Backstory: 9.5 IG model type used to work w me. We were both in relationships and didn’t interact a whole lot. Over a year ago I got divorced and 6-8 months ago her engagement ended. She would begin texting me 6 months ago, I would keep it slightly flirty but short and usually end the convos or even once in a while leave her on read. But she’d alway re-engage a new convo a week later or sometimes just a few days. I honestly have a bad radar so had no idea how much she was into me or not. I just took it as mostly platonic convos. A mutual friend of our kept telling me that she could tell this girl was trying harder than I thought she was. The signs were there, I just didn’t want to believe the obvious signs (ie her asking me to take her home after our Christmas party).

About a month ago she put her notice in at work. From there our texting increased to almost daily, with her initiating 80% of it and always texting back in minutes.

I got sort of lazy, or too comfortable. Soon I started texting her first more, to where it was 50/50, responding back faster, and just feeling like I wanted to text w her all the time. It was fun and I thought… I know I’m not following the rules but this seems authentic and easy might as well keep it up.

We set a day to hang out. Prior we had only ever hung out out in group settings. Couple days ago I noticed her messages had less emojis, or just a single emoji as a response, and seemed to be less fun. Today the texts were taking 1.5 hours which is not like her. We went from texting everyday to no texting at all 2 of the last 3 days. She even left me on read a few nights ago. Today she asked for a raincheck when we were supposed to hangout.

Now I feel like an idiot. I got too comfortable and broke the rules. I think that no texting at all between dates is a little too far, but I clearly took it too far the opposite direction, even if I was still only imitating 50% of texts. I’ll try to salvage what I can by putting my interest elsewhere and not caring, pulling away a little bit.

TLDR: no matter how comfortable you feel in the beginning, only ever initiate 25% of texts and even if they text back immediately all the time keep your longer in between.

EDIT: let me contrast this w a story from a year ago..

I used to have a humongous crush on this chick, I’d always flirt w her at her bar she worked at. She moved and years went by. Last year I saw she moved back to I shot her and IG message, caught up for a minute on IG.. a few months later I told her about this wedding in Tennessee and asked if she wanted to tag along. She said yes and we ended the convo. We did go out for drinks one time prior to the wedding and she came over. I basically never ever texted this girl beyond her requests to hang out. We went to the wedding and had fun. I told her that I used to have the biggest crush on her and she was like… sooo do you still??? Afterwards I had to tell her I didn’t want a gf because she was always wanting to hang out. I never initiated texts or messages w this girl other than the first one. I never let convos goes beyond just a few back and forth w her either… and she was wanting a relationship within just a few hangouts..