• The guts to make the ballsy move, even when you’re unsure about it working.
  • The ability to speak loudly and freely without filtering yourself.
  • The self-esteem to believe you deserve the hottie in the cocktail dress.

I honestly believe you’re like 90% of the way to your dream woman (and maybe your dream life) once you’ve got these skills down.

Here are 10 exercises I recommend to help you learn these skills.

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#1 Grab a pen and write 50 reasons why you’re awesome

Grab a pen and write down 50 reasons.

Fifty might sound like a lot. It’s supposed to. This exercise is designed to encourage deep thought about your awesomeness.

Include physical attributes, personality traits and previous achievements. If you’re currently working on improving something about your life, add that too!

After all, most people aren’t trying to improve themselves at all.

Once you’re done, you have a list of 50 reasons why that hottie will welcome your approach.

Read it regularly if you want to - but the fact you even completed this task should give you a self-esteem boost.

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#2 The Five Second Rule: Act Before Your Brain Has Time To Think

Approach anxiety is proven by science, yo!

When we try something unknown, our brain often perceives it as potentially dangerous. This is its way of keeping us alive.

It floods our bodies with adrenaline, adds weight to our muscles and poisons our mind with thoughts of something going wrong.

A great way to counteract this is act before you brain has time to think.

In her book The 5 Second Rule, Mel Robbins recommends counting backwards from five as soon as you see something you know you should do. This will quieten your mind, so you’re ready to take action as soon as you hit “one”.

She says: “Hesitation is the kiss of death. You might hesitate for a just nanosecond, but that’s all it takes. That one small hesitation triggers a mental system that’s designed to stop you. And it happens in less than—you guessed it—five seconds.”

Try it the next time that hottie strolls past.

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#3 Exposure Therapy

Exposure therapy is based on the idea that putting yourself through something is the best way to eliminate your fear of it.

Indeed, once your brain sees enough evidence that a certain activity is safe, it will stop panicking.

As terrifying as it sounds, the best way to cure social anxiety is to face it.

If cold-approaching is too scary at this point, start smaller.

  • Toastmasters events or improv comedy classes are great for conquering a fear of expressing yourself freely.
  • Speed dating is a useful way of exposing yourself to single women.
  • If this all sounds a bit much, ask a friend to drag you to a social event and introduce you to people.

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#4 Train your willpower muscle

Exploding out of your comfort zone requires willpower.

The part of the brain responsible for this is called the prefrontal cortex - and you can strengthen this through repeated use.

Here are some exercises to achieve this.

  • Take cold showers. It’s a tortorous way to start the day, but also your the first opportunity of the day to escape your comfort zone. There are a number of physical benefits to doing this too.
  • Lift weights. If you’re pushing yourself properly, you’ll need incredible willpower to pull off that final rep.
  • Try new hobbies and practice in public. Your brain will tell you not to look stupid in front of other people, but most beginners will end up looking a little silly. This is a great way of showing yourself that failure isn’t a big deal.
  • Sleep for at least eight hours. This replenishes your prefrontal cortex. Notice how much harder it is to resist junk food, or complete any meaningful task, when you’re underslept.
  • Eat healthily. Get those greens inside you. There are numerous studies linking a clean diet with improved mental health.

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#5 Meditate

Meditation helps you seperate yourself from your thoughts.

The feelings of self-doubt that enter our mind can feel so powerful in the moment.

They stop us approaching that beautiful woman or speaking up in that business meeting. In doing so, they ruin our lives.

Yet, they’re only thoughts…

They’re not part of us and we don’t have to listen to them.

Meditation will help you realise that. Other proven benefits include improved focus, better sleep, decreased stress and lower blood pressure.

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#6 Practice confident body language

Our body language has a powerful impact on our mood.

Try frowning and slouching with your hands in your pocket and your head facing the floor.

Now, adopt a power stance with your arms raised like a champion. Smile so big that all your teeth show. Notice how much better you feel!

The power stance might be a bit much for normal social situations, but it’s worth consciously adopting positive body language whenever you’re speaking with someone.

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#7 Learn How To Tell Compelling Stories

Speaking charismatically is also a skill that can be improved with practice.

Skills like:

  • how to hooking people with a strong introduction
  • varying your vocal tonality
  • adding emotion into your stories
  • painting a picture so it feels like they were really there
  • adding humour
  • killer punchlines

The more you practice these skills and notice people hanging on your every word, the easier it will be speak confidently in future. After all, you’ve now seen evidence you’re a charismatic story-teller.

#8 Social freedom exercises

Social freedom exercises require people to perform an outrageous challenge in public.

They’re designed to put ‘normal’ social interactions into perspective. They’ll also help to eliminate the fear of ‘what other people think’. With most social freedom challenges, you’ll realise people really don’t care what strangers are doing with their lives.

They’ll tend to stare for a few seconds only. Some may smile at you. At worst, they may join in.

People are too lost in their own thoughts to pay give a second thought to strangers. Even if they do, most majority are too polite to react in any way.

The only way you’ll truly believe this is by proving it to yourself. Here are some common social freedom exercises to try.

  • Clap your hands above your head.
  • Try and get 10 high fives.
  • Stand with a ‘free hugs’ sign.
  • Public star jumps.
  • Wearing fancy dress.
  • Yelling or singing.
  • Lying on the sidewalk.

#9 Warm up

Athletes ‘warm up’ because the physical state needed for competitive sports is so different to their default.

For most people, the mental state needed to be socially free is also in complete contrast to their default.

I used to think I was ‘above’ warming up for game, even though I spend hours working alone on a laptop - even though I’d always spend ages walking around not feeling like talking to anyone.

Now, I ‘warm up’ by speaking to the first person I see when I hit the field (5 second rule, remember ;) ). It’s made a huge difference.

Alternatively, keep yourself ‘warmed up’ by making small talk with work colleagues and any employees who serve you throughout the day. Throw in a compliment and notice how easy it is to make someone smile.

This might appear awkward at first, but you’ll soon adapt to being that naturally social person. Before long, you’ll realise most people are friendly, and it’s no reflection on you if they’re not.

#10 Surround yourself with people who empower you

There’s a reason why game seems easier with a wingman.

Most tasks are easier when you’ve got a great team supporting you. That’s why it’s so important to surround yourself with supportive friends.

Don’t just do this in the field.

Do it in your everyday life.

People who drain your confidence are not your friends. Either stand up to them or (even better) stop hanging out.

True friends will support any positive steps you’re taking in life.

These ten exercises might be difficult at first, but they’re worth persisting with. Eventually, they’ll give you the confidence to go for that hottie with irresistible charisma.

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I’ve co-launched WhatsApp and Telegram groups for men who want to become incredible with women. Hundreds of guys sharing their success stories and getting advice on their sticking points. A real brotherhood. If you want to join the groups, drop me a private message with your phone number (for WhatsApp) or your username (for Telegram).