Advice for becoming more confident and less jealous?

Not2original · 2015-05-21T13:43:16+00:00

TL;DR respect yourself, know your boundaries, respect your partner. draw a line in the sand of attitudes and behavior you won't accept. Kick partner to the curb that won't toe your line, and be willing to accept your partner will do the same if you don't toe their line.

I haven't been a jealous guy since high school and early military career. My personal epiphany came when I realized, My first 4 girlfriends all cheated on me, and I tried to analyze what their problem was and I had a lot of self doubt, which developed in to more crippling trust issues and jealousy.

Then, one of my Buddies told me. "You don't have control over anyone but yourself. You are not responsible for the actions/feelings of anyone else regardless of your relationship with them."

If a person is going to cheat that's a decision they made and they made it without thinking of anyone else but them self. Why would you want to be with a partner who doesn't consider you when they make a decision?

This mentality has really helped me let go of all jealousy, and I give the women I'm with freedom, respect, space when they need it. I also give that to myself in return.

I've had girlfriends go out for a night on the town all dressed up and I already know she'll get hit on, flirt, and tease guys she sees. I'm completely comfortable with this because if she cares for me. She'll come home to me and have just had a good time.

If she doesn't she'll cheat, and I will kick her to the curb and move on. I'm not going to be with a partner that doesn't respect me.

davidjascha · 2015-05-21T08:18:51+00:00

I think there is no way around practicing to take control of your imagination after that initial trigger. I mean, we all get these triggers, right, but it's the second after it where it goes down.

In my opinion, it's really a process of developing a mind that is a bit more calm, through meditation, or simply breathing when 'it' happens to delay the emotion, and then look at it from a more rational perspective.

We, who care about out ladies, are all jealous, but the difference lies in what we do with it. Simple advice is: get busy when she's going out with her friends, but when you're with her and she says something; it all comes down to your mental sense of calm. If she's cool with that kind of stuff, you might even want to tell her that you get these feelings, but you're aware that they're not justified and only in your head: maybe she can even help you with it.

AnonUser8509 · 2015-05-21T17:42:15+00:00

I found this blog post (and others on this blog) to be quite helpful.

TheRedditorist · 2015-05-21T18:40:35+00:00

You're insecure is all. Acknowledge this first, and that will be your starting point towards solving your issue. Jealousy comes from the feeling that you're not enough or that someone else has something you don't - hence the feeling of violation. So my suggestion, is find out what that is, it won't be obvious or self evident in the beginning, so process it and learn from it. It's very important that you realize what actions cause this jealousy to happen, as it's directly related to your uncovered insecurity. Then as your confidence/internal foundation develops,you'll begin to find it easier for it not affect you, simply because you've done the work towards development. It's important to emotionally process this then logically process it afterwords. You need to understand why so you won't be triggered later on by a different action. Cheers

jk147 · 2015-05-21T14:26:19+00:00

It is simple, invest more in yourself. Create better opportunities for yourself, go and do more things for your life. There is such a thing as too much investment, meaning you are obsessed with every action that she does. Once you are busy with your own life it will balance out.

Squand · 2015-05-21T17:53:46+00:00

"I get jealous when she talks about how her male co-worker did something funny during work or when she favorite's other guys content on social media."

Do you ever feel like you're going to cheat? Have you ever cheated?

Title	Advice for becoming more confident and less jealous?
Author	boutaweekago
Upvotes	23
Comments	21
Date	May 21, 2015 8:07 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/36qe6i/advice_for_becoming_more_confident_and_less/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/advice-for-becoming-more-confident-and-less.1388454 https://theredarchive.com/post/1388454

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