So, I know that questions are for AskSeddit, but this is more of an open-answer give me your 2 cents for what worked with you sort of thing (plus this just has a larger userbase and it's somewhat urgent)

The shortened version is I'm about to meet up with a friend who is clearly into me, and I'm pretty sure she's DTF. The issue is that of the three times I've almost had sex, I couldn't receive an erection due to any number of things (alcohol, nerves, and possibly a lack of sexual attraction respectively). As with any behavioral pattern, if a result keeps happening again and again, the brain seems to expect this/continue the pattern unless action is taken (just think of a positive feedback loop).

I've been consciously trying NOT to psyche myself out by thinking that the next attempt will be different, but it's challenging when your only experience is failure. I've even stopped masturbating for several weeks in an attempt to "reset" my sexual appetite (I may have been "addicted" to porn), so that I'll more easily get an erection through a real experience, instead of media (there's actually SOME science behind nofap if you do your research)

I think a large part of it is just anxiety. From a physiological standpoint, it makes perfect sense why you can't achieve an erection when you're nervous (when the fight-or-flight nervous system is active blood is redirected to muscles) but I can't ever recall a time when I haven't been nervous with a girl, even just making out or something (and while alcohol would help with nerves if used minimally it is a CNS depressant which also makes getting an erection difficult)

I guess what I'm asking is how are you not nervous when you're making out/how do you achieve and erection during foreplay? It just doesn't seem to work for me...

TL;DR: How can I stop being nervous right before sex?