20 year old male here. First some facts about me that would be useful to know.

  • History of being bullied in Kindergarten and Elementary School, which had considerably stunted my emotional and social skill growth. In retrospect many of my behaviours seem borderline autistic.

  • My interest in sex and women began as late as 15 years old, leaving me less experienced

  • Kind of an academic failure until I hit college and did something I love. This has helped my confidence. Sort of like what usually happens to older men in high powered careers.

  • AFC upbringing which lead to many crashes and burns

  • Recovering "nice guy" in all aspects of life.

The Issue

The main problem I seem to be having nowadays is not shyness towards women but the perception of disrespect/disregard by women I have or have no interest in.

A couple of years back, a manipulative chick who I initially thought of as a friend started to gradually frame our relationship as flirtatious/romantic. Even friends and acquaintances would notice that. So I made my move and was friendzoned. Since then I came to question a lot about male-female dynamics.

Fast forward to last September, I was for all intents and purposes thrown out of a bus by a friend I saw as my little sister.

My whole background and these events have made me put respect above attraction. I prefer not showing interest to seeming even slightly needy. However, I seem to get angry and assume women don't respect me for any number of reasons (i.e not getting back to me after a call or text even after days, colleagues nearly forgetting I exist during holidays. Also a friend recently seems to never go out with me and my friends now that she has a boyfriend. Convieniently, whenever she does she is having boyfriend troubles and we don't hear the end of it)

I honestly don't know what to believe. I don't even think I can explain it well enough...

The thing is this seems to be happening even concerning women close to me. I feel as if I have to game my own female friends, as if I shouldn't share my vulnerabilities and seem weak.

I hope I did my best explaining my situation and adding perspective on why I feel this way. If there are details I can add, I'll happily oblidge.

Looking forward to answers as surely someone must have went through that! Not afraid of constructive criticism so kick my *ss if you must.