While <this> postmight not have turned out to be the last post you ever need to read even though the intention behind it is good, the post lead me to a realization I think is important but has not received much attention: the importance of not always taking the easiest, most comfortable way.

As most people seem to know the core of games comes down to a few principles and that in order to adhere to this principles a conscious change has to be made in their mindset and behaviour. However what most people do not seem to realize sufficiently is that making changes requires going through a certain amount of uncomfortability, as opposed o their usual habit which is most comfortable to them. I would go as far as saying that if people on this subreddit have been conditioned into finding different behaviour comfortable they would not have been here in the first place.

Let me illustrate this idea with a few examples of commonly used principles and how being uncomfortable applies to them:

Seeking approval: A lot of "game" is based on not seeking approval from other people and thus being more invested in your own opinion of yourself than being invested in what other people think of you (~Mark Manson). However it is more easy to seek approval because seeking approval basically allows you to let others to do the thinking for you and thus you have to do less effort to get along. Seeking approval is the most comfortable and safe way to get along. However, seeking approval is also the fastest way to reduce your attraction. Not seeking approval and thus deciding for yourself what you approve of requires willpower and effort to do. At first you will feel very uncomfortable but after a while you will get used to it and your attractiveness will go up

Not being insecure: According to Chateau Heartiste, one of the fundamentals of attractiveness in males is not being insecure. To illustrate what this means he points to this story of a guy who deliberately stopped to say insecure things. At first it must have been uncomforable for him to not saying insecure things but because he consciously forced himself he was very attractive to women.

Taking the lead: There has been written a lot about being dominant being the most important determinant of attractiveness. Taking the lead however can be very uncomfortable, it is way easier to let others go first. When going first, in the beginning you will almost instinctively try to look back at what other people are doing but you should resist this and force yourself to go anyway. After a while it will be second nature and you will be "more alpha"/more confident.

Back to the post I linked to in my intro. People might wonder that if you don't seek approval and take the lead you will be a operating on your own most of the time. The mindshift you have to make is that it is your role to provide the opportunity for people to tag along. I believe this is also what Nick Sparks talked about in his conversational video: "your only role is to start the conversation". Herein lies the fundament of being aloof as coined by Chateau Heartiste here. You should only provide the opportunity, and after that they can take it or leave it and you won't be bothered by it.

I think that when you grow "comfortable being uncomfortable the rest will follow automatically and you will be more confident in every aspect of life

PS: I think this is also why challenges like abstaining from masturbation work so well for people (besides the argueable inherit benefits); not masturbating is a very uncomfortable habit at first, but it allows you to get used to it and thus boosts your tolerance to uncomfortability