clean your flat? Does she cook you your dinners?

I also do not like any of these comebacks here, since they are all responding to the frame she has set. No matter how witty they are, you only use stuff like this with your bros.

"Shut up bitch and go make me a sandwhich."

CuntyMcFagNuts69 · 2015-08-24T21:28:37+00:00

You could be calm and say, I can't touch the bottom of a tuna can but I can bust out the sides

Or nuclear, it does look small in your fat hands.

trpftw · 2015-08-24T21:17:21+00:00

"if that's your strategy to keep other girls off me, I doubt it will work."

Then when you two are alone, just flat out tell her "I'm gonna fuck you so hard that you're not gonna be able to utter the words 'small' and 'dick' again in my presence."

And if she isn't turned on or interested by that or responds negatively to that, then you can pretty much tell her you're dumping her because she doesn't turn you on. (if she gets mad and leaves or whatever, don't worry, she'll be back).

It's gonna take some balls to say that to her but you need to not care if you lose her. She's basically sizing you up and giving you a fitness test to see if you have the balls to stand up to her.

recoveringdeleted · 2015-08-24T21:47:26+00:00

If you insult a girl after she says you have a small dick you're going to look incredibly insecure. If a girl did this to me I'd probably laugh and then agree and amplify. Laughing would be an automatic first reaction but it's easy for me because I frequently joke about having a tiny penis.

If you've actually got a small dick then it's going to get around girl's social circles, if they get to the point of seeing your dick you'd have to fuck up pretty hard to not get laid so, does it really matter that much?

tepper2 · 2015-08-24T21:19:30+00:00

I'd show her my dick.

rshackleford161 · 2015-08-24T23:09:19+00:00

Don't worry about people thinking you've got a small dick, no one remotely adult (or ready to have sex) are going to be gossiping about that. Just don't overreact & lose frame (stereotype of the guy worried). How old are you?

She's trying to get a rise out of you and she's succeeding. She wants attention and tension. Don't give it to her. An exaggerated sigh with a disappointed, bored stare will get the point across. Then change your attention to other people. If she persists, just say, "Girl, you're boring me." and switch back.

If you want a quip: "Small but perky! Seriously, are you 12?", "Well, as long as YOU'RE okay with it.", "I was in the pool! (Costanza style)", "You know it, sugar tits.", "Only when you're talking"

Generally speaking, it isn't "she wants the cock" but rather "she wants the man to fuck her with it". So even if you're small, don't worry.

Finally, win the struggle by screwing all her friends and not her.

BrajScience · 2015-08-24T22:43:21+00:00

"Three inches at 80 miles per hour is still a motherfucker"

Gimprome · 2015-08-24T22:42:45+00:00

bboiabb · 2015-08-24T22:47:48+00:00

AGREE AND AMPLIFY.

This cannot be stressed enough.

WardlyHasted · 2015-08-24T23:16:11+00:00

Tell her she has broad shoulders. Or hairy arms. Or tell her her ass is flatter than pavement.

Basically she's calling out your masculinity/manhood with small penis jokes, so return the favour by pointing out something about her that isn't very feminine. Don't be mean about it though--tone and delivery are key here.

smokingmonkey420 · 2015-08-24T21:49:49+00:00

"You don't know shit bitch shut the fuck up."

favours_of_the_moon · 2015-08-24T21:48:36+00:00

"Wouldn't YOU like to know!"

or

"That's not what your MOM said."

Title	"You have a small dick" shit test
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	7
Comments	45
Date	August 24, 2015 9:05 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3i904e/you_have_a_small_dick_shit_test/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/you-have-a-small-dick-shit-test.189267 https://theredarchive.com/post/189267

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