I feel like I might be going about this the wrong way, and I’m trying to figure out if I’m being too indirect.

I’ve been approaching women and getting numbers here and there, but nothing has really come of it. I get that dating is a numbers game—you’re not going to connect with everyone you approach, and rejection is part of it. That part doesn’t really bother me. What I’m questioning is how I’m approaching and whether I’m being clear enough about my intentions.

For example, I recently started working out at my school gym and approached a girl who was doing sumo squats—an exercise I struggle with. I asked if she could show me proper form because I was feeling it more in my back than my glutes. She was happy to help, we had a short conversation, and I asked for her number so we could continue talking later. I got her number and her Instagram, but it turned out she has a boyfriend. No big deal—just part of the game.

Another example: there’s a girl from one of my classes who happened to park in the same garage as me, and we ended up walking and talking together a few times. She told me about a research project she’s involved in, which I genuinely found interesting. When we were about to part ways, I said something like, “Your project sounds really cool, I’d like to learn more—let’s exchange numbers.” She agreed, we talked more afterward, and eventually I asked her out. She politely declined.

So my question is this: are these approaches too underhanded or indirect? Am I failing to make my intentions clear from the start by framing things as curiosity or conversation instead of being upfront about interest?

I’m not trying to manipulate or sneak my way into anything—I’m just wondering if I’d have better results being more direct earlier on.