Where were you 28 days ago?

Are you the same person you were back then? Same beliefs, feelings, thoughts, attitudes, habits, style, outlook, activities, rituals, routines, friends, lovers? Most people I've asked say yes, but I'm willing to bet you're not like most people, and can therefore relate to what I'm celebrating today -- a resounding NO to all of them.

GET BUSY LIVING OR GET BUSY DYING

For years I've been a self-hating, self-medicating, absolute joy to be around. Despite considerable success my life had devolved into a wholesale avoidance of the failures of the past, content to AFC myself into an early grave. I was working on staying indoors for several days at a time. A host of mental health acronyms fulfilled my victim mentality. "My time is up" or so I thought. And if any attitude is self-fulfilling it's the pessimistic view passing itself off as pragmatic. I clearly suck at dying, let's give living another shot.

Mark Manson's "Models"

Thanks to boredom I discovered this subreddit via the Random button. Thanks to this subreddit I discovered this book. Thanks to this book I found a way to align this with my actual self, as much of a fan of DD I never integrated it into my life and "relaxed" once I met the woman of my dreams. I broke up with her last year and bid her a fond post-mortem farewell this valentine's day to close the chapter. I re-watched "Swingers" and pretended that Vince Vaughn was Jon Favreau's Tyler Durden.

"Models" speaks to me the way no other book has. I don't need pickup lines or gimmicks or $2000 suits or the jet-setting lifestyle I figured I'd need to approach gorgeous women on the street. I'm doing great as I am, and thanks to him with a few small adjustments I'm at peace with myself in a way that's unrecognizable to me or others 28 days ago. Mark you should call it "How To Be A Man", but the line "Attract Women Through Honesty" is so good I leave the book on my coffee table when I invite them over. To them and the women that lurk this sub, I say that I'm overcoming my social conditioning to be the most honest, self-improving, sexually-aware & integrated man possible. You're welcome!

You CAN Have What You Want

"Rust knew exactly who he was. And there was no talking him out of it."

"Y'know Marty's single big problem is that he never really knew himself. So he never really knew what to want. But I'm big enough to not stay angry at someone for that."

Goddamn Nic Pizzolatto nailed me to the wall with this one, but it took this sub and its reading materials to make me aware that my social conditioning was standing in the way of what I wanted. I was SCARED to want what I wanted for fear of other's views...what a terrible life.

Once I stopped letting other people tell me what's ok to want (within the bounds of the law and good taste), life has opened up in terms of opportunity to an incredible degree. If you want more out of life, just ask, and be ok with hearing the word "No." I don't let other people define me whether it be romantically, vocationally, what have you. It's harder than it sounds but easier than it looks.

Motivation Through The 28

I've successfully (fingers crossed!) cold turkey'd THREE addictive substances all at the same time, with TV being a 4th if you will. My willpower is a sledgehammer that gets stronger every day. I've lost 20 lbs just by cleaning my Fortress of Depression (gyms hate him). I've re-engaged with my hobbies, not to impress women but to do it for me. It's merely convenient that the women in my life become attracted to these qualities...or purely by selection and disqualification...I'm rather unconcerned.

I've heard a lot these past few weeks, things that should have kept me down. "You only want sex", "You do this a lot", "You're a player", "Get lost loser". It's their insecurities being projected, not mine, and I find new ways to re-frame these to their face, the goal being that every rejection leads me to a better me if I handle it well. In my career every "No" brings me closer to the "Yes" but not by sheer numbers...it's by the sheer force of will that I crash against the rocks time and time again to where I'm the ultimate candidate.

Oh Right, The Women

Yes I'm getting laid, thanks. Yes I'm making tons of new friends, guys and girls. Yes I'm walking into a bar by myself and having a blast. Yes I'm wondering what the fuck I've been doing for all these years.

You guys get enough stats from FR's that's not my thing, but I've easily read 6 months of your posts keep it up. In hockey I don't count my empty-net goal alongside the game-winning backhand I threaded between 2 defensemen, I loathe stats in that sense and I'm working on the "1 in 10 in 10 in 10" rule not for stats but to combat my one-itis. The woman I marry will have passed through the gauntlet as I rediscover each archetype personally and repeatedly.

What I'm thoroughly excited about is that rush I get when I see a woman I'm attracted to, immediately approach and interrupt her day, evaluate her as opposed to the other way around, get her number, and be unabashed about my sexuality and intentions. I thought it was creepy, but hiding your intentions is way worse and women can smell that a mile off. Any of you who've gently brushed a woman's hair out of her eyes within 5 seconds of meeting her know what I'm getting at -- the shift in her face and body language that says "oh, he gets it." And we communicate on a level invisible to others, sometimes even to the women themselves.

The Next 28

I live in a city notorious for its social retardation and learned helplessness, but I suspect many cities are this way. I'd be a victim of this too if it were true, but I've simply lost count of how many women have smiled and said "Hi" back, stopped and asked ME how I'm doing, THANKED ME FOR TALKING TO THEM WTF!! I'm starting to think that what I'm doing is unfair, but y'all have had enough time with me on the sidelines. I hope you made the most of it.

I can't imagine the shift I've made in the last 4 weeks can be repeated, but 4 weeks ago I'd say this was all bullshit so I leave it up to the universe. I don't even know what "ironic" means anymore, but given the nature of the frontpage these days I find it hilarious that reddit taught me how to approach and date several women and get my entire life back on track.

"Thanks" will have to do. I hope I've inspired you as you've inspired me.

TL;DR -- Doing better.