24M I Feel Like I Should Be Doing Better With Women Than I Am - What's the Verdict?

appolonysian · 2024-12-12T22:35:09+00:00

Currently working on this myself as well, and while I’m not out of the woods yet, I’ve made some progress.

Look again at the way you wrote this post: “I’m X-conventionally-assumed-attractive-quality,” I do “Y-good-thing.” None of this is in of itself a bad thing, but it shows that you’re thinking attraction is a causal thing based on X trait or Y activity. It also shows that you think that on your own you’re not enough for these women - you gotta do X ot have Y.

I’ll reign in the ambiguous bullshit and say this: those attractive traits may get you in the door, but it’s the combination of social-savvy and authentic confidence that will keep you there. In most cases, women will roughly reflect the feelings you have about yourself beneath all the showy things, simply because those intangible traits will lead you to act in certain attractive ways naturally.

Work on whatever you need to do to feel indifferent to the ones you want in the way you’re indifferent to the girls you can get dates with.

MuceLee · 2024-12-12T21:58:48+00:00

I would start with a hobby, preferably social one - basketball, soccer, volleyball...whatever, but those can bring friends and connections in your life. Start with those (or any other hobby but where you can meet people).

And see how it goes from there. I think if you will make new friends in the new place, you will go on from there.

AssistTemporary8422 · 2024-12-12T23:00:00+00:00

You said it yourself your social life is non-existent. The gender ratio on dating apps is pretty bad so the cutish girls you are seeing is the natural consequence. Another thing you can try is taking some incredible pictures for your profile.

Western-Month-3877 · 2024-12-12T22:41:37+00:00

You didn’t do do anything wrong.

This always happens to young adults who graduated from HS or college. As soon as there’s no common ground between you and your school friends, they just slowly disappeared from your life as you from theirs.

People tend to forget a school/college is a setup. It’s built for common purpose (education) where new people meet, introduce themselves and slowly grow their friendship. Same thing with church or any social clubs.

If you feel like life getting quieter and lonelier, it’s because you don’t repeat the pattern. Yes parents put us thru school and college, they technically set it up for us. Now it’s up to you if you wanna repeat the cycle, now you gotta do it yourself; join a place or a community where you can regularly hang out with people there, be it a church or a swimming club or whatever. Yes it will require an effort, no more parents who’d take us to a new place to meet new people like in the past.

You said you run a business, so maybe there’s employees that you can regularly can hang out with, even if it’s just once a week? Maybe you can branch out from there, meeting their friends and families. This reminds me when I hung out with some friends few months ago, we talked about how we didn’t really remember how we met the first time until we traced it back. Turned out we met each other thru friends’ friends (the 6 degree stuff).

sutterbutter · 2024-12-13T00:27:05+00:00

Rec sports are a hack man. Beach volleyball in chicago set me up

HomelessMilkman · 2024-12-13T11:26:53+00:00

The only thing that's relevant with interacting with women, is interacting with women. It's odd, there's so much focus on these external things which are tertiary at best and in some respects more of a stressful distraction.

For sure, your lifestyle can affect how much time you have, how much stress you have, logistics and so on but at the end of the day it all revolves back to how you're showing up in the interaction.

It's presentation, it's enthusiasm and energy. The things you've achieved are cool for what they are but it's your enthusiasm and presentation people buy into, not the 'material'. Unless it equates to social skills, unless people are listening to you speak and it sounds 'fun and exciting', the words are empty of feeling. It's 'basic', you can read all of this in monotone or you can add variance and make it 'fun' to listen to.

Again, you live or die by how you present yourself. If you do all of this cool shit and then you mumble, stand there blankly, don't express yourself much and so on, it's irrelevant and the opposite is true. In a way, that's freeing for most people who haven't achieved what you have. On the flip side, the external things doesn't 'carry' you in any way; it's who you became through doing so. That isn't 'nothing' but the goal is not to have any of it 'taking bandwidth' in your mind while you're in an interaction; and if that's the case, does it matter if you've forgotten? You dress well and forget about it, you don't use it to judge and compare else you're actually 'worse' off.

You're not 'unattractive' based on the feedback but your metric is based on information and not how the information is presented, which is really what it's gauged on. You can be a '1' or a '10' depending on how you're showing up at the time (theoretically speaking that is, someones' 'bad' attempt is someone elses 'best' attempt).

KingTrey7 · 2024-12-13T22:45:40+00:00

Might sound like a random question but the answer might help me to help you, are you an only child but have a bunch of cousins? Or just big gap in age between you and your sibling?

slippy-tiddy · 2024-12-12T21:35:13+00:00

Thanks in advance everyone!

Title	24M I Feel Like I Should Be Doing Better With Women Than I Am - What's the Verdict?
Author	slippy-tiddy
Upvotes	5
Comments	32
Date	December 12, 2024 9:34 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1hcw1zr/24m_i_feel_like_i_should_be_doing_better_with/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/24m-i-feel-like-i-should-be-doing-better-with.1538329 https://theredarchive.com/post/1538329

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